


It Had To Be You

by baby2steph



Category: GOT7
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-02-28 06:44:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 40,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13265898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baby2steph/pseuds/baby2steph
Summary: “Tuan Yien?” Jackson looked up at Mark through his long lashes, his black eyes staring intensely but somehow still tender and soft. “I want to marry you. I want to be a good husband for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to make you love me and I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Will you, um, marry me?”Mark's world was spinning too quickly. On his eighteen birthday, his parents told him that he would marry Jackson Wang. And when Jackson entered his life, Mark felt his entire world instantly flipped.





	1. Once In A Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> It was supposed to be oneshoot but I just couldn't help my self lol. I wrote this for weeks and it's finally here! T_T  
> I'm sorry if there are lots of grammatical errors. English is not my first language but I'll try my best. Big thanks for my sister who always helping me beta-read my stories ♡

When Mark turned 18, his parents made a big decision in his life. It happened on his birthday. That very night after his small birthday party had ended, his parents dragged him to his room. Mark knew something was about to happen and he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to like it.

 

"Mark, baobei," Jinyoung, his mother, said in a soft tone. They sat in Mark's bed. Mark was squeezed between his parents. His mother on his right side and his father on the other side.

 

"Yes, Mom?"

 

Jinyoung glanced at Jaebum, his busband, with a concern look. Mark immediately sensed that something was wrong. Judging from their odd behavior, he realized that they would say something important to him because usually his mother always had a way with words. But now he seemed uncertain and his father sighed loudly beside him.

 

"Mark, baby," his father started carefully. "We need to tell you something."

 

"What it is, Dad?" Mark asked curiously.

 

Jaebum and Jinyoung exchanged glances, silently communicated with their eyes. Mark always amazed about how his parents could have a conversation without talking. They were always in sync and understood each other very well. Mark and Yugyeom, his brother, thought that if the whole soulmates thing does really exist, then their parents would be the most perfect soulmates ever because they fitted perfectly like ying and yang. They balanced and completed each others.

 

"Baobei, you know that we love you so much, right?” Mark didn’t like how his mother sounded really distress but he nodded wordlessly. “Mom and Dad just want the best for you."

 

Mark looked at his mother confusedly. "Yeah, I know. Mom, is there something wrong?"

 

His mother shook his head and tried to smile but it didn’t reach his beautiful eyes.

 

"No. Nothing is wrong."

 

Mark started to fidget. "Mom, can you just tell me what it is?"

 

Jaebum reached out to hold Mark's hand. His father's hand was so warm and Mark immediately felt calm. Ever since he was still a little kid, his father’s present could always calm him down easily.

 

"Baby, there is something you need to know. But after you hear this, please don't be mad at us. We just want the best for you."

 

Mark sighed. "Dad, I will never get mad at you or mom. Never."

 

"Okay." his father said faintly. He glanced at his wife once again before looked at Mark in the eye. “Baby, you’re going to get married with Jackson Wang next month."

 

" _W_ _hat_?"

 

* * *

 

Mark’s world turned into upside down within minutes. Few minutes ago he was just a plain Mark, an ordinary boy who just celebrated his eighteen birthday with family and friends. He was free and didn’t have any obligation beside college. But then, it happened. His parents tried to explain everything to him slowly. They said Im family had made an agreement with Wang family many years ago. They agreed to marry their grandchildren in order to extend their big family. But this agreement only addressed to the first child on both of the families. And this meant Mark, as the oldest, had to take the agreement.

Mark didn’t say anything at first. He couldn’t believe what they just said to him. His parents looked guilty and when they hugged Mark tightly, he still couldn’t utter a single word to reply them. He needed time to think. This whole arranged married thing made him wanted to puke. What was he supposed to do? He was eighteen but his parents just told him that he would get married with someone he didn’t know. And to be more precise, he would get married next month.

 

“I’m sorry, baby,” his mother whispered sadly before they left Mark’s room to let him think. Mark wanted to say something but he couldn’t even look at them.

 

After his parents left, Mark laid helplessly on his bed. He stared blankly at the ceiling in his room. His mind went blank and he just couldn’t think. Few minutes later, there was a knock and his door opened. Yugyeom stood in the doorway, looking somewhat hesitant. By the look on his face, Mark knew that his brother knew about the arranged married.

 

“Hyung, can I come in?”

 

Mark didn’t say anything. Instead he scooted over to the wall and patted the free spot on his bad, silently inviting Yugyeom to come. His brother closed the door behind him before climbed on Mark’s bed. As soon as he lay next to Mark, Yugyeom scooped his tiny figure to his chest. Mark sighed heavily in Yugyeom’s embrace.

 

“I’m sorry,” his brother murmured quietly. He stroke Mark’s back gently while playing with his hair. “Mom and dad are feeling guilty. But they can’t cancel the wedding because it will cut the ties between both of the families.”

 

Mark tried to swallow a lump on his throat. Tears started to well up on his eyes.

 

“I know,” his voice broke. “I know, Gyeom-ah.”

 

“Hyung…”

 

Mark finally chocked on a loud sob and he clutched his arms around Yugyeom’s neck, sobbing quietly. Yugyeom rocked his brother gently. He felt sorry for his brother. Mark had always been quiet and he had always obeyed their parents. This was so unfair for him. At the other hand, Yugyeom also knew that his parents hated the idea of deciding something for their children. They never forced Mark and Yugyeom to do something they didn’t want or like. But this married ordeal was decided by their grandparents. There was nothing they could do to change it.

If only, Yugyeom thought inwardly, if only there was a way to cancel the wedding, Yugyeom would do everything in his power to cancel it so his brother could be free from this obligation.

 

“Hey,” Mark suddenly chuckled. “You’re thinking too loud. I can hear it you know.”

 

Yugyeom sighed. “I hate this, ok? I hate to you see unhappy.”

 

Mark pulled away slightly so he could see his baby brother’s face. He smiled faintly and Yugyeom knew that this time, Mark would say yes again like he always did before. Yugyeom knew that Mark would never disobey their parents.

 

“I’m going to be okay, Yugyeom-ie,” he tried to reassure his brother. “Don’t worry.”

 

Yugyeom looked at his brother sadly. He caressed his soft cheek gently.

 

“But you aren’t happy, right, hyung?” 

 

Mark swallowed a sob that threatened to spill from his mouth. He laid his head on Yugyeom’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. Sometimes Mark wondered how could he be a hyung for Yugyeom who was more mature than him. He was only sixteen but he had always been the mature one between the two of them. But Mark was glad he was the one who would marry this Jackson Wang because he would never let his parents force Yugyeom to do something like this. Yugyeom was precious to him and he deserved to choose whoever he wanted to marry. Mark was willing to do anything for his family, even if that meant he had to sacrifice himself.

 

“Gyeom?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Sleep with me tonight?” Mark whispered in the darkness.

 

“Okay.” Yugyeom tightened his hold on Mark’s body and planted a kiss on his forehead. “Sleep tight, hyung. Don’t worry. I’m here.”

 

That night, Mark dreamt about an empty house and a faceless guy. He dreamt about how unhappy he was and cried himself to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Mark acted like nothing happened. He woke up early like usual and helped his mother in the kitchen. Jinyoung looked surprised when Mark smiled at him but he smiled back at his son. After the breakfast was ready, Mark called Yugyeom and his father to come down. They sat silently during breakfast but Mark knew his parents constantly glancing at him.

Mark decided to break the news. He cleared his throat and straightened his back.

 

“I will marry him.”

 

Jaebum chocked on his food. Jinyoung’s eyes widen. Only Yugyeom remained silent.

 

“Are you serious, baby?” his father asked hesitantly.  

 

Mark nodded. “Yes. When will I meet him?”

 

Jinyoung reached out to hold Mark’s hand. His beautiful eyes still looked sad. It pained Mark how his parents were as heartbroken as he was right now but just like him, they couldn’t do anything to cancel the wedding.

 

“You will meet him this Saturday.” His father informed him. “Alone.”

 

“Alone? How about his parents?”

 

“Jackson’s parents are in China right now. They’re on business trip so Jackson will come here to meet you personally.”

 

_Jackson_. His name was Jackson. Mark almost forgot about it. That was when he realized that he didn’t know anything about his soon-to-be husband.

 

“I want to know about him.” Mark suddenly said. He coughed awkwardly when his mother gave him a mischievous look. “I mean, I’m going to meet him this week and I think it will be more appropriate if I know some informations about him.”

 

His mother smiled at him. He always knew that his oldest was thoughtful and caring. “All right. I’ll tell you after we’ve finished breakfast.”  

 

After they had finished breakfast, his mother dragged him to the living room. Mark lay comfortably on his mother’s lap. His mother started to tell him about Jackson Wang in general. From his mother, Mark knew that Jackson was older than him. He was 28, ten years older than Mark. He owned his own company and one of the most successful business men in Seoul. Mark was not really interest with how rich he was. Fame and money were never his priority. When Mark asked his mother how Jackson looked like, Jinyoung stared at him with a glint in his eyes.

 

Jinyoung hummed teasingly. “Let’s just say he’s definitely your type.”

 

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. “My type? I don’t have type, mom.”

 

Jinyoung chuckled. He stroked Mark’s hair gently.

 

“Really? But his body is lean. He’s not so tall but he’s strong. He can protect you from bad guys. He is also gentle. I have a feeling that he will treat you like a princess.”

 

Mark blushed. “Mom, I’m not a girl! And I can protect myself, ok?”

 

Jinyoung laughed. His eyes wrinkled in the most beautiful way.

 

“You know what, baobei,” Jinyoung said softly, “You will always be our little baby. My precious little baby. Even after you’re married and have kids.”

 

Mark’s eyes started to water but he said nothing. He buried his face on his mother’s tummy. He still couldn’t believe that he would get married soon. Mark never thought that his life would turn to be like this but Mark already promised to himself that he would do anything to his family. There was no turning back.

 

* * *

 

Saturday rolled around quickly and before Mark knew it, his soon-to-be husband would arrive soon. He was pacing anxiously on his room when his mother called his name to come down. Mark tried to calm himself, his heart was beating loudly against his ribs. He couldn’t help but nervous.

 

“Hyung?”

 

Yugyeom’s voice from outside his door startled Mark.

 

“Y-yes?”

 

“Are you coming, hyung? He’s here.”

 

Mark swallowed hard and bit his lip. “Yes. In a minute, Gyeom-ah.”

 

“Okay.”

 

After convincing himself that he would be okay, Mark came down the stairs somewhat reluctantly. But what he found at the bottom of stairs make him halted his step. A handsome man stood in the middle of his living room. He looked exactly like how his mother described him days ago; lean, not so tall, and judging from his appearance Mark knew he was definitely strong. He was handsome and Mark thought he looked so fine. But this was not the first time Mark saw handsome men. It was definitely not about the way he looked or how his clothes fitted his muscular body perfectly. It was not about that. The way he looked at Mark—he felt his knees went weak because Jackson’s stare was so strong. His sharp eyes looked straight in Mark’s eyes and he froze on his spot.

 

“Baobei?” his mother called worriedly because Mark didn’t move from where he was standing. “Are you okay?”

 

Mark blinked. He nodded woodenly at his mother.

 

“Yes, mom.”

 

Mark slowly walked toward them. When he was close enough with Jackson, he refused to look at him. Jinyoung grabbed Mark’s hand gently and guided him to stand next to Jackson.

 

“Mom has to go to your father’s company after this. We need to discuss something. Yugyeom-ie stays at Bammie’s house tonight. Jackson will be here to accompany you until we comes home. Is that okay, baobei?”

 

Mark tried not to show his panic state and nodded solemnly. Jinyoung turned to Jackson and smiled.

 

“Sseun-ah, Mark hasn’t eaten his dinner yet. Please make sure he eats something. You will stay here with him, right?”

 

Jackson smiled at Mark’s mother.

 

“Yes, Ma.” His voice was so deep and Mark found himself shuddered slightly.

 

Jinyoung looked satisfied with Jackson’s answer. He nodded and after kissed both Mark and Jackson goodbye, he left. Mark stood awkwardly, still didn’t look at Jackson. He bit his lip, unsure about what to do or say. He barely knew about Jackson and he was too shy to start a conversation. It would be really nice if Yugyeom was here but unfortunately his baby brother was staying at his best friend’s house.

 

“Yien?” Jackson called him softly and Mark’s head shot up to look at him, bewildered. His big eyes stared at Jackson; shock, confused, and defensive. No one ever called him by his Chinese name but now Jackson casually said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

“How do you know my Chinese name?” Mark asked accusingly, he just couldn’t help it. Jackson didn’t even flinch. He seemed calm and collected.

 

“I know a lot about you,” he said bluntly and Mark honestly didn’t know how to react to his brutal honesty. “But first, we need to feed you. I won’t let you skip dinner.”

 

Jackson walked to the kitchen and Mark just stared dumbly at his back. He thought their first meeting would be awkward. Well, he did feel awkward at first but he didn’t expect Jackson to act casually with him. It was as if they have known each other long before they have met. Mark remembered the way Jackson called his Chinese name like it was the most natural thing to do and strangely, he felt familiar with it. But it didn’t make sense at all. This was their first meeting but why was Jackson acting like he had met Mark before?

 

“Yien, is that okay?”

 

Mark blinked. “Huh?”

 

He chuckled. “I asked you, is it okay if I make dumpling for you?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

Jackson smiled warmly at him and Mark felt like someone just slapped him hard because he never thought that his first reaction to it was _shaking_. Jackson’s smile sent a vibration straight to Mark’s body and he wondered why Jackson Wang could have such effect to him.

 

* * *

 

Jackson and Mark were sitting on dining table, facing each other. They didn’t talk much. Jackson was silently doing everything for Mark. Mark had to admit that Jackson made a very good dumpling. He had no idea how a serious man like him could cook. Mark supposed it was just one of his hobbies. He couldn’t ask directly to him though. Jackson was quiet through the whole night. Part of him felt glad because that meant he didn’t have to talk. Mark honestly didn’t even know how to react to this whole situation. With Jackson being here with him tonight, cooking for him, made Mark realized that the arranged married was real. He really would get married at the age of eighteen.

 

“Yien?” Jackson called somewhat hesitant. Mark looked up from his food. He didn’t even have time to complain about the nickname, too overwhelmed with his own thoughts.

 

“Y-yes?” he couldn’t help but stuttered.

 

Jackson looked at him in the eye again and Mark found himself couldn’t move. He cleared his throat and now his full attention was on Mark.

 

“I—“ he seemed struggle to find a right words and Mark started to fidget on his seat. “I—I’m sorry.”

 

Mark blinked at him. “What?”

 

“I’m sorry, Yien,” he choked and then swallowed. “I’m sorry if this arranged married trapped you. I’m sorry you have to marry an old man like me. I’m sorry you can’t have your dream wedding with your dream partner. I’m sorry they didn’t give you any options. I’m so sorry.”

 

Jackson sucked in a fast breath like someone had punched him in the gut. “I’m sorry.” He whispered quietly.

 

Mark gasped and stared at Jackson, clearly didn’t expect him to burst like that. What was he saying? Why was he kept saying sorry to Mark? If this arranged married was made by their grandparents, then it wasn’t Jackson fault at all.

 

“Ja-Jackson,” Mark called his name for the first time, testing it on his tongue. “It’s.. it’s not your fault. Don’t be sorry.”

 

Jackson looked at Mark and his expression froze him again. He raised a hand to wipe a sweat from his forehead. Mark could sense his distress but couldn’t do anything to comfort him. Jackson’s black eyes seemed out of focus and his mouth opened like he was going to say something, but nothing came out. For a moment Mark couldn’t speak. It never occurred to him that Jackson might be just like him; a victim. He didn’t have an option and he also couldn’t choose who he would like to marry. Mark realized that it wasn’t easy for both of them. They’re on the same boat.

 

“Do you mind if I do something?” Jackson suddenly said. Before Mark could answer, Jackson was already on his feet. He spun around the dining table until he stood in front of Mark.

 

“W-what,” Mark stuttered, wondering what would Jackson do to him.

 

Mark gasped loudly as Jackson knelt down on one knee like he was about to handed his world to Mark. Jackson carefully moved Mark’s chair so he was facing him. He put both of his hands on Mark’s knees, a feather-light touch. It sent a shiver down Mark’s spine and he tensed. Jackson must felt it too because almost immediately he withdrew his hands.

 

“Yien,” he said slowly and somehow this moment felt so intimate. Mark held his breath, staring straight into Jackson’s eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t cancel this wedding and that we’re still getting married. But, please, let me do this right.”

 

“Jackson...” Mark whispered, knowing what Jackson up to. But he was too stunned to stop him so he let him do whatever he wanted to say at this moment.

 

Jackson took a deep breath.

 

“Tuan Yien?” Jackson looked up at Mark through his long lashes, his black eyes staring intensely but somehow still tender and soft. “I want to marry you. I want to be a good husband for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to make you love me and I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Will you, um, marry me?”

 

Mark’s world stopped for a moment. His breath seemed to get stuck on his throat. There was something in Jackson’s eyes that made everything he had said felt real. But, it wasn’t. Mark knew it wasn’t.

There were many things Mark wanted to say and lots going on his mind but right now, at this very moment, with Jackson still on his knee, his gaze unwavering, nothing else seemed matter anymore. The word _love_ that came out so easily and naturally from Jackson’s mouth made Mark felt funny on his stomach. The promises, the simple proposal, and those hopeful eyes that still staring at him was not helping. Mark felt so, so weak. His body was shaking slightly and suddenly his eyes started to water—this sudden proposal made him so emotional.

 

“No, no, no,” Jackson was so fast to take Mark’s face between his hands. “Yien, please, don’t cry.”

 

Mark chocked on a loud sob. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

 

Jackson shook his head and wiped Mark’s tears gently.

 

“I’m sorry if my proposal shocked you,” he said guiltily. “Please tell me what I can do to make you stop crying. Yien, don’t cry.”

 

“It’s okay. I’m fine. I’m just...” Mark cried. He looked at Jackson’s worried eyes. “I’m just.. I’m scared, Jackson.”

 

“Oh, _baby_ ,”

 

Mark jumped a little at the sound of the endearing nickname that slipped so easily from Jackson’s mouth. His eyes widen but Jackson didn’t seem to notice his own action. He looked so worried and kept stroking Mark’s cheeks gently. Mark wanted to tell Jackson that he just couldn’t called him with all those nicknames when the reason why they were here was to fulfill an agreement. This wasn’t real. This was just an obligation. Jackson wasn’t supposed to look concern when Mark was crying. He wasn’t supposed to look like it pained him to see him get hurt. But his mind was buzzing so he didn’t utter a single word to correct him. Instead, Mark cried harder.

 

“Don’t be scared. You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay, baby.” He promised and Mark found himself believed his words easily.

 

Mark was choking and breathing loudly. His eyes were red and swollen.

 

“I know you just can’t believe me because we just met but please let me take care of you, Yien.”

 

Mark didn’t know what has gotten into him that night but he nodded. Jackson breathed a sigh of relief. He let go of Mark’s face and smiled sheepishly at him. He took something from his pocket and there it was—a tiny black box. Mark’s breath hitched because he knew exactly what’s inside.

 

“It is a ring, yes. I want to give it to you personally before our wedding day.”

 

Mark bit his lip. Honestly he wasn’t sure how to answer him so he nodded  again. “Okay.”

 

“Do you want to see it?”

 

“Yes.” He whispered.

 

Jackson smiled before opened the box on his hand. Nestled into the black satin, 1895 wedding band’s ring sparkled under the dinning’s room light. The band was platinum and the design was simple, just like how Mark liked it. Unthinkingly, he stroked it.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

“It’s beautiful.”

 

Jackson chuckled. “See if it fits.”

 

“O-okay,” Mark said nervously.

 

He reached for the ring but Jackson’s long fingers beat him first. Jackson took Mark’s left hand in his ever so gently, and slid the ring into place on his third finger. He held Mark’s hand out, and both of them examined the oval sparkling against Mark’s skin. It wasn’t as awful as Mark had feared, having it there on his slender finger.

 

“A perfect fit,” Jackson said softly. “It looks very nice on you.”

 

Mark stared into Jackson’s eyes, trying to decipher the emotions on his face. He gazed back, and Mark’s breath hitched because Jackson was _glowing_. His face was brilliant with joy and victory. He looked so glorious that it knocked Mark breathless.

 

“So, will you marry me?” he asked again, but his tone was playful and Mark found himself smiled shyly at him.

 

“Yes.” he whispered.

 

“Thank you, Yien.”

 

Jackson took his left hand again and kissed each of his fingertips before he kissed the ring that was now his. For the first time in his life, Mark felt his heart fluttered.

 

* * *

 

Jackson stayed with Mark until his parents came home. After they had finished dinner, Mark took him to living room to watch a movie. Jackson chuckled when Mark took his Disney collection. Mark narrowed his eyes at him and Jackson quickly held his hand on air, surrender. They sat next to each other but Mark tried to sit as far as he could from Jackson. It wasn’t good for him to be so close with Jackson because suddenly he felt nervous around him.

 

They watched Mulan—Mark’s choice, obviously—silently but after half of the movie, Mark started to dozed off.

 

“Yien, do you want to sleep?”

 

Mark yawned but shook his head. “No.”

 

Jackson didn’t look convinced but he nodded. “Okay then.”

 

Mark leaned on the couch, staring at the screen with half-lidded eyes. Just when he was about to fall in a deep slumber, a strong arms enveloped him in a tight embrace. Mark gasped when he realized Jackson was about to carry him. He tried to protest but Jackson shushed him.

 

“Let’s get you to bed. You have school tomorrow.”

 

He was right. Mark’s first class would start at 7 and he was actually sleepy. Jackson didn’t wait for his response as he gently carried Mark’s tiny figure to his room in bridal style. Mark’s head fell on Jackson’s shoulder and he shyly wrapped his arms around his neck.

 

“Where’s your room?”

 

“Upstairs.”

 

Mark was skinny but he definitely wasn’t light. But the way Jackson carried him on his arms, it was like Mark weigh nothing. This wasn’t supposed to happened, he thought inwardly. Mark tried to knock some sense on himself. But this wasn’t felt wrong either. Being in Jackson’s arms strangely comforted Mark. As strange as it sounded, Mark felt warm, safe, and protected.

When Jackson laid Mark on his bed carefully, his eyes were shut tightly. He had already slept so he didn’t know that that night, right before Jackson left his room, he planted a tender kiss on his forehead.

 

“Sleep well, baby.” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

Jackson didn’t come to his house after that because he had to go to China for business trip. Mark was glad he didn’t meet Jackson because he wasn’t ready. After Jackson traditionally proposed to him, Mark found himself thinking about Jackson almost every day. Jackson let Mark had the ring and now almost every second Mark would glance at his left hand to check if the ring was still there. Silly, he knew. Of course the ring was still there, fitted perfectly on his slender finger. When his family noticed it for the first time, their reactions were different. His mother gasped loudly, looking at the ring with amazement meanwhile his father nodded in satisfaction. He praised Jackson for being a gentleman. Even Yugyeom couldn’t stop staring at his finger. He muttered “ _pretty_ ” quietly and Mark couldn’t help but blush every time people threw comments about his ring.

His family agreed to run a private wedding on his house because they know how bad Mark was with the crowd. He hated being the center of attention. It made him nervous. When his mother asked him if Mark wanted to invite his friends, he just shook his head. For some reasons Mark didn’t want to expose his wedding. He wasn’t ready and his mother reassured him not to worry about anything.

Days passed by so quickly and before Mark knew it, it was already a day before his wedding day. Mark didn’t want to get involved in wedding preparation. Beside, his mother and Mama Wang already took care of everything. They spend almost every weekends organized the wedding. Mark had met Mama Wang several times and in no time he became Mama Wang’s favorite. Sophia would gush over Mark and called him frequently on phone, asking about his day. Through Mama Wang, Mark got to know Jackson better because she told him so many stories about his soon-to-be husband. Mark didn’t really complain. He had accepted the fact that he’s getting married so everytime Mama Wang told him something about Jackson, he would listen to it carefully.

That night, Mark lay back against his pillow after his parents kissed him goodbye. Jinyoung and Jaebum stayed at his room for a while. Mark knew they worried about him. When his parents hold his hands and telling him just how much they love him, Mark tried so hard not to cry in front of them. Even when his mother’s voice broke, Mark stayed composed.

It was completely silent outside. His parents had already slept. Mark stared at the walls of his room. Tonight was his last night in his room. His last night as Mark Tuan. Tomorrow, he would be Mark Wang. Though the whole marriage ordeal was a thorn in his side, Mark had to admit that it wasn’t sound so bad anymore.

Mark let his mind wander idly for a moment, expecting sleep to take him. But after a few minutes, Mark found himself more alert, anxiety creeping back into his stomach, twisting uncomfortably. Suddenly his room was too quiet and all the peaceful, relaxed feelings were instantly gone. Mark was getting married tomorrow and he wanted to puke.

Mark was about to get up from his bed when his phone suddenly vibrated. He took it blindly without looking at the ID caller.

 

“ _Hello?_ ”

 

“Jiaer.” Mark couldn’t help but sounded so relief by the sound of Jackson’s voice. His soon-to-be husband chuckled.

 

“ _Couldn’t sleep?_ ”

 

“Yes.”

 

“ _Nervous?_ ”

 

Mark sighed. “Yes.”

 

“ _Don’t worry. You’re going to be okay_.” He said reassuringly. Mark was suddenly calm. Jackson was, in his own way, capable of calm him down easily. One word from him and it swept all of his anxiety.  

 

“ _Is there anything I can do for you, Yien?_ ” he added softly.

 

The thing about Jackson was he always showed that he cared. He didn’t call often but when he does, he tried to make Mark comfortable and distracted him so he didn’t think about their wedding day. Jackson knew their wedding still made Mark nervous.

 

“No, it’s ok. You must be really tired right now. How’s work?”

 

Jackson sighed heavily. “ _Work is tiring as usual. But this is my last day before our wedding. I took one week off of office._ ”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Jackson coughed awkwardly. “ _For our honeymoon_.”

 

“ _Oh_.”

 

Mark blushed violently and buried his face on his pillow even though Jackson couldn’t see it. Jackson laughed.

 

“ _Don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything you dislike._ ”

 

“O-okay,” Mark stuttered. “Where will you take me?”

 

“ _It’s a secret_.”

 

Mark could hear Jackson’s smile and he unconsciously huffed.

 

“Unfair,” he whined. “Why can’t I know?”

 

“ _Because_ ,” Jackson sounded amused and Mark hated how his heart started to beat a little bit faster. “ _I want this as a surprise for you, baby. I promise you’re going to like it._ ”  

 

Mark didn’t know how but now he was kind of get used to the endearing nicknames from Jackson. He even called Jackson by his Chinese name now. It just slipped naturally. To be honest, Mark was worried and scared at first. How could Jackson manage to make him get used to his present so quickly?

 

“ _Go to sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow._ ” He said, pulling Mark back to reality.

 

Mark sighed. “Okay.”          

 

“ _I’ll meet you at the altar?_ ” he asked softly. Mark could feel a blush creeping on his face and neck.

 

“I’ll be the one in white.” Mark answered.

 

“ _Good night, Yien_.”

 

“Good night, Jiaer.”

 

Mark sighed deeply. Tomorrow would be a very, very long day. 

 

* * *

 

“Deep breaths, baobei,” his mother said. “And try to lower your heart rate.”

 

Mark tried to concentrate on his breathing, counting each movement of his lungs, and stared at the couch’s patterns on his room. He was afraid to look in the mirror—afraid of the image of himself in white tuxedo would send him over the edge into a panic attack.

Yugyeom came to his room before Mark had taken a hundred breaths. He was dressed in a black Armani that suited his slender body perfectly. Sometimes Mark couldn’t believe that he was sixteen. His brother was way taller and more mature for kids on his age.

 

“Hyung— _wow_.”

 

Yugyeom was standing in the doorway, jaw dropping. Mark blushed and tried to ignore his brother’s reaction.

 

“Is your father here?” his mother asked.

 

“He just walked in the door. He’s on his way up.”

 

Yugyeom looked at Mark again. He smiled.

 

“But, seriously, hyung. You look so beautiful. Just like mom.” he said genuinely and grinned.  

 

Mark blushed again. Jinyoung chuckled. Before Mark could say something to reply his brother, there was a loud, throat-clearing behind Yugyeom’s back.

 

“Baby, Sophia said it’s time you got settled down there,” Jaebum said to his wife.

 

“Is it time already?”

 

Jinyoung said to himself, sounding as nervous as Mark. He turned to his oldest son with a gentle smile.

 

“Give me a hug before I go down, please?”

 

Mark could feel a sting in the corner of his eyes but he nodded and got up so that he could hug his mother. Jinyoung squeezed him gently around his waist.

 

“Baobei, you know that I love you, right?” his mother whispered in his ear. Mark swallowed hard.

 

“I know, mom. I love you too.”

 

Jinyoung released Mark from his embrace and planted a kiss on his forehead before he dragged Yugyeom to leave the room with him. The room was quiet and Mark began to nervous again. His father stepped closer to him and Mark just realized that there was a bouquet on his hand.

 

“Are you ready, baby?”

 

Mark wanted to answer but his father’s voice sounded so far away. He couldn’t feel his legs. Jaebum moved to his side and gripped his wrist gently.

 

“It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.”

 

Mark took a deep breath.

 

“Ready?”

 

Mark looked at his father and nodded.

 

“Ready.” He said.

 

When Mark stepped out from his room, he could hear a loud music from the hall. Right before he go down the stairs, the music slowing down and Mark recognized his cue.

 

Mark bit his lips. “Don’t let me fall, Dad.”

 

“Never.”

 

Jaebum pulled Mark’s through his arms and then grasped it tightly. Mark told himself to walk slowly and carefully. He didn’t lift his eyes until his feet were safely on the flat ground. He could hear the guests started to murmur and Mark could feel blood flooded on his cheeks. When he finally lifted his head, Mark blushed more deeply as he realized that all faces were focused on him. He tried to avoid their gaze and then his eyes found Jackson.

All of sudden Mark was barely conscious that Jaebum was still stood by his side. All he really saw was Jackson’s face. It filled his vision and overwhelmed his mind. Jackson’s eyes met his and he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation.

And then, Mark was there, right in front of him. Jackson held out his. Jaebum took Mark’s hand and placed it in Jackson’s. Mark’s heart stopped beating for a second, knowing that the time has come.

Their vows were simple, traditional words that had been spoken a million times before. Jackson kept his eyes on him through the whole ceremony. Mark didn’t even realize he was crying until it was the time to say the binding words.

 

“I do,” Mark managed to choke out in a whisper, blinking his eyes clear so he could see Jackson’s face.

 

When it was Jackson’s turn to speak, his voice was clear and victorious.

 

“I do,” he vowed.

 

Mr. Kim declared them as partners and then Jackson’s hands reached out to cradle Mark’s face gently. Mark tried to comprehend the surreal fact that Jackson was now his husband. He still couldn’t believe it but then, Jackson bent his head toward and kissed him tenderly for the first time.

His first kiss, Mark thought inwardly as Jackson’s lip moved gently against his. After a while, Jackson pulled back and stared at Mark. He didn’t say anything but the way his black eyes shone brightly under the sunlight, Mark knew he was happy.

And he, strangely, felt exactly the same.

 

* * *

 

They had to go on their honeymoon right on their wedding day. Mark tried not to think about it because he would definitely panic. But Jackson promised him that this honeymoon was not like any other couples because he would never force Mark to do anything he dislikes. They would just play and enjoy the place—wherever Jackson took him because his husband still won’t tell him.

After changed his tuxedo into comfortable clothes, Mark descended the stairs alone. Jackson was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He smiled when he saw Mark and held out his hand. Mark shyly took his outstretched hand but lean away, scanning the little crowd that was waiting to see them off.

 

“Mom? Dad?” he called, his eyes searching.

 

“Over here,”

 

Jackson pulled him through the guests. They automatically made a pathway for them. Mark found his parents leaning against each other. He knew they were crying because his mother’s body was shaking.

 

“Mom,” Mark called, his throat went dry.

 

Jinyoung looked up and smiled, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. Mark stood in front of him and his mother immediately wrapped his arms around his small figure.

 

“I’m going to miss you,” he choked on a sob. Mark’s heart shattered because it was not every day his mother let his guard down. “Please call us as often as you can.”

 

Mark hugged his mother tightly and tried not to cry.

 

“Okay,” Mark promised him. “I love you, mom.”

 

“I love you, too, baby.”

 

Jinyoung released him and kissed him on the forehead. When Mark turned to his father, he couldn’t help but choked on a sob. His body was shaking terribly on his father’s embrace. He has always been close with his father and it was hard to hide his feeling in front of him.

 

“Oh, Dad,” Mark sobbed and hugged him around the waist, tears streaming again.

 

“Mark,” his father reckoned him back and forth like a baby and for moment Mark was back at five again. He patted Mark’s back gently. “Don’t cry.”

 

“I love you forever, dad,” Mark told him quietly, sobbing. “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“Me too, baby,” his father’s voice finally broke. “Me too.”

 

Jaebum kissed both of his cheeks, murmuring just how much he loves his oldest baby. After his father, it was Yugyeom’s turn. His baby brother squeezed him tightly it knocked breath out of Mark’s lungs. Yugyeom was crying on his neck and Mark forgot when was the last time his brother cried this hard.

 

“Don’t go,” he wailed between his tears. “Don’t go.”

 

Mark hugged him tightly. Yugyeom didn’t get a chance to spend more time with Mark because he has been busy with school lately. Mark’s heart clenched because after this he would not wake up by the sound of Yugyeom screaming for breakfast. He would not be there when his brother having a nightmare on rainy days. His time with Yugyeom was up so quickly.

 

“I love you, Yugyeom-ah,” Mark clutched his brother in his arms. “I love you. I will miss you the most.”

 

Yugyeom pulled back and staring down at his brother. He cradled Mark’s small head in his big hands. Mark stared back, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. He was crying so much tonight.

 

“You will visit us, right?”

 

Mark nodded. He smiled to lighten up the mood. “Of course, silly. I will annoy you all the time until you cry.”

 

“Please do that, hyung,” he said. “I can’t believe you’re going to leave me.”

 

Mark caressed his cheeks softly.

 

“I will be back before you know it. I will visit you, mom, and dad as often as I can.” Mark promised as he hugged his brother goodbye.

 

Yugyeom finally nodded. He hugged Mark one last time before walked toward BamBam who was watching the scene silently. Mark walked to BamBam and hugged him tightly.  He was just like his own brother to him. Yugyeom would never be lonely because he had BamBam with him.

When Mark turned around, he realized that the guests had been watching him. Some of them were in tears, including Mama Wang. Sophia hugged him so tight Mark was having a hard time to breathe but he hugged her back almost as tight. After Sophia released him, Youngjae, Jackson’s brother, gripped his sleeve shyly.

 

“Hyung,” he called. His eyes were red. They met a week before his weeding. Youngjae came with his mom because he wanted to know his brother’s wife. They clicked almost immediately. Youngjae’s bright personality matched with Mark’s.

 

“Youngjae-ya, hyung will miss you.”

 

Mark wrapped him arms around him. Youngjae broke into a sob. He clutched Mark’s waist. Mark knew Youngjae was sensitive and soft. Jackson walked toward his brother. They ended up patted Youngjae’s back together.

 

  
“Stop crying, you cry baby,” Jackson pinched his brother playfully. “We only go for a week.”

 

“But I know you will monopolize Mark hyung! You hate to share!” he whined.

 

“Of course I’m not going to share my wife with anyone.” Jackson admitted bluntly. Mark blushed deep. “Now let go of my wife. We’re late.” 

 

Mark was once again in Jackson’s embrace that night. He kissed Mark’s hair lightly, Mark didn’t even feel it. But the guests saw it and they squealed at the gesture, especially Jackson’s mother.

The guests made another aisle for them. Jackson pulled Mark close to his side as they made their escape.

 

“Are you ready?” Jackson asked. Mark nodded shyly.

 

Jackson smiled and then pushed him gently toward the car that was waiting for them. Mark rolled down the window, waving at the crowd as they speeding away. The last imagine Mark registered was his family. Jaebum had both arms wrapped tenderly around Jinyoung. Yugyeom was leaning against the wall with BamBam in his chest. His baby brother looked so lost and sad. Mark swallowed a lump on his throat before tearing his gaze to the darkness of the night.

Jackson didn’t say anything. He knew Mark needed some time alone. Mark leaned against the car’s window. He shut his eyes, crying silently.

* * *

 


	2. Slow Motion

Mark felt like he’d barely fallen asleep when Jackson woke him, telling him that they had arrived. He was groggy when his husband pulled him out of the car, struggling to open his heavy eyelids. It took Mark a few minutes to fully awake. He looked around and realized that they were stopped at the docks.

 

“Where are we?” Mark asked confusedly. “Are we still in Seoul?”

 

“Yes,” Jackson answered calmly but didn’t give him more information. “Would you please hold my hand, baby? It’s dark here and I don’t want you to fall. But it’s okay if you don’t want to. I’m just worried.”

 

Jackson held out his hand hesitantly. He never forced any skinship and always asked Mark’s permission first. Mark couldn’t help but blush. Actually it wasn’t so dark here. It was okay and Mark could walk by himself but it was hard to deny Jackson. He was always so concern when it came to Mark. Mark remembered one of their late night conversations before the wedding day. Jackson bluntly said that Mark’s safety was his priority. Also Sophia and Youngjae confirmed that Jackson was indeed a very protective and possessive type.

 

“O-okay,” Mark finally said and let Jackson held his hand. His husband smiled gratefully and continued to walk.

 

Mark was dying to know where they were heading. So they were still in Seoul, Mark thought inwardly as Jackson led the way down the long line of white yachts. The yacht they were stopped at was small but it looked more luxurious than others. Jackson leaped in first and Mark watched in awed by the way his husband moved so gracefully, despite the heavy bags he carried. He dropped those on the deck and turned to Mark again.

 

“Come on, baby,” he said as he reached out his hand to help Mark. Jackson wrapped his arms around Mark’s waist tightly before he carefully lifted him in yachts.

 

Mark watched in silence while Jackson prepared for their departure, surprised at how skilled he seemed because he’d never mentioned an interest in boating before. But then again, they were here because of an arranged marriage and Mark barely knew him.

As they headed to east into the open ocean, Mark unconsciously scooted closer to Jackson’s body. The wind was so strong and Mark couldn’t help but shiver slightly. Jackson noticed it almost immediately.

 

“Are you cold, baby?” he asked worriedly. Mark gritted his teeth and nodded.

 

“I’m sorry. Here, come closer.”

 

One of Jackson’s hand searching for Mark’s hand in the darkness and he found it naturally without turning his head to Mark. Jackson held Mark’s body against his own body as close as possible and rubbed his shoulder to keep him warm. Mark bit his lips, his face and neck were red. He was glad they were in the darkness and Jackson’s gaze was fixed in the ocean, that way he couldn’t see Mark’s expression.

Fifteen minutes later, Jackson called Mark’s name over the roar of the engine.

 

“Yien, look there,” he pointed out straight ahead.

 

At first, Mark could only see darkness. He blinked his eyes, trying to sharpen his gaze. He searched the space where Jackson pointed until he found twinkled lights in distance. As he squinted into the darkness, the silhouette became clearer. It was almost like a house. But it wasn’t. As they drew closer, Mark could see that the shape was an irregular triangle, with one side trailing longer than the other. And then his eyes refocused and the pieces became a small island rose out of the water ahead of them with a lot of palm trees, waving slightly with the wind.

 

“Where are we?” Mark muttered quietly but Jackson was standing close to him so he could hear it. His husband smiled a big smile that gleamed in the moonlight.

 

“This is Wang Island,”

 

Mark’s jaw dropped. “ _What?_ ”

 

The boat slowed, drawing into position against a short dock. The engine was cut off and Mark swallowed the lump in his throat. The silence was deafening. There was nothing but the waves, slapping lightly against the boat and the rustle of the breeze in palm trees.

 

“Wang Island?” Mark repeated in a low voice but it sounded too loud as it broke into the quiet night.

 

“Yes.”

 

“You mean, this island is yours?”

 

Jackson chuckled. “Apparently, yes. It’s private but I rarely use it.”

 

Jackson placed their suitcases on the dock and then turned back, smiling as he reached out for Mark. He pulled Mark out of boat carefully. When Mark’s legs successfully landed on the ground, he couldn’t stand straight and Jackson had to balance him. His arms wrapped on his waist.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah, just a little bit dizzy.”

 

“Come on, then. I will make you hot chocolate once we’re inside.”

 

As Jackson led them to the bungalow—he finally could figure it out—Mark was stuck with amazement. The bungalow was perfect squares with wide windows framing a front door. Suddenly, Mark was hyperaware that Jackson’s body pressed closely against his. His heart thudded audibly against his ribs and his breath seemed to get stuck in his throat. Mark felt Jackson’s gaze on his face but he refused to meet his gaze. He stared straight ahead, trying to calm his heartbeats. Mark was nervous because they were on honeymoon. They would be spending a week here without anyone else in a private island, only him and Jackson. Mark accidentally swallowed loudly and he believed that Jackson could hear him but he didn’t say anything. Mark guessed that meant he was just as nervous as he was.

Jackson dropped the suitcases on the porch before opened the door—it was unlocked. He looked down at Mark with gentle eyes, reassuring him silently before he stepped through the threshold.

Mark scanned the room with a slightly opened mouth. It was big, spacious, and warm. The room was mostly glass so they could see everything from inside.

They were standing in the middle of the room for a little bit longer without saying anything. Suddenly Jackson cleared his throat.

 

“Let me show you your room.”

 

Mark was fast to turn to his husband. “I have my own room?”

 

Jackson looked at him. He stood in front of him and Mark had to tilt his head up a little because Jackson was slightly taller than him. His husband was staring straight to his eyes and Make suddenly felt insecure about his looks because his husband looked so handsome with his natural messy hair. Mark was pretty sure he looked like an ugly duck with his hair sticking out everywhere. He knew his appearance was such a mess even without looking at the mirror.

 

“Yes, you will have your own room here,” he finally answered in a low voice. “You also have one in our new house. Yien, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable when you’re with me. I promised you that I will not to force you, right? We will... um, sleep together once you’re ready.”

 

Mark opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He could clearly see hurt in his husband’s eyes and Mark wanted so badly to tell him that it was completely okay to sleep together because they’re married now. Had there ever been a honeymoon like this where couples sleep in the different room? But there was a lump on his throat but Mark couldn’t bring himself to force it down. That’s when he realized that Jackson was right. He wasn’t ready. Not yet.

Mark answered Jackson’s question with a nod. Jackson took his suitcase and led him to his room. It was on the first floor and when he opened the door for him, Mark gasped loudly. The whole room was big and white. The far wall was mostly glass and Mark could see the moonlight and the glistening waves from where he was standing. It was bright with lights and Mark already liked it. But then his gaze landed on a big white bad. Mark’s heart dropped at the thought of sleeping there alone for a week on his own honeymoon. He didn’t know why he was so sad and disappointed just to think about it.

 

“Yien, are you okay?”

 

Mark jumped a little when he heard Jackson’s deep voice. He turned around and smiled lightly.

 

“Yes, I’m okay. Just.. sleepy.”

 

“How about hot chocolate?”

 

Mark shook his head. “No, thank you. I think I will just take a quick shower and go to bed.”

 

Jackson nodded. He looked hesitant and Mark noticed how he clenched and unclenched his fist like he wanted to touch Mark but in the end, he didn’t. Mark’s smile dropped when Jackson left his room wordlessly. Was he really expecting Jackson to kiss him goodnight?

Mark tried to shake that thought off from his head and went straight to the bathroom. For now, he really needed a warm shower.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Mark stirred awake when someone stroked his head gently. It felt almost like his mother’s but then he remembered that he was married and currently on honeymoon with Jackson in his private island. He blinked his eyes slowly and yawned.  His husband chuckled.

 

“Good morning, princess.”

 

Mark blushed and rolling around so he could bury his face on the pillow. He mentally screaming because he knew he looked unattractive in the morning with his bird-nest hair. Mark whined when Jackson tried to peel the pillow off his face.

 

“No!”

 

Jackson chuckled again. “Baby, you need to wake up.”

 

“I know,” Mark’s voice was muffled by the pillow but Jackson still could hear it. “You go first.”

 

“Are you embarrassed with your look, baby?”

 

When Mark lay unmoving on the bed, Jackson knew he was right. The latter couldn’t hold back his big smile that bloom on his face. His husband was so cute, he mused.

Mark thought Jackson was already gone but when he was about to peel the pillow off his face, the bed dipped and Mark immediately clutched it back. Jackson tried to peel it off again and this time Mark let him. Before he could say anything, Jackson suddenly climbed on top of him. His strong arms trapped Mark’s small figure.

 

“Yien,” said Jackson in a deep and low voice. Mark tried not to whimper as his deep voice made him feel funny on his stomach.

 

Jackson brushed Mark’s hair away from his face. “Don’t hide, baby.”

 

Mark squirmed under Jackson. His cheeks colored with a blush. He turned his gaze away but Jackson grabbed his chin gently.

 

“You’re beautiful, Yien,” Jackson said, staring straight at him. “You are.”

 

“J-Jiaer, w-what are you doing?” Mark’s stuttered, his heart beating erratically against his ribs. Jackson’s intense gaze made him flush.

 

“Yien, can I kiss you?”

 

Mark’s blood was rushing and for a moment he couldn’t find his strength to answer Jackson. But after a while he found himself nodded shyly, finding no reason to deny his husband’s request. They would be spending the rest of their life together so Mark didn’t see why he should avoid his husband.

Jackson, without moving his eyes from Mark’s, was leaning down to rest his lips at the base of his throat. Mark couldn’t move but he unconsciously tilted his head upward so Jackson had a better access. His soft lips brushed softly against Mark’s warm skin and he shivered. Jackson’s traced the shape of Mark’s jaw with his lips and moved to his cheeks with deliberate slowness. He took Mark’s face in his hands and then his lips pressed ever so softly against Mark’s.

At first, Jackson didn’t move. When he felt Mark’s body began to relax, he moved his lips. Jackson kissed Mark with so much intensity it made Mark felt like he’s burning. The kiss was different this time. It wasn’t innocent and soft like they had on their wedding day. It was serious kind of kiss—intense, feverish, and Mark could feel Jackson’s desire and somehow that made him eager to move with Jackson.

Mark clung his arms around Jackson’s neck, drew him close to his body. Jackson gasped in his mouth, clearly not expecting this kind of response from Mark. But because of that, the kiss became more urgent than before. Jackson licked at Mark’s bottom lips and his husband _moaned_. He moaned and parted his lips slightly. Mark clutched Jackson’s hair as Jackson slipped his tongue into Mark’s mouth. Jackson used his knees to spread his husband’s legs and slotted himself between them.

 

“Jiaer!”

 

As Mark sucked in air, Jackson trailed his lips down his throat again, sucking and biting. Mark cried out at one particularly harsh bite and he was sure it would bruise.

 

“ _Mine_ ,” he growled as he made another mark on Mark’s skin. “You’re mine.”

 

Mark’s body shivered in delight at the sound of his husband’s voice. He sounded possessive and Mark strangely felt loved and cherished by it. But then, Jackson accidentally rolled his hip and Mark let out a loud gasp. Jackson’s movement immediately stopped. His body froze and Mark could feel his hot breath on his neck.

 

He cursed. “ _Fuck_. Yien, I’m sorry.”

 

For a moment Mark didn’t say anything, trying to catch his breath. When Jackson tried to move his body off of Mark, he stopped him.

 

“Don’t,” he whispered. Jackson’s body shook so hard Mark worried that he might hyperventilate. “Don’t, Jiaer.”

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” he sounded so torn and Mark’s heart ached. He didn’t like to hear his husband sounded guilty like that. Mark didn’t know what’s gotten to him but he cradled Jackson’s head in his hands, stroking his hair softly.

 

“It’s okay, Jiaer,” Mark whispered in his ear. “I’m okay.”

 

Jackson finally lifted his head from Mark’s neck. He looked so guilty.

 

“I’m sorry, Yien,” his voice broke. “I should have controlled myself.”

 

Mark shook his head disapprovingly. His cupped Jackson’s jaw and stoked it gently. Mark had to admit that Jackson surprised him a little but Mark found himself actually okay with that. Ever since Jackson knelt in front of him weeks ago and traditionally asked him to be his partner, Mark knew that this marriage wouldn’t be as bad as he thought. And he knew he was right when Jackson keep trying to make him comfortable around him. Mark knew he should consider himself lucky to have such a caring and thoughtful husband. A lot of couples who tied a knot due arranged married lived such a miserable life because they don’t love each other and couldn’t stand each other’s presence.

Mark didn’t love Jackson—not yet—but at least they were comfortable enough to touch and kiss each other. Mark opened up to Jackson pretty quickly and he didn’t even flinch when Jackson touch him. Sometimes he wondered how things could escalate quickly when it came to their relationship but it wasn’t like Mark was complaining.

Jackson was still in between his legs but Mark didn’t feel any discomfort. He was, as crazy as it sounded, okay with all of these. With Jackson, their marriage, and their relationship. With everything. 

 

“Are you hurt somewhere, baby?” he frowned and started to scan Mark’s body. His husband giggled.

 

“Jiear, I’m fine. It’s not like you punched me or something. I’m okay.”

 

“But, still—“

 

“No buts.”

 

Mark placed his finger on Jackson’s lip to shush him.

 

Jackson sighed in defeat. “Would you please slap me or punch me when I go too far? And you can always say no, Yien.”

 

Mark furrowed his brows. “Why would I? You’re my husband.”

 

Jackson stared down at Mark. He was quiet for so long. After a while he finally let out a long sigh.

 

“You really okay?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jackson’s lips finally curved into a small smile. “Breakfast?”

 

“Carry me?” Mark asked shyly.

 

Jackson laughed, loud and contagious. Mark couldn’t help but laugh along with him. That morning, Jackson carried Mark to the kitchen who attached his body on his husband’s arm like a baby koala.

 

* * *

 

Mark and Jackson did many things. They explored the small jungle on the island. They stargazed while talked in a hushed tone. In the morning, they sipped their coffee—hot chocolate made by Jackson himself for his partner because he prevented Mark to drink too much coffee—on the porch and watch the sun raised as they planned their day. They snorkeled almost every day. They even snorkeled at night to see the different reef creatures like starfish and colorful corals that come out after sunset. They snorkeled with those peaceful creatures on every reef they had the pleasure to view under water. They would float along and watch the turtles with their ancient eyes glide gracefully through the water or stop and chew on sea sponges directly underneath them, unphased by their presence.

They were going all day and although Mark was happy, at the end of the day Mark would be completely exhausted and once he did actually fall asleep right at the table and Jackson had to carry him to bed.

They did everything together. Since it was a private island, there were no other people there. Only housekeeping named Jared that came in the morning but would leave before they started breakfast. Mark almost never felt his presence because suddenly his world only revolved around Jackson. His husband was so loving, caring, and thoughtful. He had never received such type of love and affection from anyone else except his family.

Mark was happy. He was content. Their relationship was slowly growing. He remembered a night before his wedding day. His mother came to his room to tell him a few things about marriage. He said that trust and honesty were the highest forms of intimacy. His mother knew that it was too early for Mark to talk about love. Instead, he told Mark to be honest with his husband and started to trust him. Jackson even told him how important it was to always maintain a communication. He wanted Mark to try to be open about everything because Jackson would always be there for him. He promised that he would never leave Mark and always by his side. When Jackson told him those sensitive things while staring at Mark with a tender gaze, Mark couldn’t help but cry and Jackson ended up carrying him on his back on their way back to the bungalow.

One night after a very long day, Mark woke up in the middle of the night. It was raining. He was still tired but he couldn’t back to sleep. Mark decided to go to the kitchen to get some water. He hissed when his bare feet came in touch with the floor and that’s when he realized that he was clad in Jackson’s tee shirt which slid down, exposing his thigh. It was two sizes larger and hung loosely from his shoulder. Mark didn’t wear anything expect boxer and now he felt cold but too sleepy to grab his pants and just went straight to the kitchen.

When Mark stepped out of his room, he blinked his eyes because it was too bright. He forgot that Jackson never turned off the lights. He walked towards the fridge and took a bottle of water. He managed to take one sip before he heard footsteps behind him. He put the bottle on the counter and turned around.

 

“Gaga?” he called, his voice sounded raspy from sleep. Mark was starting to call his husband with his Chinese nickname three days ago because now he was more than comfortable around him.

 

But Jackson stood three feet away from Mark, unmoving. He looked stiff and Mark wondered what had happened to him. But then, he realized that Jackson was staring at his lower body boldly. Mark was suddenly feeling so insecure about his body. He bit his lips and tried to cover his thigh with his hands but Jackson’s voice beat him first.

 

“Don’t,” he said in a lower tone and now Mark was shivering because of completely different reason.

 

Jackson took three big strides and before Mark could move his body, Jackson was already caging him with his hands on the counter. Mark swallowed hard, his face growing hot. Jackson leaned down and pressed his face to Mark’s neck. He kissed a trail up to his throat and Mark shuddered.

 

“Yien,” he whispered under his jaw. Mark shivered when the rich, deep voice flooded his senses. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

 

Mark unconsciously gripped Jackson’s shoulder. His breath got stuck in his throat when Jackson pushed him onto the kitchen island. He effortlessly lifted Mark off the ground with his hands beneath his arms, his eyes never leaving Mark’s. Jackson crowded between Mark’s legs, spreading them open with his hands on Mark’s knees and then running them up his thighs, fingers dancing along his exposed thighs and making him shivered.

It’s obvious—the look in Jackson’s eyes; it was lust. But then he blinked and his eyes staring at Mark’s with so much tenderness. Even in this kind of situation, Jackson still had so much control over himself. His gentle touch told Mark that wasn’t going to force anything and that he would be completely okay even if Mark rejected him. He always considerate of Mark, not letting his desires carried him away.

But Mark felt hot. His body seemed to burn and now all he wanted was Jackson’s touch. He wanted his husband, terribly so.

 

“ _Please_ ,” Mark let out a whimper and he should feel embarrassed but his mind was clouded and he needed Jackson. “Jiaer, please kiss me.”

 

And Jackson lost it. He pressed his lips harshly against Mark’s, hard and hot. His lips moving so sensually that Mark felt his knees go weak. Mark’s hands moved to cup Jackson’s neck who now wrapped his arms around his partner’s waist, pulling him flush against his body. Mark couldn’t help but mewled into the kiss when he felt Jackson’s firm, warm body pressing against his. Jackson’s nipped at Mark’s lower lip and carefully slipped his tongue inside. Mark could feel shiver ran down his spine. His breathing became erratic, short, and shallow from every touch.

But then Jackson’s eyes were open and on his again. They breathe each other’s air for a moment, eyes glimmering and drinking in each other’s faces.

 

“Yien,” Jackson started, his voice broke.

 

But he didn’t say anything else. Mark clutched his fingers into the front of Jackson’s pajama and drawing him back to his mouth. Their lips met again and this time Jackson slipped his hands under Mark’s clothes and his partner whimpered when he felt Jackson’s fingertips skimming over his abdomen and then up his chest, briefly brushing against his nipples. Mark trembled, but it was not from the chill. Jackson didn’t stop kissing him but Mark was the one who had to break away, gasping for air.

 

“Ga-ga—“

 

Mark tried to breathe but Jackson’s lips didn’t leave his skin. They moved to his throat again, marking him and Mark’s body shuddered in delight. Mark was suddenly feeling brave and decided to wrap his ankles around Jackson’s waist and sliding his hand to his chest. His husband made a soft noise and he pulled his mouth back to Mark’s.  

Jackson’s large hand cupped his buttocks and gave it a firm squeeze and Mark moaned loudly in his husband’s mouth. Jackson was hard. Mark could feel it. But suddenly Jackson gripped his waist in a dead grip and broke the kiss.

 

Mark couldn’t help but whimper. “Gaga,”

 

“ _No_ ,” Jackson said, panting softly as he rested his forehead against his partner. “Yien, _no_.”

 

Mark bit his lips and moved his hands to touch his back, drawing small patterns with his fingers.

 

“Gaga—“

 

“Yien, _please_ ,” Jackson begged, his voice pained. “Stop me.”

 

Mark’s expression became puzzled. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“No. The opposite—you’re driving me crazy, Yien,” he explained, breathless.

 

Mark still couldn’t understand. He frowned. “Then, why? Why you asked me to stop you?”

 

Jackson picked up one of Mark’s hands and pressed it lightly to his face. He breathed the scene of Mark’s wrist and it made him blushed.

 

He hesitated before answering. “It’s just that you’re so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. It’s too hard to concentrate when you’re with me like this. I can’t think straight.”

 

Jackson waited for Mark to respond, growing anxious when Mark just stared at him without saying anything.  

 

“Are you scared?” he asked.

 

Mark blinked. His hands move to stroke through Jackson’s hair tenderly. His husband breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“It’s okay, Gaga,” Mark whispered reassuringly. “I’m fine.”

 

Jackson laid his head cautiously against Mark’s shoulder, breathing the smell of his skin. Mark could feel Jackson’s lips brushing lightly against it when he talked.

 

“I’m sorry, baby.” he hugged Mark’s waist with his strong hands. “We will not do anything more than this. Not until I can make you love me.”

 

Mark’s body grew stiff and Jackson unconsciously tightened his hold.

 

“You okay?”

 

Mark tried to breathe. “Yes.”

 

For a moment they just hugged each other without saying anything. When Mark was still young, he had learned that love was not something you could really look for, it wasn’t scripted. When you’re in love, you’re in love. You couldn’t really control it. His married with Jackson was something he didn’t expect would happen in his life but now, with Jackson still in his arms, for the first time Mark thought about the possibility to fell in love with his husband. And strangely he didn’t feel wrong or scared. Fell in love with Jackson sounded possible.

 

“Jiaer?” Mark called after a long silence.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Make me love you, please. I _want_ to love you.” He whispered, his heart thumped unsteadily.

 

Jackson gasped softly. He stared at Mark with open adoration and amazement. He was speechless for a moment like he could not believe that the creature in front of him was real and his—technically. He looked at Mark’s unwavering gaze and he knew his partner was serious. Jackson couldn’t contain his happiness when he pressed his lips against Mark’s, smiling into the kiss.

That night, Jackson kissed Mark’s lips tenderly and kept going until Mark’s heart was racing and his skin was flushed.

 

* * *

 

Mark wasn’t sure where exactly the memory turned into a dream. One moment it seemed that he was listening to Jackson’s voice, looking at his black eyes, and then a moment later he was alone in the darkness. Mark tried to reach out for something but there was nothing. He tried to find Jackson but it was so dark he couldn’t see anything. His body started to tremble and when he tried to call Jackson’s name, his husband was nowhere to be seen.  Mark began to panic. He tried to call Jackson’s name again but this time nothing came out from his mouth.

But then there was a light coming from behind him. When he turned around, he saw Jackson stood three feet away from him. Mark tried to walk but he couldn’t move his body. He tried to call Jackson but his husband couldn’t hear him. He just stood there, unmoving. Mark cries Jackson’s name out from the top of his lung when he saw Jackson started to fade away.

 

“Yien!”

 

Mark’s eyes flew open. He gasped aloud, feeling disoriented. After a while, he realized that he was lying in his warm bed, shivering and gasping. Mark blinked his eyes, trying to break free of the dream when suddenly there was a loud thunder coming from outside. Mark gasped again. He looked at the window. It was raining heavily outside.

When Mark was fully back to the reality, he found Jackson knelt down beside his bed. He was right in front of Mark, his face facing him. Mark could see his worried face under the dim light from his room.

 

“Yien, baby,” Jackson said worriedly. “What’s wrong?”  

 

Mark blinked at him, his head spinning. “It was just a dream.”

 

“Bad dream?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Was it really bad? Do you need something?” Jackson asked. He wiped the sweats from Mark’s forehead gently.

 

Mark’s trembling hands reached out for Jackson. He gripped his hands tightly.

 

“Come to bed with me?” he asked in a whisper. Jackson looked taken aback but he quickly climbed on the bed and lay next to him. Jackson pulled Mark on his chest, hugging him tightly.

 

“Stay,” Mark whispered, gripping Jackson’s shoulders and hugging himself closer to him. He unthinkingly kicked one leg free and wrapped it around his waist. “Don’t go anywhere.”

 

Jackson chuckled. “Like I could ever leave you.”

 

It was quiet for a long moment. Jackson just hugged Mark while his husband buried his face in Jackson’s chest. Jackson leaned down to press his cheeks to the top of his head. The only sound Mark heard was just the thud of his own heart, hammering against his chest, and the broken rhythm of his breath.

Mark opened his eyes and lifted his head. He found Jackson’s eyes were open too, staring at his face. Sometimes it made no sense when Jackson looked at him that way, like Mark was the most precious thing in the world.

Their gaze locked for a moment. His black eyes were so deep that Mark imagined he could see all the way into his soul. Jackson looked back at him as if he could see his soul too and as if he liked what he saw.

Suddenly, Mark felt the need to pull Jackson’s face to his again, to feel him and kiss him again. But it looked like Jackson could read his mind because the next he knew, his lips were on him again. Mark’s right hand locked into his black hair and his left pressed tighter against his chest. Jackson kissed him gently and as he wrapped his arms around him, Mark was able to breathe again. His nightmare was long forgotten and right now all he could think was Jackson.

Jackson slowly pulled back a little, their lips only inches apart. He smiled at his husband.

 

“You okay now?”

 

Mark blushed and refused to meet Jackson’s eyes. “Y-yes.”

 

“Good. Now, sleep. I’ll stay here until you asleep.”

 

“No,” Mark protested. His grip on Jackson’s shoulder tightened. “Stay, Gaga.”

 

“Yien—“

 

“Please?”

 

Mark looked at Jackson, silently begging him to stay. He bit his lips and Jackson knew he could never say no to his husband.

 

He sighed. “Okay.”

 

Suddenly something came to Mark’s mind.

 

“Will we sleep together once we’re back in Seoul?”

 

Jackson’s body became tense and Mark could feel it.

 

“No.” he answered shortly, his jaw tightened. Mark frowned. He didn’t like that idea.

 

“Why?”

 

“You know why.”

 

“I don’t,” he insisted.

 

He was silent for a moment. Then, in a low voice, he said. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. I want to give you freedom. And I want you to know that you can do whatever you want. I’m not going to restraint you. You deserve so much better after our grandparents forced you to marry such an old man like me.”

 

“Oh, Gaga,” Mark said in a soft voice. He caressed his face gently. “Stop blaming yourself. It’s not your fault.”

 

“But—“

 

“Ssh,” Mark shushed him gently. “Did you forget what I told you just hours ago? I wanted you to make me love you, Gaga. I want things to work out between us.”

 

Jackson closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Mark’s.

 

Mark held him close. “Gaga, I’m not afraid.”

 

“I am,” he whispered.

 

“Don’t be,” Mark took a deep breath and smiled at his husband. “We’ll be fine.”

 

“Yien…”

 

Mark pressed his lips to Jackson to stop him talking further, silently telling him that everything would be okay as long as they have each other. Mark didn’t like to see how his husband sounded really insecure. Although they only had been together for a couple of weeks, he had done so many things for Mark. He always treated Mark with so much respect and he was so caring and loving. Mark didn’t know when it started but he wasn’t hesitant anymore. He was ready to start his life with Jackson.

 

“We are in this together, okay? Things will work out between us.” Mark pressed himself to Jackson even tighter. “Promise me?”

 

“Okay,” he promised and leaned down to press a small kiss on Mark’s nose.

 

Mark yawned and Jackson chuckled.

 

“You’re tired. Sleep, baby.”

 

“You’ll be here when I wake up, right?”

 

He smiled. “Yes.”

 

Jackson started humming a lullaby for him. That night Mark dreamt about him and Jackson snorkeled under the sea with corals and starfish and felt so content just to be with him.

 

* * *

 

The sun, hot on the bare skin of Mark’s back, woke him in the morning. Late morning, maybe afternoon, he wasn’t so sure. But he remembered that today was the last day of their honeymoon. Mark didn’t want to open his eyes. He was so happy to change anything, no matter how small. The only sound he heard was the wind outside, someone’s breath, someone’s heartbeat. Someone’s—wait.

Mark finally opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust his vision. When he sobered enough to think, Mark realized that he wasn’t sleeping alone. He was lying across Jackson’s chest comfortably. Jackson’s arms wounded around him, felt very easy and natural. His fingers softly trailed down the contours of Mark’s spine and Mark knew that Jackson knew he was awake. Mark kept his eyes shut and tightened his arms around his neck, holding himself closer to his husband.

Mark would be happy to lay here forever, to never disturb this moment. But his body betrayed him and Jackson laughed when Mark’s stomach glowed.

 

“Is my baby finally hungry?” Jackson teased him. Mark could feel a blush color his face and neck.

 

And to answer Jackson’s question, Mark’s stomach glowed again. Mark whined.

 

“I want pancakes.”

 

Jackson chuckled. “Well, let’s feed your impatient stomach then.”

 

Mark and Jackson spent their last day on Wang Island packing their bags—well actually Jackson did most of the job because he didn’t want his husband tired. Mark pouted from across the couch, watching Jackson moving back and forth. His husband winked teasingly at him and Mark almost threw a pillow on his face.

Their last day on Wang Island went smoothly. Mark still couldn’t believe that their honeymoon came to an end so quickly. The next day, they came back to Seoul and moved to their new house.

It was actually a penthouse—it looked so big and luxurious. Jackson said they would live there alone, just the two of them. Since Mark couldn’t cook, Jackson would be in charge of cooking. He promised would make a breakfast every morning before he goes to work and would come home before dinner. Mark protested and said that he would learn how to cook. Jackson reassured him that it would be completely all right even though Mark couldn’t cook. All he wanted was Mark to be happy and comfortable in their new house.  Mark just sighed in defeat but he was determined to learn to be a good husband for Jackson.

The first thing that Mark did after he got home was calling his mother. After Jackson led him to their new room and told him to take a rest, Mark lay comfortably on his bed with his phone against his ear.

 

“ _Hello? Mark, baobei?_ ”

 

“Mom~”

 

His mother squealed. “ _Oh my god, baby! I missed you so much!_ ”

 

“Me too, mom,” 

 

Now that Mark was away from home, he realized just how much he missed his family. He tried to blink the tears from his eyes.

 

His mother sighed. “ _How was your honeymoon, baobei? Was everything fine?_ ”

 

Mark thought about the time he had spent with Jackson for a whole week in Wang Private Island and instantly smiled. His days were full of good memories.

 

“It’s… perfect, mom.”

 

“ _Oh, baobei_ ,” his mother sounded like he was on the verge of crying. “ _I’m so, so happy for you._ ”

 

Mark hugged his pillow to his chest. His eyes started to water and he hated how emotional he was. “Mom, I missed you so much.”

 

“ _Me too, baby,_ ” his mother’s voice broke but he quickly changed the mood. “ _So, does Jackson do something inappropriate to you?_ ”

 

“Mom!” Mark shrieked. A blush creeping up on his neck and he buried his face in the pillow. “When did you become so vulgar like this? Mom, we didn’t do anything, okay?”

 

Jinyoung giggled. “ _Aw, baobei, don’t be shy._ ” 

 

“Mom, don’t tease me~!”

 

“ _Okay, okay_ ,” Jinyoung laughed. But then he turned serious. “ _Mark, does he make you happy?_ ”

 

His mother’s question caught Mark off guard. He wasn’t expecting his mother to ask him that. For a moment he was silent and his mother didn’t say anything, silently waiting for him.

Mark thought about the things they did together when they were on honeymoon. From their first encounter until now, Jackson never upset Mark. In fact, his husband was too caution and treated him ever so carefully like he was afraid he would accidentally break Mark.

Suddenly Jackson’s smiling face flashed into Mark’s mind and he knew the answer already.

 

“Yes,” Mark answered in a whisper. He clutched his pillow tightly. “Yes, mom. He makes me happy.”

 

“ _Oh, baby_ ,” Jinyoung was definitely crying right now. “ _I’m so glad to hear that. Mom and dad couldn’t stop worrying about you. We’re afraid you’re not happy._ ”

 

“I’m happy, mom,” Mark surprised himself by answering the question confidently. “I am. Don’t worry. I will visit you soon, mom.”

 

“ _Good. We can’t wait to see you again. And oh, Gyeomie has been sleeping in your room ever since you left._ ”

 

Mark’s heart clenched. “Oh, mom, please tell him I missed him so much.”

 

“ _I will, baby._ ”

 

They talked for a bit more before Mark told his mother goodbye.

Mark lay on his bed for a little bit longer, thinking about his marriage life. He wasn’t lying when he told his mother that he was happy. Jackson made him happy. When he was with Jackson, he felt something different. Mark never had this kind of feeling before. As his mind kept wandering, Mark realized that everything has changed completely the moment Jackson walked into his life.  

Little did he know, it was only the beginning.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark and Jackson spent their honeymoon on a private island because why not? lol


	3. Ebb and Flow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who's been waiting for this, I'm so sorry it took me for so long to update this story. Thank you so much for all your support. Feel free to say hi to me on twitter!^^

* * *

Mark woke up in the middle of the night, groggy and dazed. He was still tired but he couldn’t sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. The room was dark and Mark could barely see. He tried not to move and control his breathing. He didn’t want to wake his husband. It was their first night in their new house but he didn’t know why he felt troubled. A long time minute passed. Mark tried to concentrate on Jackson's breathing, hoping more sleep to come. He listened to his breath and strangely felt at ease. But then Jackson's warm arm was around him, under the covers, and his lips at his ear.

 

"Couldn't sleep?"

Mark gasped. His heart was crashing into his chest. He could feel Jackson's broad chest pressed against his back. He felt so strong and warm.

"Yes," he whispered.

Jackson hummed.

"Should I sing you to sleep?"

Mark laughed.

"Okay. Try then."

 

Mark could feel Jackson's breathe in his neck and it took everything in him not to squirm. Jackson started to hum a melody he didn't recognize: it did sound like a lullaby. He waited, but it didn't work. He still couldn't sleep. His husband stopped.

 

"Still couldn't sleep?"

"I don't want to sleep yet."

"So if you don't want to sleep..." he trailed off.

"If I don't want to sleep...?"

Jackson chuckled.

"What do you want to do then, Yien?"

 

Mark couldn't answer at first. He wasn't so sure. Suddenly, Jackson pulled his body so they could lie face to face. Mark's breath caught when Jackson sliding his nose along his jaw, inhaling.

 

Mark bit his lip.

"Jiaer..."

"Yes, baby?"

"I've decided what I want to do," he told him. "I want to hear more about you."

 

Jackson chuckled and then sighed. He was smiling. Mark could feel it.

 

“All right. Ask me anything.”

“Did you reject it at first, our arranged marriage?” he asked the most vital question without thinking it twice. “I still don't know the reason why you agreed to marry me. Please don't misunderstand. Of course I'm glad that we're married now. I'm just curious.”

Jackson's breath hitched.

“You're glad?”

Mark tried to reach out for Jackson's hand in the darkness. His husband sensed his movement and quickly locked their fingers.

“Yes, I am.” he answered in a soft voice. “So, did you reject it?”

 

Jackson was hesitated before answering the question.

 

“No,” he answered in a firm voice. “I didn't. I know my answer would make you even more confused but for now, I can only say that I didn't reject this arranged marriage. I agreed from the very beginning. I know a lot about you, you know. Let's just say I did my research before I met you. And yes, I'm glad too. I'm glad it's you who became my husband, my life partner.”

Mark lay unmoving, locked in awed silence.

“Did you fall asleep, baby?” Jackson asked after a few minutes.

“No.” he whispered.

“Is there anything else you were curious about?”

Mark chuckled.

“Not quite.”

“What else do you want to know?”

“You're totally fine with my age? I mean, I'm eighteen and inexperience.”

 

Jackson laughed, low and deep. Something touched his hair—Jackson's finger? Mark wished he could see him better but he didn't want to move to turn on the lamp.

 

“No. Not at all. If anything, I'm glad you're eighteen and inexperience."

Mark frowned. “Why?”

“Because that way we can learn together, baby. I'm old, yes. But that doesn't mean I'm good at this. There's still a lot to learn. We still have to learn about each other.”

“You're not that old. You’re 28.”

 

A pause.

 

"You know," Jackson whispered. “It should be my question. Are you fine with my age? I'm old. I bet there are a lot of handsome guys in college. Young and fresh and boyish.”

Mark chuckled, moving a little closer to his husband. He brought his hand to his face, stroking his cheek gently. Mark could feel his eyes on him.

“No,” he said. “I don't mind at all. I’m just glad it’s you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

Mark wanted to touch him more, to feel his breath against his skin, and his lips. Oh god, Mark wanted to kiss him again. But he was shy and scared to make the first move. The thoughts made him blushed. The darkness was no help and Mark was pretty sure Jackson could feel the sudden warmth under his skin.

 

“Are you ready to sleep, baby?” he asked, interrupting the short silence. “Or do you have any more questions?”

“For now, no.”

“Okay then.”

 

Jackson smiled. He pulled Mark's body until they were chest to chest. His arms around Mark's waist, holding him close. But then he bent his head down and touched his lips softly to the hollow at the base of Mark's throat.

 

“You ready to sleep?” he murmured against his skin.

Mark struggled to concentrate. “No.”

“No?”

Jackson's nose drew a line up the skin of his throat to the point of his chin. His warm breath tickled Mark's skin.

“What do you want to do now?”

Jackson's lips whispered against his jaw. He kissed his cheek, stopping just at the corner of Mark's mouth.

“Can I kiss you, Yien?” his lips barely brushed against Mark's trembling lower lip.

“Yes, Jiaer,” Mark breathed. “Yes, please.”

 

Jackson took Mark's face in his hands gently and kissed him in earnest. Mark sighed into their kiss. His arms reached up to twine tightly around his neck and suddenly Jackson was on top of him, spreading his legs open and slotted himself between them. Mark parted his lips and when Jackson’s tongue touched his, he moaned. At the sound, Jackson moved his hands under Mark’s shirt and deepened the kiss.

If Mark had his way, he would spend the majority of his time kissing Jackson. There wasn't anything he'd experienced in his life that compared to the feeling of his warm lips, hard but always so gentle, moving with his. No one ever kissed him like Jackson before. And no one ever touched him like this, like he was made of glass. Jackson always touched him gently, carefully, and full of caution.

So it surprised Mark a little when Jackson's finger braided themselves into his hair, securing his face to his. One hand slid down Mark's back, pressing him tighter against his chest. Mark's arms locked behind his neck. Every touch made Mark shiver—it was a shiver of pleasure, of happiness, of something new, something he'd never experienced before.

Lust. Desire.

Unconsciously, Mark rolled his hips, making Jackson grunt and tightened his grip on Mark’s waist, holding him still.

 

“Yien,” the warning in Jackson’s voice only turned up the flame on the slow in his belly, spreading to the south.

Mark moved against him again.

“ _Please_ ,” he begged, gripping Jackson’s arm tightly. “Please, Jiaer. Touch me.”

 

Jackson pulled away, his lips were taut. His eyes met with Mark’s, dark and hungry. It was something he’d never seen before. But Jackson still didn’t budge and Mark knew his self-control began to crumble.

 

“Stop me now before I can’t control myself.”

 

Jackson pulled away—that was his automatic response whenever he felt like things would go too far or he wanted to keep going but knew he couldn’t. He always restrained himself when he was around Mark. But right now, Mark didn’t want him to stop. Ever. Instead, he arched against him, eliciting a rough groan from deep in his chest that reverberated through his.

 

“No,” Mark reached for his face, pulling him down to kiss him again. “Don’t stop, Jiaer.”

Jackson growled, deep and dangerous. He was always cool, calm, and utterly in control. But that control was being tested now. Mark could see it in the line of tension between his eyes.   

“You’re the death of me, Wang Yien,” he murmured against the hollow base of his throat where his pulse pounded frantically.

“ _Please_ —“

“Ssh, stop begging, baby,” he trailed a wet kiss up his jaw. “I will give you everything you want. You don’t have to beg.”

 

Jackson’s mouth covered his again and Mark felt like he was floating because his husband kissed like heaven on earth. Mark whimpered when Jackson broke the kiss to strip off his shirt, tossing it aside. Feeling brave, Mark did the same to his husband. He looked at him and lost even more air. Jackson was sheer of perfection, all perfectly toned muscles. He was hard, strong, and rippling with power.

Mark brought his hand to his chest, feeling his frantic heartbeat under his hand. His fingertips brushed slightly against his nipple and from above, Jackson hissed in a sharp breath. Mark licked his lips, a nervous little gesture.

 

“Touch me, Jiaer.” He whispered with so much want, desire, and Jackson lost it.

 

Drawing in a sharp breath, Jackson threaded his hands through his hair and tipped his head up a little to kiss him. It was long and wet and deep as Jackson’s hand moved to tease Mark’s nipple, flicking it lightly. Mark gasped into the kiss, unconsciously grinding against his crotch. And he moaned loudly into their kiss because it felt so good. Mark could feel how hard Jackson was through his sweatpants and Mark grinded down against him again, faster this time. It aroused him. He aroused him.  

 

“Move with me, Jiear.” He whimpered. “ _Move_.” 

In response, Jackson hesitantly grinded back against him, rough and hard. Mark broke the kiss, throwing his head back and moaned even louder. His husband moved his face to bite and suck at his neck.

“Off,” he said, stripping off Mark’s sweatpants and boxer together.

 

And here Mark was.

Bare.

Wet.

Sweaty.

Jackson stopped all his movement and stared at him in awe. Mark suddenly felt self-conscious of his body. He tried to cover himself but Jackson stopped his hand and brought it to his lips instead, kissing his knuckles gently.

 

“What did I say, baby?” he hummed. “Beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Jackson’s hands were on his hips, holding him steady, his thumbs gliding down his quivering belly.

“Beautiful,” he murmured.

Mark blushed. He couldn’t bring himself to answer him. But he nodded, his heart pounding in his ears, his breath caught in his throat.

It took Mark a moment to get enough breath to speak.

 

“Are you going to just look, Jiaer?”

Jackson laughed softly. Mark wanted to warn him to stop laughing but the words backed up in his throat when Jackson dropped to his knees.

Mark let out a startled gasp. “Wait, Jiaer—“

 

But Jackson already pressed his mouth to his hip bone. His warm breath caressing him, feeling his mouth against his skin made him shudder in delight, making him moan. But Mark never had someone down there before. His hands went to Jackson’s hair, trying to pull him up.

 

“Jiear, no—“

“Baby, spread your legs.”

Mark whimpered in embarrassed. “But—“

“Spread your legs.”

 

He sounded so sexy when he demanded like that and Mark couldn’t help but spread his legs wider. Jackson wedged his broad shoulders between his thighs, getting up close to all his secrets. A deep groan wrenched from his throat.

 

“Yien, you are so... wet. God, you're beautiful.”

 

Mark felt his skin flushed. He didn't know how to take compliments like that. And he was breathless now, with Jackson holding his legs open, watching him with such avid fascination. His chest tightened, he almost couldn't breathe.

 

“Jiear, I— _ah!_ “

He couldn't finish his sentence when Jackson licked the moisture between his legs. He gasped, feeling his body went rigid.

“Breathe, baby. Breathe.” he murmured against his skin.

 

Mark tried to breathe. But then he moaned when Jackson's tongue touched his entrance, making him tremble, and making his toes curl. He closed his eyes, feeling new sensation washed over him when Jackson's tongue went deeper, as deep as he could.

But then Jackson stopped. Mark couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from his lips, feeling lost and empty. Jackson shushed him with a kiss. And Mark could feel himself in Jackson’s lips and it _aroused_ him even more. Jackson successfully distracted him and suddenly he trailed a cold and wet finger over him, and ever so slowly slid into him.

 

“ _Jiaer!_ ” he gasped, breaking their kiss.

Jackson thrust his finger deeper, working him open. He moved his lips down his chest, sucking his nipple. Mark couldn’t think. He felt overwhelmed and full and he felt like he could explode anytime soon.

Mark rocked his hips instinctively when Jackson added another finger in. He cried out, arching against him when Jackson’s finger touched a sweet spot inside him, making him light-headed.

 

“ _Jiaer_ ,” he gasped, feeling something inside him was about to burst.

“It’s okay, baby.” he kissed the corner of his mouth, sliding in the third finger with deliberate slowness. “It’s okay.”

Slow.

Easy.

With ease.

Driving him out of his mind and Jackson didn’t even touch his hard erection. Mark pulled Jackson up, kissing him to the point of madness. He didn’t know that he could feel like this, desperately needed a release.

 

“Jiear, I-m—“ he struggled to talk.

“Come, baby. It’s okay. Come.”

 

Jackson pushed his fingers to the hilt and Mark screamed as the orgasm hit him hard and utterly unexpectedly. He shuddered, digging his nails into Jackson’s back. And he came _untouched_.

For a moment, there was such incredible heaven. He couldn’t move, still trying to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, Jackson was on top of him, looking at him fondly.

 

“You okay, baby?”

Since words were still beyond him, Mark could only nod. But then he blushed furiously when he realized what just happened. Jackson chuckled. He bent down to kiss Mark's sweaty forehead.

“Let’s sleep.”

Jackson slumped beside Mark. He pulled him against his chest, tucking him under his chin.

“But, Gaga, you didn’t…”

“I did.” He said.

Mark looked up at him with wide eyes, surprised. He bit his lips nervously.

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“But… how…”

Jackson chuckled. He didn't answer at first. His fingers moved up and down his back, lightly tracing patterns on his skin. But then he sighed deeply.

“If you had any idea what you did to me, Yien.” He murmured softly. 

 

Mark could feel his lips brushing lightly against his hair. He blushed, knowing perfectly what his husband meant. He wrapped his arm around Jackson’s neck, nuzzling his face in his throat. He kissed it lightly.

 

“Thank you, Gaga.” He whispered.

Jackson tightened his hug.

“Anything for you, baby,” he said. “Now, sleep. I will clean you up later.”

Mark nodded.

“Good night, Gaga.”

Jackson kissed his forehead.

“Good night, baby.”

 

* * *

 

Mark slept dreamlessly last night. He woke up to the bright yellow light of a sunny day that peeking through the curtains. He blinked his eyes and realized that he wasn't alone. Suddenly Mark was aware of Jackson's breath brushing against his neck, sending whispers of electricity through his skin.

Mark’s eyes widen when he realized that he was still naked. Jackson’s body pressed against his bare back. His husband still in deep slumber, Mark could tell from his breathing, but then he felt something hard poking his lower back and he knew what it was: Jackson’s morning wood. 

He could feel a blush color his face and his neck. The heat from Jackson’s skin burned right through his skin as he unconsciously pulled Mark closer. Jackson let out a small grunt in his sleep when Mark accidentally grinded his backside down into his morning erection. He gasped, feeling how hard it was.

They were close. Too close.

 

“Good morning, baby.” Jackson said, the sound of his voice, deep and husky, brought back the memories of last night and Mark’s body instantly flushed.

“M-morning, Gaga.” He couldn’t help but stutter. 

Jackson kissed his neck lightly.

“I’m sorry about… this.” He said awkwardly, releasing Mark’s body. “I’m going to shower.”

 

Jackson was quick to get off the bed. When he finally stepped into the bathroom, he let out a deep breathe. Needing a warm shower, he stripped and stood beneath the spray. Pressing his palms to the tile wall, he dropped his head and let the water bead over his aching neck and shoulder. He let out a sigh as his lower body finally softened.

 

“Gaga?”

 

Jackson’s body froze. He turned around and his breath hitched when he found Mark right there, standing only three feet away from him, still naked. He looked at Jackson with his half-lidded eyes and Jackson could feel a sudden pulsing heat in his groin. He tried to hard not to moan.

 

“Baby, what are you doing here?“ he asked, trying so hard not to lose his control over himself. 

 

Mark walked toward Jackson with such confident, something Jackson hadn’t seen before. Jackson sucked in a breath and instantly went still when Mark put his hand oh his chest, traveling down to his waist and finally found its way to the south. Jackson groaned softly when Mark finally touched him. Mark wrapped his fingers around the base of his length, feeling it slowly growing again.  

 

Jackson shuddered. “Baby, don’t—“  

“But I want to touch you.” he whispered, nipping at his chin.

Jackson was breathing hard now. He moaned when Mark gave him a gentle squeeze. Now both of them were standing beneath the spray with the hot water raining down over them.

“Let me touch you, Jiaer.”

 

Jackson grabbed Mark’s face and gave him a smacking kiss. His hands went immediately to Mark's ass, squeezing it roughly. Mark let out a shaky moan, his legs started to wobble. Jackson's grip tightened on his and he nipped his bottom lip. Mark heard a ragged moan and realized it was his own.  

Jackson pushed Mark’s back against the tile wall, caging him. He deepened their connection to an intense tangle of tongues that would have had Mark sliding to the floor if Jackson's arms hadn't been banded tightly around him.

Jackson thrusted his hips forward, breaking their kiss with a moan. Mark fastened his pace, keeping his eyes focused on his husband as he moved his fingers up and down his length.

 

“I’m close, baby.”

 

Jackson had both of his eyes closed. He struggled to breathe and then Mark pressed his mouth to his again, giving him air. Jackson groaned into their kiss as Mark continued to pump him, harder now and faster. Jackson could feel it began deep inside, racing through his body and his arms trembled. He dropped his head with a rough groan, burying his face in the curve of Mark’s neck as he completely lost himself. 

It took Jackson a moment to finally recover. He looked up and found Mark staring at him with a flushed face. He chuckled and gave him a quick kiss on his lips.

 

“Thank you, baby. You’re amazing.”

Mark blushed.

“I-I just want to return the favor.”

Jackson stroked his cheek gently. He smiled.

“Next time you don’t have to do that. Okay, baby?”

Mark nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you want to shower together?”  

 

Mark nodded again. That morning they enjoyed a long, warm shower together.

 

* * *

 

Mark was eating his food in the cafeteria when his friends from the same department as him came. Kihyun and Minhyuk put their food tray on the table and sat in front of him.

 

“Hey,” Mark greeted them. “How’s your class?”

Minhyuk groaned.

“Miss Jane is annoying,” he said, stuffing a spoon of kimchi to his mouth. “She gave us quiz this morning, out of the blue, like always. I hate her.”

“You need to pay attention in her class,” Kihyun added. “Her grammar class is important you know.”

Mark chuckled.

“I will help you, Minhyuk-ah. Don’t worry.”

Minhyun whined.

“Easy for you to say. You’re good in English. I can’t. I hate English.”

Kihyun slapped the back of Minhyuk’s head lightly.

“Well, you chose English as your major so quit whining.”

 

Kihyun and Minhyuk started to bicker like they always did. Mark thought about his marriage and felt so bad for not telling his closest friends about it. He didn’t invite them on his wedding day, didn’t tell them anything about Jackson. It was his decision to keep his marriage as a secret but now looking at his friend’s faces made him wanted to spill everything. He wanted to tell them about how happy he was with Jackson, with his married life.

When the time was right, he would tell them.

 

“Mark, are you okay?”

He blinked when Kihyun snapped his fingers in front of his face. He cleared his throat and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Hey,” Minhyuk chimed. “Do you know that Jackson Wang is now officially off the market?”

 

Kihyun gasped.

Mark almost choked on his food. He looked at Mihyun with wide eyes, terrified and shocked as hell.

 

“ _What?!_ ” Kihyun’s jaw dropped. “No way!”

Minhyuk groaned. “Where have you been, Kihyun? The news is everywhere. He is married now. I’m heartbroken.”

 

Mark couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. His ears started to ring. What was happening now? His friends knew Jackson? They knew that he’s married now? But, how?

 

“Who’s his wife?”

Wait. What?

Mark looked at his friends who didn’t seem to realize his panic state.

Minhyuk sighed. “I don’t know. It’s a very private wedding. He’s married now, but that’s all. Not even a glimpse of his wedding ceremony.”

 

Mark started to tremble. His husband was a well-known businessman. Of course people would know that he’s married now. But Mark didn’t know that Jackson was popular among the public. Even his friends knew him.

Suddenly the thoughts made Mark’s stomach lurched. Jackson was his husband but there’s still so much Mark didn’t know about him.

 

“Whoever that girl is,” Kihyun said. “She is so lucky to marry a man like Jackson Wang. I mean, he’s perfect!”

Mark gripped his spoon tightly until his knuckle turned white. _He’s my husband!_

“I know, right? Maybe his wife is a model. Tall, fair skin, skinny, long black shiny hair.”

 

Mark wanted to cry right now. No, his wife was not a model. His wife wasn’t tall, fair skin, skinny, and long black shiny hair. His wife was Mark: a plain university student. His height was average, not too short but not so tall either. He was indeed skinny but he didn’t have curves and he didn’t have long black shinny hair. He wasn’t a girl. He was a guy.

His appetite was gone just to think about it. His friends were right. Jackson was perfect. He was a successful businessman at such a young age and he was a gentleman.

What if this arranged marriage never happened? Jackson would never marry someone like him, someone so plain who didn’t have charm at all. He wasn’t attractive and he was a guy. Did Jackson like girls? Did he prefer to marry a girl if their grandparents didn’t set a marriage for them?

 

“Mark, what’s wrong?”

He jumped lightly on his seat when Kihyun touched his hand. He looked up and found his friends looking at him worriedly.

“What?”

“You seem off,” Minhyun said. “Is everything all right?”

Mark swallowed.

“Yes.”

“Anyway, do you know Jackson Wang?” Kihyun asked, quickly changing the topic.

Mark could feel the tears in the corner of his eyes. He shook his head.

“No, I don’t know who he is.” he replied in a low voice.

 

Mark looked down at his food, feeling his chest tightened inside. He didn’t deserve someone like Jackson. He didn’t deserve him at all.

 

* * *

 

When Mark arrived at home, it was late and Jackson was already home. He quietly entered the house and found his husband in the kitchen, cooking for dinner. For a moment Mark just stood there, looking at his broad shoulder. He still couldn’t stop thinking about his conversation with his friends. Jackson should have married a girl, a model, someone who was better than Mark. He couldn’t help but feel a sharp pang of jealousy.

He didn’t want it. He didn’t want Jackson to marry a girl, a model, someone who was better than him, someone who wasn’t him. It’s hard to imagine Jackson with someone else. Even thinking about that hurt him.

 

“Yien, you’re home. I didn’t hear you.”

 

Mark blinked. He found his husband staring at him but he couldn't bring himself to talk. He was filled with too many strong emotions. Jealousy. Sadness. Anger. He knew it was ridiculous and irrational but the negative thoughts kept shoving their way to his head. He knew Jackson was now his husband. But what if he had a chance to choose his wife? Would he choose Mark?  

 

“Yien, what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

But Mark just looked at him. His eyes brimmed with tears. Jackson was quick to turn off the stove. He took big steps toward Mark, standing right in front of him.

“Baby?” Jackson wrapped his arms around Mark, shaking him gently. “Are you all right?”

 

Mark shook his head, tears overflowed from his eyes without warning, gushing down his face.

“Yien,” Jackson asked, alarmed now. “What’s wrong?”

He wiped the tears from Mark’s cheek with his fingers.

“Nothing,” Mark said but he couldn’t contain the loud sob that broke in his voice. Jackson looked so worried now.

“Did something bad happen? Baby, you know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I’m okay. It’s nothing, really.”

 

Mark shook his head again, scrubbing the back of his hand against his swollen eyes. He was emotional and he felt ridiculous now.  

 

“I’m okay.” He repeated. His voice broke a little bit more.

“Then why are you crying?” Jackson asked, frustrated.

“Because… because—“

 

Mark couldn’t finish his sentence. He wailed, throwing his arms around Jackson’s neck in a chokehold and sobbing into his throat.

 

“Baby, please, look at me.” Jackson urged. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I…” Mark trailed off, pulling back to look at his husband’s worried face with tear-filled eyes.

Mark stared at him and the negative thoughts quickly consumed him again. They agreed to make this marriage work. Last night said he didn’t regret anything. He didn’t reject this arranged married. Jackson also promised him that he would make Mark love him.

But why his heart still felt so hurt right now?

 

“Yien, tell me.” Jackson pleaded, eyes wild with worry at the pain in Mark’s voice.

But Mark couldn’t tell him. Instead, he clutched his arms around Jackson’s neck again and locked his mouth into Jackson’s lips, kissing him desperately. It wasn’t desire at all—it was need, acute to the point of pain. Jackson tried to push Mark as gentle as he could.

 

“Baby, stop.”

Mark’s arms dropped, defeated. A new sob rising in his throat.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

Jackson pulled Mark against his chest, hugging his husband tightly.

“You making me crazy, Yien,” he sighed. “Is there anything I can do for you to make you feel better?”

Mark closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears.

“I want to go home. I miss Yugyeomie.”

Jackson sighed. He kissed the top of his head.

“Okay. I will take you home then.”

 

* * *

 

Jackson turned off the engine when they were finally in front of Mark’s house. He took one of Mark’s hands, intertwining their fingers.

 

“Are you really okay?” he asked, still worried.

Mark nodded and smiled.

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to come inside with you?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I’m not going to stay the night. Come on.”

“Okay.”

 

Jackson held Mark’s hand tightly when they stood in front of the door, waiting someone to open it. A few seconds later, Yugyeom showed up in front of them. He gasped when he saw Mark.

 

“Hyung!”

He pulled Mark against his chest, hugging him so tight he could barely breathe.

“I missed you so much, hyung.”

Mark chuckled, hugging him back as tight.

“I missed you too, Gyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom squeezed Mark once more before releasing him. He turned to Jackson and smiled.

“Hello, hyung. Nice to see you again.”

Jackson returned the smile.

“Yeah. Nice to see you too, Yugyeom-ah. Where’s Ma and Pa?”

“Come on in. They’re in the kitchen.”

 

Jackson didn’t protest when Yugyeom dragged Mark inside, leaving him behind. His husband seemed happy the moment he stepped into the house. And it felt good to see him happy, although Jackson was still confused and worried. He knew something was off with him but he didn’t want to push Mark. He would wait until he came to him, telling him whatever it was that bothered him. For now, as long as his husband didn’t look miserable, it was enough for him.

 

“Mom, look who’s here!”

Jinyoung and Jaebum looked up at the same time. They gasped when they saw Mark, their reaction was pretty much the same like Yugyeom.

“Mark, baobei!”

Mark laughed as his mother dropped the knife he was holding and ran to him. Jinyoung’s eyes brimmed with tears when he hugged his oldest son.

“My baby,” he cooed. “I missed you so much.”

“Me too, mom.”

 

Jinyoung pulled back, smiling at him. Mark laughed when his mother started to shower his face with kisses.

 

“Mom, stop! It tickles!”

Jinyoung laughed with him but he didn’t stop. Finally Jaebum stepped in between the two.

“Honey, I need to hug my baby too.”

Mark groaned.

“Dad, not you too.”

But Jaebum already pulled him against his chest, kissing his forehead gently. He didn’t say anything, just hugging Mark silently. Mark wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his head in his father’s chest.

“I miss you, dad.” He whispered, feeling so warm and safe in his father’s embrace.

“Me too.” Jaebum whispered back.

 

Jackson was there, silently watching his husband. He smiled fondly when Jaebum squeezed Mark’s cheeks in his hands, making him look chubby. He was busy staring at his husband that he didn’t realize Jinyoung approached him.

 

“Sseun-ah.” He called softly.

Jackson blinked at his mother in law and smiled. He hugged Jinyoung and kissed his cheek.

“Ma, how are you?”

“I’m good, honey.” He said. “Are you and Mark okay?”

“Yes, we are.” It wasn’t completely a lie.

“Good, then.”

“Don’t worry, Ma. I will take care of him.”

Jinyoung smiled. “I know you will.”

 

A pause.

Both of them silently watching Mark helped Jaebum cooking. Yugyeom clung to his back, hugging him from behind. They watched as Mark tried to move with Yugyeom following him like a puppy.

 

“Sseun-ah,” Jinyoung started slowly. “Are you happy, honey?”

Jackson turned to Jinyoung. His mother in law had a smile on his face. He looked so gentle and soft.

Without hesitation, Jackson answered, “Yes, Ma. I’m happy.”

“That’s good, honey. I’m happy for you, too.”

 

* * *

 

 

After they had finished dinner, Mark dragged Yugyeom upstairs meanwhile Jackson was downstairs with his parents. He went to his room and felt like home as soon as he entered it.

He was gone for almost two weeks but it felt like years. He climbed on his bed, clutching one of his pillows against his chest.

 

“Is something wrong?” Yugyeom suddenly asked.

Mark looked at him, bewildered.

“What?”

“Spill it.”

“What are you talking about?”

Yugyeom sighed. He locked the door before walked toward his brother, sitting next to him.

“ _Hyung_ , I know something is wrong.”

 

Mark sighed. He should have known that his brother could see through him. He was like an open book for Yugyeom. But what should he say? There was a lot going on his mind right now. He didn’t know how to start.

 

“Yugyeom-ah,” he started. “What do you know about Jackson?”

Yugyeom frowned.

“Jackson?”

“Yes.”

“Well, not much.” He said. “I know he’s famous. He is one of the richest businessmen in China. His family is very well-known. His face shows up on the magazine from time to time. Mom has all his magazines you know.”

Mark’s jaw dropped.

“ _What?_ ”

“You didn’t know that?”

Of course Mark didn’t know that. He knew nothing about his husband.

“Apparently not only he is a rich businessman, but he’s also young, hot, and attractive.”  

Mark lowered his head.

“Oh.”

 

Mark bit his lower lips, feeling even worse than before. He couldn’t help but feel insecure. Yugyeom sensed his distress and quickly took Mark’s hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

“Hyung, what’s wrong?”

Mark shook his head. He felt like crying right now.

“It’s just… I feel like I’m nothing compared to him. Jackson is perfect and I’m just me. I feel like I don’t deserve him, Yugyeom-ah.”

“Hyung, look at me.”

 

Mark hesitantly looked at his brother.

 

“Don’t think so low of yourself. Hyung, do you even realize the look in Jackson’s eyes every time he sees you?”

Mark shook his head. Yugyeom sighed.

“It’s like you’re his world, his central universe.” He said softly.

Mark blushed. “It’s not like that.”

Yugyeom chuckled.

“Well, you can’t see it but we can.”

“But—“

“No buts.” Yugyeom cut him off. “Do you trust Jackson hyung?”

Mark nodded.

“Then believe him, hyung. He is your husband. He is yours. Nobody can’t take him from you.”

 

Mark knew he was just being irrational. Jackson made it clear that he didn’t regret married to Mark. He was such a caring and loving husband. Their marriage life was actually good. They didn’t shy away from skin ships. In fact, Jackson was a very protective and a bit possessive husband. And he always put Mark before himself.

Yugyeom was right. Jackson was his husband. They’re married now. And honestly, there wasn’t any reason to doubt his husband. Mark trusted him. He knew Jackson would never hurt him.

 

“You’re going to be okay, hyung.” He said, wrapping his arms around Mark’s shoulder.

Mark sighed. “Yeah. I hope so.”

“If he ever hurt you, I will kill him.”

Mark finally laughed.

“You’re taller than him but he’s stronger than you.”

Yugyeom snorted.

“I don’t care. Just call me if he hurts you, okay?”

Mark smiled. He wrapped his arms around Yugyeom’s waist and smiled.

“Okay, Yugyeom-ah. I will.”

 

* * *

 

It was raining hard on their way back to home. The rain blurred everything outside the window. Mark began to realize that they were driving very slow. The car moved so steadily. Mark stared out through the rain, lost in thought. They didn't talk since they got in the car. They drove home in silence, but this time it was an uncomfortable silence.

 

“We're here, baby.”

Mark blinked his eyes. He didn't realize that Jackson had stopped the car. The rain was so heavy that Mark could barely see the house at all.

“Do you have umbrella?” Mark asked, unbuckling the seat belt.  

 

Jackson didn't answer him. But then, with one fluid movement Jackson pulled Mark’s body on his lap. Mark gasped, but he instinctively wrapped his arms around Jackson’s neck.

 

“Gaga, what are you doing?”

"Yien," he said, his voice nearly inaudible. He looked at him with a wistful expression. "Did I do something wrong?”

Mark bit his lips. He felt so bad now.

“No, Gaga.”

 

Mark watched as Jackson's face grew sad and serious and then he nodded. They sat in silence. Mark tried so hard not to fidget. He didn't like the situation but he didn't know how to break the silence. He wanted to tell Jackson about his insecurities but restrained himself because he thought it was so stupid.

 

“Yien?”

“Yes?” he whispered.

“Are you happy?”

Mark was thrown by his question. He could feel Jackson's arms squeezed lightly around his waist. Jackson waited for him but honestly it wasn’t hard to answer him.

Mark leaned down to press his forehead against his.

“Yes. I am.” He answered, low but firm.

 

Jackson sighed. He took one of Mark's hands, intertwining their fingers. And then he cradled their hands to his chest. Mark could feel his heartbeat under his palm and he guessed Jackson hadn't placed his hand there accidentally.  

 

“I guess that’s enough for me.” he said.

“Are you happy, Gaga?”

Jackson pulled back a little. He held Mark’s gaze and finally he gave him a small smile.

“I am.” He whispered. Mark smiled back at him.

 

Jackson leaned in slowly and brushed his lips with Mark’s. Staring into his eyes, Jackson lightly slid his tongue across his bottom lip. He swept his tongue between his lips, pressing his warm, soft lips to his. Mark closed his eyes when Jackson’s lips started to move against his. It felt so right and suddenly all his negative thoughts in his head went away.

Mark cradled Jackson’s face with his hand, stroking his cheek gently. He felt fluttering inside. They kissed, deep but tender and slow. One of Jackson’s hands moved to his back, stroking it gently. A moment later Jackson pulled back a little, breaking the kiss.

 

“Can we stay here for a moment?”

Mark nodded.

“Yes, of course.”

 

A silence.

 

“Yien?”

“Yes, Jiaer?”

“You know you can always talk to me, right?”

Mark swallowed.

“Yes.”

Jackson kissed his forehead. “Okay.”

 

And then they continued to sit in the car even after the rain finally settled into a quitter drizzle.

 

* * *

 


	4. First Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planing to publish chapter 4 on Sunday but I was too anxious and too nervous about Bambam's enlistment lottery that I couldn't bring myself to re-read this story. Now that we're all relief and glad and happy of the result I wanted to give this story as my little gift for all of you.   
> This is longer than the previous ones so prepare yourself! xoxo

* * *

Mark always wanted to do something for Jackson. His husband always did more for him, always put him first before himself, and never asked for a feedback. He took care of him very well and sometimes Mark felt he didn’t contribute enough to their marriage. It has been bugging him for weeks and he finally decided to do something special for his husband. He wanted to take care of him too. Mark wanted Jackson to know that he also cared about him.

Mark knew Jackson loved homemade food, especially his mother’s food. He once told Mark that whenever he ate homemade food, it made him thought of home, something that would warm his heart instantly. His face would quickly light up and he would eat everything with a smile on his face. He looked so much younger than his age and Mark's heart would turn over his chest just looking at him. It felt like he could see another side of him and he learned something new about his husband every day.

Mark wanted to cook for him, every day if that was possible, but the problem was he didn’t know how to do it. Mark never learned how to cook before and in order to cook Jackson’s favorite meals, he decided to ask his mother to help him. Mark wanted it to be a surprise so he secretly went to his parents’ house without Jackson knowing about it. He came there twice a week, every Monday and Friday, his only free times. Since Jackson had been coming home late due to his upcoming big projects, Mark didn’t have to lie to him. He made sure to be home before ten so that his husband didn’t get suspicious.

Jinyoung had been very supportive. He taught his son patiently and Mark tried so hard to improve his skills as fast as possible. He didn’t have enough time and he was so eager. The thought of doing something for his husband made him felt giddy inside. He knew it was nothing compared to what Jackson did for him but he wanted to make his husband happy. He needed him to know that Mark valued what they’d share, that they were in this together. If small things could make him happy, then he would do whatever it took to make it happen.

Today Mark came a little bit late because he had to do grocery shopping. After trying for almost three weeks, he finally could cook Jackson's favorite meals without Jinyoung's help. It was just an experiment and the taste wasn't that great, he was still working on it, but at least he'd improved a lot. Even Jinyoung was very impressed with his progress, telling him just how fast he was.

Placing his shoes on the shelf, he padded over to the kitchen and found Yugyeom already there, waiting for him.

 

“Yugyeom, where's mom?”

“Out. He can't accompany you today.”

Yugyeom walked over his brother, taking all the plastic bags from his hands. Mark smiled gratefully at him.

“So I’m stuck with you the whole day?”

Yugyeom grinned. “Yup. Since you can cook now, can you make lunch for me? I'm hungry hyung~”

Mark chuckled. He tiptoed slightly—he swore that his brother had gotten few inches taller since the last time he saw him—and ruffled Yugyeom's hair gently.

“Of course, Gyeom-ah. Anything for you.”

Yugyeom bent down, giving him a smacking kiss on the cheek. Mark laughed.

“You are the best, hyung!”

 

Yugyeom helped Mark chopping the vegetables and cooked the rice. They talked and teased each other, just like they used to be. It was something Mark treasured a lot. Now that he was married, he didn't get enough time to spend with Yugyeom. They were inseparable before but now it was pretty hard to just meet him. His brother was busy with school and Mark also got his hands full adjusting to his new life as a married guy. Looking at his brother's face, Mark realized that time indeed flies. 

When Mark tried to chop the onion he wasn’t careful enough that he ended up cutting his finger. He winced, dropping the knife. Yugyeom was fast to take his brother’s hand and led him to the sink, washing his wounded finger.

 

“Hyung, you need to be extra careful.” He scolded softly, frowning at the blood in his fingers. Mark winced when Yugyeom pressed his finger gently.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

 

When the bleed finally stopped, Yugyeom wrapped Mark’s finger with a wet cloth and dragged him to the dining table. He settled his brother in one of the chairs, leaving him for a moment to take a first-aid box.

 

“If Jackson hyung knows about it, he will definitely freak out.” He said after sitting next to his brother with the first-aid box in his lap.

Mark finally laughed a little.

“You’re right. Sometimes he worried too much.”

“He cares about you.” he said softly, applying an antibiotic and then wrapped it with a pikachu band aid—Mark lifted his eyebrows at it but Yugyeom stuck his tongue playfully so he ended up laughing.

“You know how he is sometimes.”

Mark looked at his brother from his long eyelashes and smiled. 

“I know.”

 

Mark continued cooking after that, extra careful now because Yugyeom kept telling him to be careful and not to grip the knife too close to his fingers. Mark threw him an annoyed glance but Yugyeom looked genuinely worried that he didn’t have another choice but oblige.  

A few minutes later Mark settled all the food on the table. Yugyeom looked satisfied when he looked at all the dishes.

 

“It smells really nice. Thank you hyung!”

Mark smiled.

“Eat slowly. It’s still hot, Gyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom grinned.  

“Okay. I will!”

 

Yugyeom dug in first. He took a bit of his favorite dumpling, moaning when he got a full hit of its flavor.

 

“Hyung, this is so good. Jackson hyung is so lucky to have a husband like you.”

Mark’s heart stopped beating for a second. He dropped his spoon slowly, looking at Yugyeom somewhat hesitantly.

“You think so?”

Yugyeom shot him a look. He straightened his back, looking back at his brother with narrowed eyes.

“What do you mean, hyung? You still feel insecure about it?”

Mark sighed.

“It’s not like that. I just want to be enough for him, Gyeom-ah.” He said, lowering his head. “I want to have a marriage like mom and dad have. I want Jackson and me to be like them. They’re like perfect for each other.”

 

It was silence after that. Yugyeom stared intensely at his brother. Mark started to fidget in his seat.

 

“Hyung, look at me.” He said after a moment of silence.

Mark lifted his head slowly. Yugyeom’s heart broke a little when he saw the fear and insecurities in his brother’s eyes. He wished Mark could see himself the way people saw him. He wished his brother knew just how important he was.

“Hyung,” Yugyeom started with a soft voice. He looked at his brother with so much love and admiration. “I think it’s normal for you to feel that way. There’s still a lot to learn but you will get there. And hyung, please don’t think that you aren’t enough. Jackson hyung will get mad if he hears you say that. It hurts me when you say that, hyung.”

Mark fought back the urge to cry. He didn’t expect his brother to give him so much support. Warmth washed through him. His love for Yugyeom only grew deeper.

“Okay. I will never say that again.” He whispered, giving a soft smile. Yugyeom smiled back at his brother.

“Good.”

 

They continued eating in silence. But after a while Yugyeom called him again.

 

“Hyung?”

“Yes, Gyeom-ah?”

Yugyeom didn’t answer him right away. He took a deep breath before answering.

“Hyung, the guy who gets to marry you, he is one lucky guy. Jackson hyung is lucky to have someone like you. I think you fit him perfectly. And I know he will never hurt you intentionally. I’ve warned him before.”

 

Love for him tightened Mark's throat as a soft smile curved his lips. Mark should've known that Yugyeom would give Jackson a big brother threat of some sort. That was just so like him: the protector. Mark was so touched he could feel the tears coming. He smiled, his eyes were glassy.

 

“Thank you, Gyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom reached out for Mark’s hands across the dining table, holding it tightly.

“I love you, hyung.”

Mark blinked. His throat burned with unshed tears.  

“I love you too, Gyeom-ah. So much.”

 

* * *

 

By the time Mark got home, Jackson was already there. He slipped out of his shoes, placing it on the shelf, and then walked straight to the kitchen. Just as he'd predicted, he found his husband in front of the stove, stirring something on the pan. Mark had so much on his mind right now. Ever since his last conversation with Yugyeom, he couldn't help but keep thinking about it. There was a small, frightened voice in the back of his mind. The pessimistic voice that kept clouding his mind the past few weeks. It still swirled dizzily, full of images Mark didn't want to think about. But as he staring at his wide and broad back, Mark tried to remind himself that he had no reason to feel self-conscious. They were okay. They were together now. Nothing could change that.

He walked over to Jackson, hugging him from behind. His husband jumped a little when he wrapped his arms around his waist, rubbing his cheek against his back.

 

“Yien, you're home. I didn’t hear you.”

Mark hummed. “I'm sorry I'm late.”

Jackson turned off the stove before turning around. He tilted Mark's chin up to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. Mark's face quickly heated.

“It's okay. Ma called me earlier. Are you hungry, baby?”

Mark shook his head. “No. I'm tired.”

Jackson caught up his hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissing it gently. His gaze was always intense—intensely focused on him. Mark blushed under his sharp gaze.

"Do you want to sleep now, baby?" Jackson asked as his arms hitched around Mark's waist and hauled him closer to his warm, hard chest.

 

Mark lowered his head, suddenly feeling shy to look at Jackson in the eye. His husband frowned. He caught his chin, forcing him to look at him.

 

Jackson frowned. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?”

Mark smiled, hoping it was convincing enough for Jackson. He hated himself for not be able to stop feeling this way: insecure, afraid, and desperately needed reassurance. He tightened his hold on Jackson’s waist, snuggling closer.

“I’m okay, Jiaer. Don’t worry.”

Jackson brushed the back of his fingers over his cheek. His gaze was soft and warm.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am.”

 

Jackson smiled and Mark couldn't help but smile back at him. His smile was like the lighting in the darkness, blinding and beautiful. And Mark wanted him so badly it was physically painful.

Lowering his head, Jackson nuzzled the side of Mark’s face, his lips brushing lightly over his ear. Mark’s hand moved to cup the back of his neck, playing with his silky hair. Jackson's hands slid around Mark's waist beneath his sweater, squeezing him gently. He tugged him just a little bit closer. A shiver moved through Mark, followed by a heated ache in his lower belly. Jackson hummed a soft pleasant voice. His voice was smooth, with a rasp that made Mark's stomach flutter. His hands beneath Mark's sweater pressed flat to his stomach, drawing small circles that made his body slightly trembled. Mark's senses were overloaded by Jackson's scent and the heat of his body, the feel of his hand on his bare skin and his arms around his waist.

 

“Jiaer~”

“Hm?” he hummed, trailing soft kisses in his ear.

“Kiss me.” he said, breathless and dizzy.

 

Jackson lifted him, hitching one arm beneath Mark's thigh to urge him to wrap his legs around his waist. He turned his head and kissed him softly. Mark shoved his hands into his hair and kissed him back. He loved the way Jackson kissed him, as if he had to, as if he'd go crazy if he didn't. The strokes of Jackson's tongue into his mouth soothing his ragged emotions.

Jackson kissed him tenderly, adoringly, and at that moment Mark forgot his fear, his insecurities, everything. Only remembered that Jackson wanted him and that he was his. Mark clung to him as Jackson carried him to their bedroom without breaking their kiss. His husband was strong enough to support his body with one hand while the other hand blindly reaching the handle of the door, pushing it open, and then slammed it shut with his feet.

He carefully settled Mark down to the center of the bed and climbed on top of him, tucking his forearms on the outside of his biceps and pressing them to his sides, capturing him. Jackson pulled away, staring down at him with a soft smile. He brushed the strands of his hair off his forehead, his fingertips gliding across his face. The way Jackson studied Mark made his chest swelled. Jackson looked stunned and grateful, his eyes warm and tender.

 

“You’re beautiful, Yien.”

Mark's face reddened because, until now, he still couldn't get used to his compliments.

“Stop it,” he murmured shyly. Jackson brushed his cheek gently and then held his face between his hands.

“I like to see you like this. The blush scarlet on your cheeks is lovely.”

Mark whined.

“Gaga, stop it. You make me embarrassed.”

Jackson laughed and warmth instantly spread through Mark to hear it.

“Okay, okay,” he said, chuckling. “Are you ready to sleep now?”

 

Mark nodded. He pulled Jackson down to his side, tossing one leg over his hip. He wrapped an arm around his waist and rested his cheek over his heart. Jackson kissed his temple, holding him tight.

 

“Good night, baby.”

Mark tilted his face up and kissed Jackson's jaw and murmured, “Good night, Jiaer.”

 

The night was very quiet and both of them quickly fell asleep in each other arms.

 

* * *

 

Jackson had to leave early for work and it was Mark’s opportunity to prepare lunch for him. He would visit Jackson’s office today and surprised him with a box of lunch. Mark was excited just to think about Jackson’s reaction. Would he be ecstatic when he found Mark in his office, surprising him with homemade food? Mark wished this small surprise would make his husband happy.

Mark already bought everything he needed yesterday so he didn’t have to do grocery shopping. He quickly brushed his teeth and padded over to the kitchen and started cooking. It took him almost three hours to finish all the dishes. By the time he packed everything inside the lunch box, it’s already twelve. Mark took a quick shower and hurriedly called Han, Jackson’s personal driver, to pick him up.

Han showed up a moment later. He opened the back door for him as Mark greeted him and slid in. He set the lunch box on his lap and looked out the window as the car slowly drove away. He could feel his heart beat a little bit faster. He was so excited that he couldn’t stop smiling throughout the whole ride. By the time they arrived in front of Jackson's office, Mark got out quickly before Han could open the door for him.

 

He waved happily at him.

“Thank you, Mr. Han!” he said with a big smile on his face.

Han bowed down and smiled back at his boss.

“My pleasure, Mrs. Wang.”

 

Mark could feel a blush color his face and his neck at the nickname. It was the first time someone addressed him as ‘Mrs. Wang’ and he didn’t know that that small thing could make him incredibly happy.

After Han drove away, Mark tipped his hack back and followed the line of the building all the way up. Jackson's company was seriously impressive, a sleek spire of gleaming sapphire that pierced through the clouds. Mark had never been here before and after today he would like to visit Jackson more often. He walked to the lobby while humming to Stevie’s song but then two guards in black business suite stopped him. Mark’s step came to a halt. He held the lunch box against his chest, frightened and intimidated by them. He should've known that he couldn't get in easily. He wasn't an employee here. He didn't have ID card to pass in.

 

“Good afternoon, sir.” one of the guards looked down at him with narrowed eyes. Mark invisibly tensed. "Is there something we can help you with?"

Mark gulped. He unconsciously stepped back.

“I want to meet Jackson.”

They frowned at Mark, scanning him from head to toe. Mark shifted uncomfortably, feeling out of place. He was aware that he was underdressed: he wore black ripped jeans and Jackson's hoodie that looked bigger in him.

“You mean, Mr. Wang?”

Mark nodded dumbly.

“Yes. My husband.”

 

As soon as the words left his mouth, Mark felt stupid. He just remembered that their marriage was very private. The public knew that Jackson Wang was married now but they never knew his bride. They would laugh at him and now Mark felt ridiculous. He could feel his face flushed and was ready to go home because he didn't feel like surprising Jackson again but he was surprised when the guards quickly bowed down at him. They looked at Mark with wide eyes and slightly opened mouth.

 

“Mrs, Wang! We didn't know that it was you.”

Mark looked at him, jaw dropped.

“You... know me?”

They quickly nodded.

“Of course. We're so sorry that we didn’t recognize you. Let me take you inside, Mrs. Wang. Mr. Wang would be very happy to see you.”

 

Despite his confusion, Mark could only nod when they led them inside. Once they were inside, he felt awkward when people greeted him and bowed to him. Did Jackson tell all the employees about him? Mark didn't know but he couldn't help the smile that slowly creeping up his face, greeting them back with a big happy smile. After he completed an elevator ride up to the twentieth floor, the guards gesture him to just walk straight to Jackson's office. Mark thanked them sincerely. Jackson's secretary quickly stood when he saw Mark.

 

“Mrs. Wang,” she said, bowing his head. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you in person.”

“Hello,” Mark greeted her cheerfully, feeling overly excited. “Can I meet Jackson? Is he available?”

She glanced at Jackson's closed door and then shifted to Mark with a nervous smile. Something twitched in Mark’s gut.

“I’m afraid he can’t, Mrs. Wang,” she informed him. “Mr. Wang has a quest at the moment but let me call him first to inform your presence."

“No,” Mark stopped her from reaching the phone. “I came here to surprise him. I will just walk in.”

 

Mark quickly left before she could stop him. He pushed the door open as quietly as possible. But then he froze in the doorway, his hands gripping the handle to steady his body. Mark felt the blood drain his face. His gaze locked to where Jackson stood with a gorgeous woman he'd never seen before. Jackson's hand moved to the small of her back to steady her as she leaned into him with a small, feminine laugh.

Pain twisted in his chest. _Jackson_.

Mark exhaled loudly, his breathing too quick and his heartbeat too fast. Jealousy twisted his gut. He knew Jackson couldn't possibly have been physically intimate with another woman. He was married to Mark now, he was his. But Mark couldn't stand seeing that woman pressed closely against Jackson, couldn't stand seeing his husband smiling so fondly at her. The woman, whoever she was, looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was black as ink and hung thick and straight over her shoulder. Her skin was fair, her body petite but perfectly curved. She looked perfect. She wasn't like Mark at all. She was the kind of woman who would make a perfect match for Jackson.

Gasping with a pain more intense than any he could remember, he struggled to control the tears that quickly escaped from his eyes. There was a dull roaring in his ears. He felt dizzy. Disoriented. Furious.

A sob escaped his lips and it successfully drew their attention to him. Jackson turned around and his eyes widened when he saw Mark standing in the doorway, sobbing.

 

“ _Yien_ …”    

With a trembling hand, Mark clutched the lunch box against his chest. His heart started pounding all over again. Swiping at his wet cheek, he turned around and ran as fast as he could.

“Yien, wait!”

 

Mark ran to the elevator the same time it opened. A group of people stepped out and he quickly slid in. He pressed the button furiously and the door closed right before Jackson reached for him. As the elevator began its descent, Mark immediately regretted his decision to come to Jackson’s office and started to cry harder.

 

* * *

 

Mark kept his head down as he made the walk past the lobby and exited the building, ignoring questions from the guards. He started walking with no direction or destination in mind. He didn't know long he'd been walking aimlessly. With every step he took, the adrenaline from his fight burned away. He began to calm down and seriously think about what had just happened. It hurt him to think about Jackson being intimate with another woman, a gorgeous woman who looked perfect standing right next to him. But then he remembered his conversation with Jackson. They promised to make this marriage work. Jackson also told him that he wanted Mark and he knew his husband would never cheat on him. Jackson was faithful, he knew it. Yet Mark couldn't help but feel betrayed by the situation.

Heartsick, he stepped into an Italian bistro and took a table. He ordered a large pizza and a glass of water, hoping his favorite food would calm the vibrating anxiety inside him so he could think properly. When the waiter returned with his order, he gulped down half the glass and nearly choked himself in the process. He dropped the glass and wiped his wet chin with a napkin. His eyes stung and he let a few tears slide down his face, despite being in a very public, very busy restaurant. Some people turned to look at him when he started to sob frantically. A waiter came to him but Mark waved her off, silently telling her to leave him alone. He couldn't deal with people right now.

Mark took his phone out of his pocket with an intention to call Han to pick him up but then he noticed the thirty missed calls from Jackson and a text: **_Yien, please answer my call. I can explain everything to you, baby. Talk to me. Please._**

 

The tears welled again. Mark held the phone to his heart, at a loss for what to do. He couldn’t get the images of Jackson and another woman out of his mind. It was irrational to think of such things and it made him feel small and physically sick.

He startled when the phone vibrated against him, nearly dropping it. Mark looked down at the screen. It was Jackson, obviously. As much as he’d wanted to ignore him, he couldn’t stand to do it now.

 

“ _Hello,_ ” Mark’s voice didn’t sound like his. His throat hurt from crying too much.

“ _Yien! Thank God!_ ” Jackson sounded so anxious and afraid. “ _Where are you, baby?_ ”

Looking around, Mark didn’t see anything that would tell him the name of the restaurant.

“ _I… don’t know, Jiaer. I don’t know._ ”

Jackson exhaled in rush. “ _Baby, I need to find you. Can you describe where you’re at? Did you walk?_ ”

“ _Yes. I walked._ ”

“ _I know you exited from the front door. Which way did you head?_ ”

 

Jackson was breathing quickly and Mark could hear the sounds of traffic and car horns in the background.

 

“ _To the left. I guess. I don’t remember, Jiaer._ ”

“ _Did you turn any corners after that?_ ”

Mark shook his head even though Jackson couldn’t see him right now.

“ _I don’t think so,_ ” he answered, looking around for a server he could ask. “ _I’m in a restaurant. Italian. There’s a flower shop across the street. And the vendors… Gosh, I don’t know. Jiaer, I—_ “

 

Jackson appeared, silhouetted in the entrance with the phone held to his ear. Mark knew him immediately, watched as he froze when he saw Mark seated in the corner. Shoving the phone into the pocket of his pants, he strode past the crowded and headed straight for him. Mark barely managed to get to his feet before Jackson hauled him against his chest and embraced him tightly.

 

“God.” Jackson shook slightly and buried his face in Mark’s neck. “ _Yien_.”

Mark hugged him back. A new sob rising in his throat. Jackson pulled back, cupping his face in his hands.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry. Don’t leave me, please. I can explain everything.”

Mark shook his head.

“Not now,” his voice broke, tears welling up as he felt the number of eyes on them. “I can’t be here, Jiaer.”

 

Jackson pressed his forehead against Mark’s. His arms slid around his waist, pulling him closer. The pain Mark had felt just a moment ago had turned into a dull throbbing. His throat burned with fresh tears.

 

“I want to go my house,” he whispered. “Please take me there, Jiaer.”

Jackson kissed his temple gently and slowly pulled away.

“I will, baby. Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

On the ride to Mark’s house, Jackson pulled him down on his lap. He wrapped one muscular arm around him and tucked him tight against his chest. Mark didn’t resist him. He curled into him, his head on his shoulder. He snuggled into the physical affection he hadn’t realized he needed. They didn’t say anything, falling into silent comfort. Jackson held him so tight as if afraid he would fly away.

 

“I’m sorry about the lunch box.” He said after a long moment of silence. Mark’s body stiffen, Jackson could feel it. He rubbed his arms gently and after a while Mark finally relaxed.

“It’s okay.” He murmured. It was hard for him to think about it right now. He wasn’t ready. The lunch box only brought unpleasant feeling in his stomach. The image of Jackson with that woman still fresh in his mind and it wasn’t easy to just forget it.

“I’m sorry, Yien. For everything.”

Mark could only hum in reply, snuggling closer.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Jackson hugged him, squeezing the air out of him. His hands roaming his back in soothing caresses.

 

When the car finally pulled over the driveway, Jackson reluctantly let go of Mark and got out of the car. They stood in front of Mark’s door, facing each other.

 

“I’m sorry for today. I can’t stop saying it. I’m sorry.” Jackson started, his voice low and raspy. From the look on his face, Mark knew he blamed himself for what had happened.

“We will talk about it tomorrow.” Mark answered, feeling bad for not be able to comfort Jackson. He still felt hurt and unstable.

 

Jackson caught his hand, intertwining their fingers. The simple, intimate gesture meant so much for Mark at that moment that his grip tightened on his.

 

“I’m sorry I made you cry.”

Mark gave him a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes and it made Jackson’s chest tightened to see it.

“It was just a misunderstanding, right?”

“Yes.” Jackson answered firmly. “I would never cheat on you, Yien. Never.”

 

Mark closed his eyes, trying to push away all the negative thoughts in his head. Jackson brushed his fingertips over his cheek, a habitual gesture of affection that was tender and fiercely intimate. Mark was coming to depend on receiving those touches.

 

He leaned his cheek into Jackson’s palm.

“I need to get inside now.”

Jackson cupped Mark’s face in his hands and brushed his mouth across his with heartrending tenderness.

“I will pick you up tomorrow.”

Mark nodded. Jackson finally released him. He stepped back to give Mark some space.

“I’ll go after you get in.”

 

Mark flashed him a small smile before turning his back and got inside the house. He didn’t turn around again and walked straight to the living room.

 

* * *

 

When Mark walked into the living room, he found his mother leaning comfortably against the couch with a book in his lap. Jinyoung sensed his presence and looked up before Mark could call him. His eyes widen in alarm when he saw Mark’s current state: swollen eyes, red nose, and few drops of tears in his cheek.

 

“Baobei, what happened?”

Jinyoung was fast to get up from his seat. He opened his arms and Mark quickly ran to him, hugging his mother tightly.

“Oh, Mark.”

 

Jinyoung stoked his back gently, hugging him back. Burying his face in his shoulder, Mark snuggled closer. He felt tired, both physically and mentally. They held each other for a while before Jinyoung finally released Mark from his hold. He led him to the couch, settling him there. Curling into the corner of the couch, Mark pressed his cheek into the cushion and hugged his legs to his chest.

 

Jinyoung took one of his hands, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s about Jackson, right?”

Mark nodded his head.

“Do you want to talk about it now, sweetheart?”

 

Letting out a long and deep breath, Mark braced himself before telling his mother everything. He told him about the lunch box and his intention to surprise Jackson. His stomach twitched when he recalled the accident earlier and about the woman who was with his husband and how they looked so intimate. And Jackson chased after him and found him in an Italian restaurant. Everything.

By the time Mark had finished his story, he felt relief for letting everything out. He looked at his mother and found him staring at him with an unreadable expression.

 

“So Jackson already told you that he would never cheat on you.”

Mark nodded. “Yes.”

“You don’t trust him, honey?”

Mark was thrown to hear that. He shook his head frantically.

“I do trust him, mom,” he said firmly. “But it’s not him. It’s me. I don’t trust myself.”

Jinyoung frowned.

“But, why?”

 

Mark felt his chest tightened when he finally had enough courage to open up to his mother. He told him about his insecurities. Mark wasn’t confident enough. He was afraid. He didn’t know why but he kept thinking that maybe one day Jackson would leave him for someone else. Someone who’s better than him. Someone like that woman. Someone who fitted him perfectly.

 

Jinyoung’s grip tightened around his hands.

“Oh, baobei. He will never leave you. Never.”

“Why? Because it will cut the ties between our families?”

Mark couldn’t help but answer it curtly. His mother scooted closer. He brought his hand on Mark’s face, stroking his cheek gently. He smiled fondly at him.

“Because he has been waiting for you his entire life, honey.”

Mark’s breath got stuck in his throat. He looked at his mother, bewildered. His body trembled slightly.  

“What do you mean, mom?”

 

Jinyoung took a deep breath before finally telling him the truth.

Jackson was eight when he met Im family for the first time. His parents took him to the hospital, telling him that they were there to meet old friends. It was the day when Jinyoung gave birth to Mark, his first newborn.

Little Jackson met Mark for the first time when he was still a baby. He fell instantly in love with him because Mark was small and cute. Jackson felt the urge to protect him. He adored him so much. After their visit to the hospital, Jackson asked his parents to come to Im’s house every weekend. He wanted to spend more time with Mark. But when Mark turned two, Jackson had to move back in Hong Kong because his father was starting a new business there. Before he went back to his homeland, Jackson had asked Jinyoung to keep him update about Mark even though he wasn’t around anymore.

Jackson was eighteen when his parents told him about the arranged marriage. They told Jackson that he had to marry Mark when the time was come. The truth was, this marriage wasn’t supposed to happen. His parents gave Jackson the freedom to refuse the deal. Both Im and Wang family strongly believed that their children had a right to choose. But Jackson surprisingly said yes in a heartbeat. He told his family that wanted to marry Mark. And that he would marry him when the time came.

At first Jaebum was against it. He didn’t want to put Mark in such situation. He wanted Mark to have a chance to choose his own partner. He didn’t want his children to live a miserable life. But Jackson was very persistent. He came to Jaebum and Jinyoung right after his graduation day. He personally asked Jaebum’s permission to be Mark’s husband. He begged Jaebum to give him a chance. He promised Jaebum that he would prove himself.

And he did. He built his own company, making his own name without his parents’s help. He proved himself that he was good enough to be Mark’s husband. It took him years to get Jaebum’s permission but in the end he managed.

Mark couldn’t believe what he’d just heard from his mother. Everything made sense now. How Jackson knew almost everything about him. When they first met, Jackson didn’t seem awkward at all and acted like he’d known him for years. Well, Jackson did know him since the day he was born.

 

Jinyoung gently wiped Mark’s tears with his finger.

“He was very persistent,” he said in a low voice. “He tried so hard to get your father’s permission. He did everything he could to prove himself that he was good enough for you.”

Tears rolled down his cheek. “Mom…”

“You know, he made a promise I’ll never forget.” Jinyoung smiled, recalling the memories. “He said he will never give up on you. He might be not enough but he said that he would be enough for you. He told me that nothing could stop him from making you his. And that he will do anything to make you the happiest man on earth.”

Mark sobbed loudly, clutching his mother’s arm so tight it physically hurt.

“Mark,” he said softly. “I hope you know just how important you are to him. You’re not only his husband. You’re not just his life partner.”

His mother stopped for a moment. His eyes were glassy now. He looked at his oldest son with so much love and adoration in his eyes.

“When Jackson met you for the first time, you become his sole attention. You are his purpose, honey. You are his life.”

 

Mark’s tears broke down into gut-wrenching sobs. He cried in his mother’s arms. His mind filled with Jackson. Jackson, Jackson, his Jackson. He wanted Jackson. He needed him.

He had to go home.

 

* * *

 

Opening the door with a loud bang, he barged in without closing the door. His eyes wildly scanning the whole room and started to call Jackson’s name frantically.

 

“Jack! Jackson!”

It was silence. No sight of his husband.

“Jiaer, where are you?”

 

Mark was about to head to their shared bedroom when Jackson finally showed up. Mark stared at him, out of breath. Jackson stared back, completely stunned. And then, they lunged at the same time, colliding. Their mouths slid over each other as Jackson lifted Mark to wrap his legs around his hips. He stumbled to the couch and fell with Mark straddling him. Jackson’s arms draped behind him so that his fingertips could brush casually and possessively up and down Mark’s back. Their tongue stoked and dipped, the kiss wildly passionate.

When Jackson finally broke the kiss, Mark wrapped his arms around his neck. He couldn’t help a loud sob that broke in his voice.

 

“Gaga. Ga-ga—“ he hiccupped and sobbed and wailed. He kept chanting Jackson’s name like a mantra.

Jackson hugged him so tight it hurt.

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry for making you cry.”

Mark shook his head.

“I’m sorry, too. I should’ve listened to your explanation first.”

 

Jackson cupped the back of Mark’s neck, pulling away so he could see his face.

 

"I'm... so sorry, Yien," he whispered, staring at his eyes with miserable eyes. Mark's heart ached at the pain in his voice.

“Don’t be.” He whispered back.

"Yien," his voice was a whisper of pain. "The woman you saw earlier, it was Youngji. She is my friend from Hong Kong. We're friends for years. She came to invite me to his wedding. I'm sorry you got a wrong impression when you saw us. We're close friends. She knows about you but you never see her before because she couldn't make it on our wedding day. Please trust me, Yien. I will never cheat on you. Never."

 

The rush of relief that swept through Mark was ridiculously powerful. He finally got the reassurance he wanted, that Jackson valued what they'd shared, that it meant something to him as it had to Mark. Closing his eyes, Mark exhaled in relief with a fierce joy.

Jackson caught his fingers and kissed his knuckles then placed his palm over his heart. Mark could feel its pounding rhythm.

 

“I’m yours, Yien. I’m yours.”

“Oh, Jiaer.” Mark wrapped his arms and legs around him, holding him as close to him as possible. For the first time after what had happened, Mark was happy.

“I’m yours, too.” he whispered. “And I’m sorry for acting stupid like that. I trust you. I do.”

Jackson’s lips twitched and he touched his cheek.

“I failed to make you happy. I’m such a bad husband.”

Mark frowned at him.

“You’re not. You are the best husband ever.”

“I don’t think so, Yien.”

 

Mark whined. He grabbed Jackson’s chin and leaned down so that their face were inches apart.

 

“You listen to me now, Wang Jiaer. It wasn’t your fault, okay? I was being stupid and irrational. I should’ve listened to your explanations first before jumping to conclusion. And eventually we will fight from time to time. You would do something that hurt me, unintentionally of course, and vice versa. But that’s okay. That’s marriage. At the end of the day, we still have each other.”

Jackson could only stare at him with guilt in his eyes. He didn’t say anything so Mark continued.

“I wasn’t very happy or pleased when my parents told me about our marriage. Yes, it’s true. But then I saw you for the first time and ever since that day, my life instantly changed. When you proposed to me that night, when you took me to Wang Island for our honeymoon, and when you slept with me for the first after I had a nightmare. Those are one of the happiest moments in my life.”

 

Mark caressed Jackson’s cheek tenderly. He smiled at his husband, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

 

“Jiear,” he whispered. “I’m happy. With you, with us. You make me happy.”

Jackson’s lips twitched and he touched his cheek.

“Do I really make you happy?”

“Yes, I am. Please stop blaming yourself, Jiaer.”

Jackson touched the frown line between Mark’s eyebrows, smoothing it gently.

“But I’m making you unhappy now. I don’t like it. I never want to do that. But I did.”

 

Mark hissed, really upset now. He was pulling his bright memory through the darkness, staining it.

 

“Then don’t _you_ be unhappy. If you want to make me happy, then be happy. That’s the only way.”

Jackson’s eyes tightened. He took a deep breath and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll try.” He said. “I will do everything to make you happy again, Yien.”

“Anything that will make me happy?”

Mark’s stomach growled at the same time he finished talking. Jackson finally laughed, small and low. He stared at Mark with tender eyes.

“You’re hungry.”

Mark blushed. “Yes.”

Reaching out, Jackson tapped his nose with his fingertip and smiled.

“Well, then. Let’s have dinner.”

 

* * *

 

After they had finished dinner, they brushed their teeth side by side at the sink. Their gaze met in their mirrored reflections and they couldn't stop smiling at each other. Jackson told Mark to go first because he wanted to take a quick shower. Mark stripped off his clothes as he crossed the distance from the closed bathroom door to the bed, finally crawling between the cool sheets in just his sweatpants. He hugged a pillow and closed his eyes, so tired and drained. He didn't hear Jackson came back, but he felt him as he drew to a stop at the edge of the bed. Jackson turned off the lamp on the nightstand and then slid onto the bed to spoon behind Mark. He was fresh from the shower and he smelled so good. His warmth was welcome, chasing away the chill that had brought goosebumps to Mark’s skin. He didn't say anything for a long while, just gave Mark the comfort of having him close. Or maybe he was taking comfort in Mark.

 

"Jiaer?"

"Yes, baby?"

Mark was hesitant for a moment. He exhaled, his heartbeat not quite steady.

"Mom told me everything today. About you and the arranged marriage."

 

Jackson sucked in a deep breath and tightened his hold. It was quiet for a very long moment, just the thud of their heart hammering, and the broken rhythm of their breathing.

 

"Is it true, Jiaer?" Mark finally asked, breathless. "It was you who wanted this marriage to happen?"

Mark could feel his harsh breathing in his ear when he answered.

"Yes, it's true." He said with a low voice, firm and absolute.

Mark's breath left him in a rush.

"Why?"

 

Jackson carefully rolled Mark around so they could see each other's face. Jackson was quiet again. Mark waited, letting him take his time. Then he waited some more while his breathing went back to normal. Mark wished he could see his face. But even in the darkness, Mark could feel his piercing gaze.

 

"Because I've loved you, Yien," he finally said, the words as quiet as a breath. "I've loved you for a long time. I couldn’t bear the thought of you being with someone else. As selfish as it may sound, I wanted you to be mine. Mine only."

 

_Love_. Jackson loved him. It was a very strong word, but a true word. Mark sucked in a big gulp of air, breathing them in. A shiver ran down his spine, making him tremble. The word ‘love’ reverberated through him, sending a crazy rush of adrenaline through his system. Mark gripped Jackson's torso so tight it hurt. But Jackson was calm. His breath even and Mark could feel him moved closer and closer and closer, and then his lips in Mark's ear.

 

"Yien," he whispered, his hands moved to his bare back, stroking it gently. Mark's skin was all hot and prickly. He breathed slowly in and out, focusing on that to calm himself.

"I will show you just how much I love you." 

Mark gasped. “But, why me?”

Jackson’s lips were sliding down his neck, his tongue stroking over his racing pulse. He sucked on his skin, making Mark shuddered.   

“It had to be you, baby. Only you.”

 

Jackson carefully pushed Mark into his back and climbed on top of him. His mouth slanted over Mark’s, kissing him slow and deeply, tasting of mint and his sweet scent. Mark’s hand slid down his muscular back, his legs parting so Jackson could settle comfortably between them. The weight of Jackson against him made Mark’s heart skipped a bit and his blood warm with desire.

Jackson’s hand slid into his sweatpants and Mark cried out when he gave him a gentle squeeze. His lips wrapped around his nipple, licking and sucking. Mark gasped and arched into his hand, his body trembling. He moaned when Jackson fastened his pace.

Jackson pressed his mouth to Mark's, stroking him harder. Mark rocked his hips, feeling the orgasm building with every stroke of his hand. Jackson stroked him with a tenderness that made the orgasm roll through him like a crashing wave, building and swelling and spreading through him in a warm rush of pleasure.

" _Jiaer_!"

Mark moaned, breaking their kiss. Jackson captured him by the nape as the orgasm exploded through him, making him tremble all over again. He watched Mark fall apart, holding his gaze.

Mark gasped, struggling to breathe. Jackson pushed his pants down along with his underwear. He spread Mark’s legs even wider. He kissed his navel, and then he moved lower, his hair caressing Mark’s stomach as he settled between his legs. He pulled his legs over his shoulders and nuzzled his entrance. His light, teasing licks through his entrance made Mark shuddered violently.

 

“No, no,” Mark shook his head, trying to pull him up. “I can’t, Jiaer.”

“You can and you will come again, baby.” he growled, deep and dangerous.

 

Mark was too swollen, too sensitive. But then Jackson's tongue touched his entrance, fluttering over it, and the hunger built again. More intense than before. Mark's back bowed. Hoarse pleas left his lips. Tension spread through his body, tightening everything until he felt like he might snap under the pressure.

 

"Ji-Jiaer!" Mark moaned, gripping his hair tightly when Jackson pushed his tongue as deep as he could. And then he pushed him into orgasm with the softest nudge of his tongue. Mark cried out, heated relief pulsing through his writhing body.  

 

Brushing away the tear tracks from his face, Jackson stared into his eyes. He kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly.

“I love you, Yien,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say it back. For now, just know that I love you. So much.”

Mark’s eyes stung with unshed tears. He cupped Jackson’s jaw, stroking it gently.

“I know,” he whispered back. “I know.”

 

Jackson kissed him achingly slow as he slid one finger inside him. Mark’s hand went to his hair, tugging it gently. He pulled Jackson impossibly closer as he working him open with two fingers, faster now. Instinctively, Mark rocked into his hands. He gasped, and moaned, and panted heavily when Jackson finally added the third finger.

 

“Please, Jiaer,” he begged, breathless. “ _Please_.”

“Ssh,” Jackson murmured into his opened mouth. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.”

 

Mark put his hands on his shoulders, peeling his shit off with cautious movements. It felt so intense and intimate to undress him. With their hands linked, Jackson began to push. They held each other’s gaze as Jackson slid inside him, slowly and deliberately. Mark’s breath hitched as he could feel every inch of him. He wrapped his legs around his hips, welcoming him deeper, feeling his buttocks flex with each movement. Jackson’s breath gusted hard and humid against his throat, his big frame trembling as he glided all the way to the root.

 

“Are you okay, baby?” Jackson asked, inhaling sharply. He was breathing hard. Mark nodded, feeling utterly overwhelmed.

“Yes.” he answered breathlessly. “Move, please.”

 

Jackson began to move in measured, deliberate thrusts. Mark’s palm pressed flat to his back. He loved how Jackson started out with tenderness, then grew rougher as the desire he felt for him overwhelmed his control. Cupping his buttocks, Jackson angled his hips and slammed deep inside him. Mark threw his head back, moaning shamelessly. He clenched around him and Jackson groaned deep in his chest.

 

“God, Yien.”

“More,” he ordered, digging his nails into his back. He rocked his hips to meet his tireless and relentless thrust. “More, Jiear.”

 

Jackson pulled out and thrust back into him with a powerful strength that made him arched his back and clenched eagerly around him. He couldn't hold back a moan of delight when Jackson finally touched the sensitive spot inside him.

 

“I love you, baby.” He kissed his jaw, quickening his pace. “I love you.”

Mark moaned as Jackson kept gliding in and out. Every inch of his skin burned as if from the sun and his chest was so tight with longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe.

“I’m yours, Jiaer.” He cupped his jaw, staring at his intense gaze. It was the only answer he could give at the moment. “Only yours.”

 

Jackson growled, pounding his hips up at him, yanking Mark’s hips down to meet his lunges. He hit the end of him with every deep thrust, stroking over and over the sensitive spot inside him. Mark was desperate for him, his nails digging into his pumping hips. They were dripping with sweat, their skin hot and slicked together, their chest heaving for air. As an orgasm brewed like a storm inside Mark, everything tightened and clenched, squeezing. Jackson cursed and shoved one hand beneath his hip, cupping his buttock and lifting him into his thrusts.

 

"Come with me, baby." he coaxed him gently. "Come now."

“ _Jiaer_!”

Pleasure rippled through Mark's entire body, pushing him to the brink of orgasm. Jackson buried his face in his neck and held him tightly as he came deep inside him with a low growl of Mark’s name, spilling into him.

 

* * *

 

Mark sank into the mattress, sweaty and boneless. His eyes closed, focusing on the feel of Jackson. The smell of him. He hugged him, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. Lifting his head, Jackson pressed a soft kiss to the tip of his nose. He smiled down at Mark, his eyes were bright and happy. Mark smiled back at him.

 

“How are you feeling, baby?”

“Perfect.”

Jackson chuckled. He sounded so happy and that made Mark genuinely happy too. He was glad his husband was back to normal again. Jackson was about to pull out but Mark quickly stopped him.

“Don’t.” he shook his head.

Jackson frowned. “But, baby. We need to clean up.”

 

Mark whined, cupping the back of his neck. He pulled his face closer, nuzzling his nose against his. He inhaled deeply, loving the way he smelled so much like Jackson.

 

“Just… a little bit more,” he whispered. “I need to feel you a little bit more.”

Jackson pressed their forehead together, their breath mingled.

“Okay,” he whispered back. “A little bit more.”

 

Later that night, Jackson ended up falling asleep on top of him and still inside him. They wrapped in each other’s arms, perfectly content and deeply connected.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go guys :')


	5. Dusk till Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this is lueursept. There's a lot of thing I wanted to say but I don't know where to start. I feel bittersweet saying goodbye to this story. This fic is special to me because I feel so attached to it. To tell you the truth, I almost gave up on this but because all of you keep giving me immense love and support, I am able to continue this story until the end and I am forever grateful for that. Thank you so much for everything. I'll try harder to perfect my English.  
> The last chapter reached over 12k so brace yourself. Enjoy <3 
> 
> WARNING: lots of /failed/ smuts ahead xD

* * *

The soft sweet trailing kisses on the bare skin of Mark's shoulder woke him in the morning. Mark didn't want to open his eyes. His husband was spooning him and he was too comfortable to even move. Jackson's arms wound around him and it felt very easy and natural as breathing. His fingers trailed up and down the contours of his spine, sending a shiver moved through his body. Mark stayed very still and tried to keep his breathing even when Jackson's hands moved to his flat stomach, barely touching it as he lightly tracing patterns on his skin. His husband loved to touch him. His touches were soft, light, and attentive. He touched Mark ever so slowly, carefully, as if he was afraid he might break him. Jackson pulled him closer, his bare back flushed against Jackson’s broad chest. His lips were on his hair, inhaling his scent deeply and Mark couldn’t help but blush because it felt so intimate.

Mark finally opened his eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through the window of their room. The weather was really warm today. He sighed, feeling incredibly happy first thing in the morning. Mark would love to go outside and let the sun warm his face. But he stayed curled up, absorbing Jackson's touches that made his skin tingled.

 

“Good morning, baby.” Jackson’s rough but tender voice greeted him and it flooded his senses. He pressed his body firmly against Mark’s back.

“Good morning, Gaga.”

 

Mark greeted him back, his face flushed when the memory of last night flashed through his mind. But he didn’t shy away from Jackson’s touch. Instead, he sank deeper into the warm and familiar embrace. Mark loved morning like this. He’d wake up feeling giddy and happy with Jackson’s arms around him. He loved the warm and light touches of his fingers. He loved being so close with Jackson, feeling every inch of his body pressed firmly against his. He loved feeling his chest moved with every breath that he'd taken. He loved listening to his heartbeat, making him feel connected with him.

Jackson breathed him in and took his hand. He ran his fingertips over the palm, the simple yet intimate gesture made Mark's heart swelled with affection.

 

“Do you have class today, baby?”

“Yes. I have to go to campus at 11.”

Jackson hummed, his lips moved to Mark’s ear, kissing it lightly. “Do you want me to take you there today?”

“Don’t you have works? I can go by myself.”

“I can go to work after lunch. I want to stay at home with you a little bit longer.”

 

Mark slowly turned around to face his husband. They're so close and Mark could feel his breath washed over his face. Mark reached out and stroked the space between his eyebrows. He didn't know why he did that, he just couldn't help it. When he looked at Jackson, his eyes were wide open, watching him. His smile turned up the corners of his lips.

 

“Are you done stroking my face, baby?” he asked playfully, but Mark could hear the endearing and tender voice in his voice. He shyly pulled his hand away.

“I always wanted to do that,” he confessed, avoiding Jackson's gaze. “I don't know why. I just couldn't help it.”

Jackson smiled wider. He inched closer, taking Mark's hand and placed it in his face. He sighed softly when Mark’s palm made a contact with his skin.

“You can touch me everywhere you want. I don't mind.”

Mark bit his lips. “Really?”

Jackson kissed his palm and smiled.

“Really, baby.”

 

Mark hesitantly moved his palm, tracing his perfect sculpted jaw. Jackson’s beard scrapped his skin but he liked it. A sudden impulse to reach over and touch him was so strong. He was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through him, amazed that no matter how often he'd touched Jackson, he still got a fluttery sensation in his stomach. He stroked his face and it nearly overwhelmed him. He didn't know why but for some reasons he felt the need to make sure everything was real.

Mark swiftly brushed the length of his cheekbone with his fingertips. He lightly trailed his finger to the corner of his lips, brushing it with a feather-light touch that made Jackson shuddered slightly. He unconsciously smiled. It still felt surreal for Mark to have Jackson with him right now. Sometimes he had to remind himself that what he had right wasn’t a dream at all. His hand glided down to his neck ever so slowly and tentatively and stopped there for a while, feeling his pulse quickened. He ran down his hand down his chest, feeling it heaving against his palm. He looked up again and found him had his eyes closed.

 

“Is it really okay?” Mark whispered.

“Yes,” Jackson said without opening his eyes. He sighed dreamily. "You can't imagine how that feels."

Mark's fingertips traced his abs with a feather-light touch, trailing down on his pelvis. Jackson inhaled a sharp breath, stopping Mark's hand to go further. When Mark touched him like that, it stung Jackson as if an electric current had passed through him. His tender touch on his skin never failed to make his heart thud erratically.

“Sorry,” Mark murmured, pulling his hand back immediately. His face heated. He looked up in time to see his black eyes opened and looked at him with a lust and raw hunger. Mark shuddered but he couldn't take his eyes off him. Jackson's eyes mesmerized him. And part of him felt proud because he was the one who could make him looked like that. That he could affect him in such ways.

 

Linking their hands together, Jackson pushed him to his back and climbed on top of him. Mark instinctively opened his legs wider so Jackson could settle in between his thighs and they’re home. Mark touched his nape shyly with his fingertips. Jackson’s skin was so warm. His husband slowly leaned down, trailing kisses along his long neck.

 

"You have no idea, Yien," he whispered. "You drive me crazy."

Mark gasped when Jackson entered him again, his movement was so quick and fluid that he didn't feel it. Jackson stayed still for a moment, letting Mark adjust. The grip on his waist was possessive but Mark liked the feeling. He could feel Jackson’s immense love for him through his actions.

They held each other’s gaze as Jackson started to move inside him. Mark heard his own moan and arched into his gentle yet firm thrusts. Soon they’re rocking together, pressed against each other tightly, bodies slick with sweat and chest heaving.

"You are so warm and tight, Yien." he said, slowly sliding in and out. “You feel so good, baby.”

 

Mark sealed his lips over Jackson’s, rocking his hips down to meet his thrust. He kissed him fiercely and passionately as Jackson picked up the pace, driving in harder. Mark cried out as he came hard on his stomach. Jackson groaned, thrusting in once more before releasing himself, filling his husband up. He collapsed onto the younger, pulling out gently and tugging Mark so that they’re both lying on their sides.

 

Jackson pressed a kiss to his temple. “Are you okay, baby?”

Mark cuddled up to him and sighed contently, his eyes threatening to fall shut from exhaustion. He’d just woke up but now he really wanted to sleep again.

“Yes, I’m okay.” He said. “Can we sleep again? I’m so tired.”

Jackson chuckled. “All right, princess. Anything you want.”

Mark pinched his ribcage.

“Don’t call me princess!”

Jackson tightened his hold and smiled at him.

“I love you. So much.”

 

Mark didn’t answer Jackson but he smiled back and as he stared at his husband, the bright trace of happiness lightened his face. At this moment, it was more than enough for both of them.

 

* * *

 

Mark couldn't sleep at all, even after Jackson lulled him with a soft lullaby. He was eager and he couldn't wait for the sun to rise because tomorrow was his first anniversary with Jackson. Tomorrow remarked their first year as a married couple. Time passed by so quickly. A lot happened during their first year together and their bond getting stronger each day that passed by. He was indeed happy. As long as he could be with Jackson, then that’s enough for him.

Mark had already made a plan for their anniversary. He wanted to celebrate it with Jackson and he wanted to make a surprise for his husband. It had to be perfect. The plan had to go perfectly tomorrow.

 

“Baby, what’s wrong? Why you didn’t sleep?” Jackson’s voice startled him. He sounded concern and Mark felt bad for waking him up. Mark whined, feeling his heart thumped loudly. He was so nervous and excited at the same time.

“I’m... okay.”

“Don’t lie to me, Yien.”

“I’m really okay, Jiaer. It’s just... I have a test tomorrow and I’m not sure if I can do it or not.” He said, trying to sound convincing. He felt bad for lying though because he never lied before, especially to Jackson.

Jackson shushed him quietly, spooning him and tightening his hold.

“You’ll do just fine, baby.” he said, kissing his nape lightly. “I know you can do it.”

Mark sighed. “Yes. I hope so. Sing for me, please?”

 

He chuckled softly, and then began to hum the same lullaby he’d made for Mark. His voice was soft and soothing in Mark’s ear. Mark was restless but he eventually fell asleep in Jackson's warm embrace.

Hours later, an unusual brightness woke him. He opened his eyes to see an empty spot beside him. He frowned, wondering where was his husband. Did Jackson already go to the office? But it was still early and why he didn’t wake him? Mark felt a sharp pang of disappointment in his chest. It was their first anniversary and Jackson had left him alone.

Did Jackson forget about it? Mark shook his head, trying to push the negative thoughts away. There's still a possibility that Jackson didn't forget their anniversary. Maybe he was in rush and had an urgent meeting. It happened from time to time. He was a very busy businessman after all. It could be, right? He tried to convince himself but his eyes stinging. It wasn't how he wanted to start this day but he knew he couldn't stay on bed all day.

Mark had plans and he was determined to make it worked. Ignoring the deep sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he got up off the bed and padded over to the bathroom to get ready. There’s a lot of thing he had to do today. He had to cook dinner and prepared Jackson’s gift— _crap_. Mark’s eyes widened when he realized that he forgot to buy a gift for Jackson! Mark shrieked loudly as he grabbed his hoodie, slipping on his shoes and stumbling to the door. How could he forget about it?

 

“Mr. Han! Mr. Han!” he yelled loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. Mr. Han showed up right away, breathless.

“Yes, sir?”

“Mr. Han, I need to buy something for Jackson. Please drive me to the nearest department store.”

 

Mr. Han nodded quickly. He opened the door for him and Mark slid in. He bit his nails, feeling so stupid right now. He hasn’t cooked yet and he forgot to get his husband a present. What a way to celebrate the anniversary.

It only took 15 minutes to arrive at the department store. Mark quickly got out of the car, telling Mr. Han to wait for him. He ran inside, his mind was a nauseous jumble of mess. He couldn’t think straight. What should he buy? What kind of present that would make Jackson happy?  

Mark wasn’t really paid attention to his surroundings, looking around frantically, until he bumped into someone’s back. He gasped, stumbled backward and almost fell on his butt. The apology was already on the tip of his tongue but when he looked up, he saw Shownu towering over him.

 

“Shownu?”

Shownu looked as surprised. “Mark? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes,” he answered quickly. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

“It’s okay. Are you looking for something?”

Mark tried to control his breath before nodding.

“I want to buy a present for… someone. But I don’t know what I should buy for him.”

Mark could hear the frustration in his voice and Shownu must have noticed it too.

“Why don’t we look around together? I’m also looking for something nice for Kihyun. His birthday is next week.”

Mark instantly brightened at the idea.

“Cool! Let’s go then!”

 

Mark was able to calm down a little after talking with Shownu. His friend was a good company. He suggested a lot of good ideas and Mark finally could decide what to buy. They entered a watch store. Mark decided to buy a wristwatch because his husband looked good with a watch. And because he knew that Jackson loved to collect watches. For once Mark used his card from Jackson because the price was ridiculously expensive. But it was worth it. By the time they stepped out of the store, a brilliant smile broke across Mark’s face.

 

“Do you want to eat ice cream before going home?” Shownu asked as they stepped out of the stationary. Mark checked the time on his phone and after battling with his inner self, he nodded.

“Okay. My treat!”

Shownu grinned. “Cool!”

 

They decided to go to Baskin Robbins. As they talking animatedly, suddenly there’s a figure in front of them, making them stopped abruptly. Mark gasped loudly when he found Jackson right in front of him. He was surprised to find him here and slightly panicked, but then his body shuddered when he stared at Jackson’s face. His husband looked absolutely rigid and _livid_. A look of intense anger crossed his face. Mark unconsciously stumbled backward. It wasn't something he used to see. His husband never looked like this before. Like he wanted to murder someone. For a split second that seemed much longer than it really was, Mark was in a trance, unsure what to do or say. He stared, shocked, and wondered why Jackson was here when he was supposed to be working at his office.

 

Mark inhaled sharply. “Jiaer, what are you doing here?”

Jackson pressed his lips into a thin line. His face was motionless but his nostril flared up. His breath steady and he seemed completely composed but Mark knew better than that. It was there in his eyes. Mark could easily see it.

“What are _you_ doing here, Mark?”  Jackson's voice was cold as ice, sharp as razors. Mark could sense the anger vibrating beneath that calm surface.

 

Mark froze, his horrified eyes widened. Jackson never called him Mark before. He’d never called him like that—so cold and sharp. And he’d never seen his husband so angry before. He was always calm, composed, and never lost control before. Mark wasn't ready to receive that kind of treatment and he could feel something sharp stabbed his chest. He stepped back and almost tripped over his own feet but Shownu quickly placed a hand at his lower back, steadying him.

Jackson saw that and a low yet dangerous growl rumbled deep in his throat as he stepped forward. Shownu was definitely taller and bigger than Jackson but right now his husband looked ten times scarier than his friend, glaring at him with his sharp eyes.

 

“Let him go.” He growled, tugging Mark’s wrist harshly and pulled him against his side. Mark gasped, his face pressed firmly against Jackson’s chest. He wasn’t able to breathe. Jackson squeezed his waist so tight he almost crushed him.

“Who are you? _You_ let him go! You’re hurting him!” Shownu growled back, gripping one of Mark’s hands and attempted to pull him. Jackson snarled, making Mark’s whole body trembled with fear.

“Don’t touch him.” he hissed, voice dripping with venom.

“Gaga, he’s—“

“You’re going home with me, Mark. _Now_.” He cut him off, and there’s an absolute command in his voice. He didn’t even look at Mark. Mark felt the shock break through his face, followed instantly by the hurt.

“Whoever you are, you’d better keep your distance from him,” he said through gritted teeth. “He is my husband. He’s _mine_.”  

The words were a snarl and then Jackson tugged his wrist, leaving a very shocked Shownu without so much of explanation.

 

* * *

 

Mr. Han opened the door and Mark slid forward on the seat. Mark pushed back into the seat, feeling physically ill. The door opened, startling him, and he looked around to see Jackson settled beside him. Mark was completely confused and still couldn’t comprehend the whole situation. He needed explanations.

He lurched toward Jackson. “Gaga—“

“Not now, _Mark_.” his voice whipped with anger. His face was impassive, his eyes hard and Mark was thrown.

 

That name again. That hurt. Terribly. Exactly what he’d done to make Jackson treat him this way? They were okay last night. And then this morning Jackson just left him without saying anything. Mark wanted to be a caring partner and tried so hard not to feel sad or disappointed. He knew that Jackson was a busy man and he had to feed thousand people. But right now he really couldn’t understand his action. Jackson just showed up out of nowhere and looked like he wanted to kill Shownu.

Mark had a million questions for him. One of them bubbled to his lips now, but he held his tongue. He wasn't ready for Jackson's reaction. He was afraid his husband would snap at him again and honestly he wasn't ready to hear Jackson called him _Mark_. It felt so strange and it made him wanted to throw up right at this moment.

At this point Mark knew that his husband had completely forgotten their first anniversary. Mark was pissed and extremely hurt. Jackson had ruined Mark’s imaginations, his plans. Everything. And now he’s sitting so far away from him, staring out of the windows. He didn’t look at him, blatantly ignoring him like he didn’t exist. It wasn’t like Jackson at all to treat him like this. Deep down Mark knew that something must have happened to make him act like this but his head was clouded with too many emotions that he couldn’t think straight.

Mark’s chest heaved as he tried to stem the need to sob. His eyes stinging but he didn’t want to appear weak. He didn’t want to cry right now. His fists were clenched and he looked away from his husband. He bit his lips so hard he could taste blood on his tongue.

It was dead silent after that. After what seemed like forever, eventually, the car slowed and Mark looked out, realizing they’d returned to home. Mark slid out of car and ran inside. He heard Jackson calling him but he didn’t want to look back, not after what he did. They had fights before and Mark thought it was normal for a married couple like them to fight from time to time. But this time Mark was really upset to even talk.  

 

“Yien, stop running!”

Mark gritted his teeth, walking faster to avoid his husband. He wanted nothing but to lock himself in his room right now.

“Yien, I said stop.”

“Leave me alone, _Jackson_.”

 

He heard a low growl from behind him. His hand was on the door handle when Jackson caught him, yanking him back by the elbow. Spinning, Mark glared at him. His face was flushed with anger and his eyes too bright.

 

“Let me go, Jackson.” his voice sharpened with anger.

Jackson’s eyes turned dark and dangerous.

“No before you explain yourself to me. Who _the fuck_ was that?”

Mark looked at him in disbelief.

“He is my friend,” he spat bitterly. “If anything, _you_ should be the one who has to explain yourself to me.”

Jackson looked at him through piercing eyes.

“Weren’t you supposed to be at campus? Why were you with him?”

“It’s none of your business!” Mark was struggling to get free from Jackson’s death grip. He wriggled his wrist but that only made Jackson tightened his hold.

“Answer me, Mark. I am your husband and I need to fucking know.”

 

Mark sucked in a sharp breath, sending a sharp pain through my chest. Suddenly, it was just more than he could handle—it felt as if all of his anxiousness was crashing down on him. He was so tired that he thought he might collapse right there on the floor. He stopped trying to get free. Everything was just too much for him right now. A low sound left him, a pained whimper that had him squeezing his eyes shut. The urge to cry was overwhelming and Mark didn’t fight it. It felt good to get it out. All the pressure of the long day seemed to flow out of him as he sobbed.

At the sound of Mark crying, Jackson’s head jerked back as if someone had slapped him. Tears slid down his cheeks, cutting into Jackson like a blade. Mark could feel his husband became tensed and rigid. He let go of Mark’s hand as if it burned him. Jackson inhaled sharply, all his anger quickly left him.

 

“I… Jesus, Yien. What _have_ I done?” he groaned, frustrated with himself.

Jackson took a step forward but he was afraid to touch him. For a moment they stood there without saying anything until Mark calmed enough to speak again.

“Jackson,” he whispered, his voice was low and throbbed with hurt. “Do you know what today is?”

Jackson stared at him for a very long moment. When the realization finally hit him, his eyes bulged as he let out a strangled breath as if someone had choked him. He looked like he was about to be sick. Mark felt his heart had been ripped from his chest. Jackson was indeed forgotten about it and the pain was almost unbearable for him right now.  

“ _Yien_ ,” Jackson put his arm around Mark and pulled him closer, grateful when his husband put a hand on his shoulder. Not surrender but more like a momentary truce. It was good enough for Jackson right now. He wrapped his arms around his waist carefully and released a shaky exhalation when his husband didn’t flinch of his touch.

“God, it’s our first anniversary and I lashed out at you. I am so fucked up right now. Fuck, I ruined everything.”

 

Jackson felt horrible and his head spun sickeningly. Abruptly, he felt really sick with guilt—felt truly horrible about his careless actions and how insensitive he was. His throat tightened painfully. My God... how could he forget their anniversary day? He should have known that it was important to Mark—to the both of us. Not only that, he also acted ridiculously irrational and lashed out at Mark. He snapped at him and acted awfully terrible and insensitive. It made him so sick to think of it, bile rose in his throat. His hands fisting at his sides and he was so angry with himself he was shaking with it.

Mark could feel it too because the next thing he knew, arms gripped his torso tightly and Jackson inhaled sharply when his husband pressed their forehead together. Jackson leaned over him to breathe in Mark’s scent and calm immediately drifted through him. He tilted his head a little and pressed his lips against Mark's forehead. It was amazing how Mark’s presence alone could bring such big impact on Jackson.

 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered the words against his forehead, needing every connection he could manage. “I'm truly sorry. God, I hate myself for making you cry. And for ruining our day.”

Closing his eyes, Mark leaned into him with a sigh. He draped his arms over his broad shoulders.

“I… was confused. And scared. And upset.” He started in a whisper, feeling emotionally drained. “What happened, Gaga?”

 

Mark pulled away slightly so he could see Jackson’s face but his husband refused to meet his eyes. His jaw was taut and Mark knew from that small gesture that Jackson was still upset with himself.

 

“I’m sorry,” he swallowed. “I have no excuses to act that way and you have absolute right to be mad at me—“

“Gaga,” Mark stopped him, bringing his hand to his jaw and forced him to look at his eyes. “Please, just explain everything to me.”

Jackson let out a long sigh.

“It’s just… work wasn’t going well today. My secretary called me and she said one of our investors backed out of our big project at the very last minute and it cost a lot to the company. We have a very intense meeting and it was… nasty. I almost lost my control but I managed to keep my head cool throughout the meeting. I decided to go out for a while because I felt so stuffy at my office. And then… I saw you. With that guy.”

Jackson’s body went rigid at the memory and Mark was quick to wrap his arms around his neck, holding him closer.

“And I lost it. I was… jealous. God, you don’t know how possessive I am when it comes to you, Yien. I don’t like it when someone gets too close to you. You’re mine and I don’t like people touching what’s mine.” He growled the last word, sending a shiver through Mark’s body.

Mark was perfectly aware of Jackson’s possessiveness. It wasn’t so hard to notice. He’d noticed it even before their marriage. His possessiveness toward him was clear in the way he held him, how his hand always draped securely around his body. But Mark liked it. Jackson made him feel safe and loved.

“But I didn’t know that he was your friend,” Jackson continued, he sounded so tired. “If I knew he was your friend, I wouldn’t react like that. I may be possessive but I am a rational man. I’m sorry for everything, Yien.”

 

Relief relaxed Mark's spine and he let out a huge sigh. He was still upset over the fact that today wasn’t going according to his plans but after hearing Jackson’s explanation, he could fully understand his reasons. And he instantly felt bad for him. His husband was going through a stressful day and Mark wasn’t helping at all.

Mark leaned forward and offered his mouth but Jackson stiffened, his jaw visibly tightening. Mark stared at him, confused. He reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze and felt a bit of relief when his husband squeezed back.

 

“Gaga?”

Jackson shook his head, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“I’m sorry, Yien. But I need to punish myself.”

Frowning, Mark should have known that Jackson always so hard to himself, especially when it came to him. It was just so Jackson to punish himself whenever he did something wrong. Mark’s throat closed tight. He reached out to stoke Jackson’s jaw.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t do that to yourself. Please.”

“I can’t.” Jackson sounded so miserable and Mark’s heart ached for him. “What I did to you was terrible. God, I just can’t forgive myself that easily.”

“But today is our anniversary day,” Mark whined, frustrated. “I just… don’t want to fight. Not today. Not now.”

Jackson grabbed Mark's chin, the fingertips that brushed his cheek were infinitely gently. His gaze was focused on him, the black filled with tenderness that nearly made Mark's knee buckled.

“I love you,” he whispered. The words wavered as Mark's eyes stung. “But I need to do this. Let me make it up to you.”

 

With that, Jackson stepped back and gave him a small smile before turning his back. Mark fell on the couch once Jackson disappeared from his vision. He buried his face on his hands, crying silently.

 

* * *

 

Jackson decided to cook for dinner. He didn’t let Mark lift a single finger and told him to just wait. Jackson still couldn’t look at him in the eye and it killed Mark to be around him when he was still like that so he decided to lock himself in their room instead. Mark took this chance to wrap his gift. His eyes fell to his hand and the sight of his wedding ring on the finger of his right hand sent tears to his eyes. Mark felt like they were back in their early days of marriage when Jackson had drawn many careful lines for their physical relationship, with the intent being to make him comfortable. He maintained a safe distance and moved over so carefully around him, trying not to touch him.

Mark didn’t expect today to be like this. As he curled in his bed, pain twisted his chest. Abruptly, he was scared that something would happen to their marriage. This was their first crack and Mark felt sick in the pit of his stomach. He knew he should have talked to Jackson instead of locking himself in their room. God, he loved his husband so much it hurt.

Realization instantly struck Mark. A shudder moved through him, making his whole body vibrated. His chest expanded on a deep breath as he got off the bed, nearly stumbling. He unlocked the door and stepped outside. He found Jackson in the dining room, setting the table. Jackson quickly sensed his presence and he looked at him with a glint of hesitation in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to close the distance between them but couldn't. Mark fought the urge to run into his arms, the place where he so desperately wanted to be. He needed to get everything out of his chest first.

He took a step forward and his hands fisted at his sides.

 

“I love you,” Mark told him, his eyes stinging with fresh tears. “I love you so much.”

“ _Angel_.”

Jackson inhaled sharply, his eyes squeezed shut as if the words were too much for him to take. When he opened his eyes again, his whole body trembling.

“Angel,” he said slowly and Mark’s body trembled in delight at the new nickname. “You don’t have to—“

“No. You need to listen to me,” he cut him off desperately, tears gushing down his face. “I love you. I really do. Please, believe me. I love you, Gaga. I love you so much it hurts.”

 

Jackson reached him with quick strides, dropping the knife. He closed the distance between them and crushed Mark, holding him impossibly close to him. Mark’s arms hugged him so hard there wasn’t any space between them. Jackson was shaking, and Mark cried, overwhelmed by the knowledge of how much Jackson needed him. Tilting his head to the angle he wanted, Jackson took Mark’s mouth with searing possession, tasting him with slow, deep licks. His passion and hunger exploded across Mark’s senses, and he whimpered, his hands in Jackson’s hair, tugging it harshly. His answering groan vibrated through Mark, tightening his nipples and sending goose bumps racing across his skin. He melted into him, his fingers sank into the silky black mane of Jackson’s hair. A sob escaped Mark again.

 

“Don’t,” Jackson breathed, pulling back slightly to press his forehead against Mark’s. He looked into his eyes. “It shreds me when you cry.”

“I love you,” Mark whispered against his lips. “I’m sorry it took me so long to say it.”

Jackson inhaled deeply. It overwhelmed him. His love for him, his love for him. Every time Mark said the words, they hit him like blows. Jackson has been waiting for his entire life to this moment and it finally came. His heart thudded audibly against his ribs and his breath seemed to get stuck on his throat.

Mark rubbed the tip of his nose against him, his hands sliding reverently along his bare arms.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything. I love you, Gaga.”

Swallowing hard, Jackson whispered back, “Say that again.”

Mark smiled. His eyes were warm and bright, the curve of his mouth loving and hopeful. He cupped Jackson’s jaw and dropped a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“I love you. I love you so much. God, I will never get tired of saying that. I love you.”

“God, Angel. You will be the death of me.”

Jackson swept Mark up in his arms and carried a giggling Mark into the bedroom with him.

 

* * *

 

The world shifted and Mark was on my back, Jackson hovering above him. Mark spread his legs willingly and Jackson settled between his tights, finally at home. Their bodies fitted perfectly like they were made for each other. Mark didn’t know until that moment how badly he’d needed to feel him like that. Tender and close, bared in every way possible. He looked at Jackson and his pulse stuttered at the tender, haunted way he was looking at him. Mark reached up to touch his jaw, his chest aching when Jackson nuzzled into his palm.

 

“I’m so sorry.” Jackson said, feeling so emotionally raw after the long day they’d had. He caught Mark’s wrist and pulled his hand down to press flat over his heart.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. “Can you feel it?”

Mark could feel the wild rhythm of Jackson’s heartbeat and he instantly felt a flutter of happiness inside his chest. His hand fisted in the cotton of his T-shirt.

“Yes.” Mark whispered back. “Can you show me just how much you love me?”

“Angel,” he breathed, lowering his head to press his lips in the corner of his mouth. “I will never let you go.”

Mark smiled at him and Jackson was struck because he looked so beautiful beneath him.

“You can’t let me go either.”

“Never.” Jackson vowed fiercely before sealed his mouth over Mark’s.

 

Mark pushed his fingers into Jackson’s hair to hold him still and kissed him back, his tongue sliding along his. He moaned when Jackson deepened the kiss, effortlessly taking his breath away. His hand slid down to cup his jaw, stroking it gently.

 

“I love you too,” I whispered against his beautiful mouth. “I’m yours forever, Jiaer.”

His returning kiss was greedy, devouring, and yet the way he held Mark close to him was gentle. As if he was the most precious thing in the world. When he pulled back, they were both breathing hard.

“Will you let me make love to you, Yien?”

Mark’s chest tightened, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.  

“Yes, please.”

 

Jackson smiled and pulled him down for the sweetest of kisses, his firm lips moving gently beneath Mark’s. Sliding his arms beneath his t-shirt, Mark hugged him, soaking up the warmth of his lean, hard body. Jackson pressed the advantage, his tongue dipping into his mouth, lightly touching and teasing with velvet licks. Deceptively unhurried. Mark sought a deeper contact, needing more. Always more.

Jackson groaned into Mark’s mouth, an erotic sound of pleasure and need that vibrated through him. The kiss deepened, their tongues stroking, their breaths quickening. The arm Mark had banded beneath Jackson’s back tightened, pulling him closer. Jackson’s hand slid beneath Mark’s shirt, breaking their kiss for a second to pull it over his head. He kissed him again almost immediately, cradling his bare spine in his warm palm. His fingertips flexed, gentling him even as the kiss grew wild. Mark arched into the caress, needing the reassurance of his touch against his bare skin.

The kiss was nearly overwhelming and Mark gasped, sweeping away by Jackson's passion and the beloved feel of his weight pressing him into the mattress. He smelled so good. His skin was so warm.

 

“Off.” Mark demanded, needing to feel him skin to skin. Jackson was quick to strip off their clothes altogether and soon they were naked. Bared to each other. Mark wrapped his arms and legs around him, sighing deeply when he finally could feel Jackson without any barrier.

“Jiear,” whispered, his fingers linking behind his neck to capture him. Jackson’s erection lay hot and heavy against his entrance. “Please.”

“Ssh, angel,” Jackson nipped his earlobe with his teeth, causing a sharp sting that made Mark cry out. “I've got you.”

 

Mark’s hips arched as Jackson reached between his legs and then his wet fingers pushed into him, opening him gently—he didn’t even know when his husband got the lube. Jackson lowered his head and his lips surrounded the taut point of Mark’s nipple. His mouth was scorching hot, his tongue a rough velvet lash against his tender flesh. When his teeth bit into the hardened bud, Mark cried out, his body jerking as sharp need arrowed to his core. He clutched at his hair, too impassioned to be gentle. His legs wrapped around him, tightening.

A sharp jolt of pleasure shot through his body when Jackson pushed his three fingers to the hilt and touched his bundle of nerves. He was so deep inside him and Mark couldn’t help but moan, writhing beautifully beneath his husband.

 

“ _Jiaer_!”

Jackson growled, deep in his throat. “God, you’re so wet and open for me.”

Mark moaned louder when Jackson kept thrusting his fingers upward, hitting the same spot over and over again. A wanton wave of pleasure got Mark trembling in delight. He whimpered, rocking his hips down to meet Jackson’s thrusts. A hot little shivers race through his body and he could feel the heat that was building in the pit of his stomach. But he didn’t want to come. Not before Jackson was inside him. He needed him impossibly close and deep. He needed him now.

“Jiear, please,” he sobbed. His body was coated in sweat, barely able to breathe. “I’m ready for you. Please.”

 

Mark made whimpering, needy sounds, and Jackson growled. He pulled his fingers out and for a moment Mark felt empty, his wet entrance clenching helplessly. Mark circled Jackson’s thick erection with his fingers, positioning him and then lifting to take the first inch of Jackson inside him. Jackson grabbed his butt cheeks in both hands and squeezed, kneading. Holding Mark’s hips, Jackson thrust, sinking deep into him, moaning with pleasure as Mark closed tight around him.

 

“God, Yien. I need you so much.” Jackson groaned with masculine pleasure and Mark’s toes curled. His arms and legs caged him, holding him tight. Time and everything else in the world ceased to matter. His senses flooded with Jackson, only Jackson.

“Take me. I’m all yours.”

 

Jackson growled and thrust deep, rolling his hips. Mark threw his head back, letting out the loudest moans that sending a vibration through their bodies. Jackson’s hand cupped his buttock, lifting him into a deft roll of his hips. Mark gasped as the pleasure radiated through him, his nipples beading hard and tight against his chest. His nails raked Jackson’s back from shoulder to hips. His husband arched into the rough caress with a low growl, his head thrown back in deliciously erotic abandon. He's rubbing and thrusting into Mark, hitting the spot inside him that made his whole body quivered.

 

“Again,” Mark ordered gruffly, his face flushed and lips parted. “Again, Jiear.”

Leaning down, Jackson kissed Mark’s shoulder, his breath gusting hot against his skin. Mark could feel his lips moved when he spoke.

“ _Angel_ ,”  Over and over he said the word. Brokenly. Desperately. Breathlessly. _Forever yours_.

Mark sobbed, feeling overly sensitive.

“Ji-Jiear, I’m close.”

“Wait for me, angel.”

 

Jackson pulled out and thrust back into him with a powerful strength that made Mark arched his back and clenched around him eagerly. The power of Jackson’s body as he pounded into him, the force with which he drove his cock into him, had Mark quivering on the verge again.

 

“I love you,” Mark moaned, pushing his hair away from his eyes. Jackson grunted, pounding his hips up, yanking Mark’s hips down to meet his thrusts. A few more thrusts and Mark came, _untouched_.  Jackson growled his name and started coming, his teeth clenching, his hips pressed tight to Mark’s, screwing deep. It made something flutter inside Mark, the feel of Jackson coming inside him.

“So good,” Jackson groaned, spurting hot and deep inside his husband. They strained together, grasping at each other.

Mark kissed the tip of his nose. “Love you.”

Tears stung Jackson’s eyes. Mark said the words only today and Jackson felt like he could explode right at this moment because right now, it was more than perfect. It was what Jackson always wanted.

“Tell me again,” He begged, holding on to him.

Mark’s mouth found Jackson’s.

“I love you. Forever.”

He declared the words and both of them knew that it was the truth.

 

* * *

 

“Come here. Cuddle me.”

Mark reached out for Jackson as soon as his husband emerged from the bathroom. He was only clad in sweatpants, his bare chest glistening with sweats. Jackson chuckled, padding over toward the bed. He slid into the mattress, settling himself beside Mark. He caught him by the waist and pulled him closer, tucking him against his chest again. Jackson’s embrace was the most wonderful feeling in the world. His hands stroked the length of Mark’s spine, gentling him.

“I’m so happy right now.” Jackson said, sighing deeply. “You make me feel incredibly happy today.”

Mark smiled. “You make me happy too.”

“I’m still feeling bad about ruining your plans though.”

Mark pinched his stomach playfully, making Jackson laughed.

“We’re not going to talk about that ever again. Don’t ruin the moment, Mr. Perfect.”

Jackson looked down at him, lifting one of his eyebrows.

“Mr. Perfect? So, you think I am perfect?”

Mark pouted. “Don’t tease me!”

Jackson let out a breathy laugh, a genuine smile broke across his face and it instantly warmed Mark’s heart.

“I’m sorry, angel,” he leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose. “Don’t be mad.”

 

Mark’s face flushed and Jackson chuckled, pinching his cheek lightly. He whined, burying his face in his chest. Jackson hugged him tight, inhaling his scent.

 

“Angel?”

Mark hummed, perfectly content. “Can I still give you our anniversary gift?”

Mark gasped loudly, pulling his face so he could stare at Jackson. His eyes widened.

“ _What?_ ”

Jackson smiled down at him sheepishly. “I’ve got you something.”

Mark stared at him for a very long time, his throat tightened.

“You… prepared something for me?”

“Of course, angel,” he said. “But you can’t have it now.”

Mark frowned, whining. “ _Why_?”  

“Because,” he answered, reaching out to tap the tip of his nose playfully. “Our second honeymoon hasn’t officially started yet until next week.”

Mark stared at him, his jaw dropping. The look on his face made Jackson laughed a little louder.

“Our second honeymoon?”

Jackson smiled softly, nodding. “Yes. I’ve prepared everything since last month. But I can’t tell you about it yet. It’s a secret.”

 

Mark couldn’t say anything for a moment. Jackson had prepared everything since last month. That meant he didn’t completely forgot their anniversary. He’d prepared something long before Mark came up with his own plans. He should have known that his husband was full of surprise. Mark instantly felt so stupid for acting childish earlier. Feeling incredibly happy, Mark climbed into Jackson's lap, straddling him. He draped his arms around his shoulders, looking straight to his eyes.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, dropping a kiss at the tip of his nose. “I love you.”

Mark’s brilliant smile and enthusiastic kiss were all the reward Jackson needed.

“I love you more,” he whispered back, sliding his arms around him. “Are you happy?”

“Absolutely.” Mark answered, grinning like a child. “I also have something for you. I’ll give it to you later. Even though it’s completely nothing compared to your gift.”

Jackson pinched his cheek gently. “Don’t say that. I will accept everything, especially kisses. Can you give me a kiss as our anniversary gift instead?”  

Mark giggled like he had the whole world in his tiny hands. He pecked his husband on the lips as a reward.

“Kiss me again,” Jackson demanded, squeezing his waist gently.

Mark pecked his lips two times.

“Again.”

Three pecks on the lips.

“Ag—“

Mark slapped his chest, whining. “Greedy!”

Jackson laughed and Mark laughed along with him.

“Let me kiss you then.”

Jackson leaned down to kiss his husband but Mark pulled away from him, grinning mischievously.

“No,” he shook his head. “We need to take shower because I feel so sticky. And stink, ew.”

This time, it’s Jackson’s turn to whine.

“But I just cleaned you up,” he said, tightening his hold around Mark. “And you smell like me. Wonderful. And I wasn’t done kissing you~”

 

Mark giggled, getting off Jackson’s lap. He padded over to the bathroom, swaying his hips a little—he did that on purpose, obviously. Jackson growled, deep and low. His husband was still naked and there were love bites on his skin, making him looked even more beautiful. His thighs, his bare legs, and his firm ass looked so inviting. Jackson felt a sudden pulsing heat in his groin.

 

“Gaga, come shower with me?”

Mark stopped at the doorway, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. Jackson made a strange sound in the back of his throat.

“You asked for it, Wang Yien.”

 

That night they proceed to have their first bathroom sex and possibly the hottest sex they ever had.  

 

* * *

 

Mark woke up because someone yelled his name—probably more than one person judging from how loud it was. He groaned, sinking deeper into the comforter because he was still sleepy and wanted to sleep more. He hadn’t fully awake when the door of his room was opened and three figures stumbling inside, looking overly excited.

 

“MARK HYUNG, WAKE UP~!”

Mark’s eyes snapped open when he heard Youngjae’s voice—he knew it was Youngjae’s voice because it was extremely loud. He blinked and found Youngjae, Bambam, and Yugyeom standing at the edge of the bed, staring at him. He stared back at them, bewildered.

“What happened?”

Yugyeom jumped onto the bed and the others followed. His brother shoved a newspaper right into Mark’s face. Mark fought the urge to throw them out because he started to get dizzy. It was still early and he didn’t prepare himself for these intruders.

“Hyung, you need to see this!” Yugyeom said, waving the newspaper frantically.

“Hurry, hyung!” Bambam urged him and Youngjae nodded his head furiously.

 

Mark sat up and leaned against the headboard. He took the newspaper from Yugyeom and read whatever it was they wanted him to see. Squinting at it, Mark began to read. There, in one of the newspaper columns, was a photo of Jackson kissing him senseless on the sidewalk outside Wang’s empire building. The accompanying article was short and to the point:

 

 

> _Wang Jackson, Asian’s most eligible businessman was spotted in a passionate public embrace with a man who was suspected as his partner. The news of the businessman tied the knot last year was a bomb to the public. We’ve been wondering why Wang didn’t reveal his bride.  A source at Wang’s enterprise identified the lucky man as Im Yien, son of multimillionaire Im Jaebum and his wife, best-seller writer and painter, Im Jinyoung. When queried about the nature of the relationship between Wang and Im, the course confirmed that Im Yien—now we all know that it’s Wang Yien—is indeed his partner. There still no confirmation as to why they kept their marriage a secret. We imagine hearts are breaking across the country this morning._

“Oh, crap,” Mark breathed, staring at those words with burning eyes. His hands weren’t quite steady as he folded the newspaper and handed it back to Yugyeom.

“What the hell is happening?” Mark demanded, looking at three clueless faces who were staring back at him. He instantly groaned.

“Where’s my husband?”

“He’s out running errands but he will be back soon.” Youngjae answered, tilting his head a little. “So, it wasn’t planned?”

Mark let out a sigh, feeling a headache coming.

“Of course not, sunshine,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. Where the hell was Jackson when Mark needed him the most?

 

It wasn’t supposed to happen. They agreed to keep their marriage a secret. The photo in the newspaper, Mark remembered it clearly like it just happened yesterday. It happened just a month ago when Mark visited Jackson at his office. He brought lunch for his husband and that day Jackson insisted to walk him to the car. They were in a very good mood and he remembered Jackson suddenly swept him into his arms, kissing him senselessly.

Honestly, Mark didn’t quite know how to react to the news. At first his family decided to keep the marriage a secret because they wanted to protect Mark’s privacy. He was still too young and exposure could bring harm to his personal life. But a part of him felt a strange surge of relief. He still remembered how upset he was when his friends mistaken Jackson’s bride as a girl—a beautiful girl with a perfect slender body and long shiny hair. But now people knew that Mark was Jackson’s partner. His bride.

 

“Hyung, are you okay?”

Bambam’s voice brought Mark back to the reality. He sighed.

“I… don’t know, Bam,” he said truthfully. “I have mixed feelings about this.”

“I’m so happy when I read the news,” Yugyeom said, smiling brightly. “This means no more insecurity. It’s like a permanent reassurance for you, hyung. Jackson hyung is yours and the whole world knows about that now.”

Mark blushed, embarrassed because his brother could easily read him. Youngjae grinned at him.

“This also means Jackson hyung is not going to hold back. He finally can show you off to the world!”

“That’s right!” Bambam added enthusiastically. “We all know how proud Jackson hyung is to have you as his wife. He is so lucky, you know.”

Before Mark could open his mouth to say something, a familiar voice beat him.

“I am indeed.”

 

Leaning against the wall, Jackson had both arms over his chest. He stared at Mark, grinning like a child—it was very rare to see him like that. Mark quickly snatched the newspaper from Yugyeom’s hand again, waving it in the air.

 

“Do you know about this?” 

Jackson nodded, his bright smile didn’t leave his face.

“I’ve seen it.”

Mark blinked up at him, confused at his nonchalance. “You’re okay with it?”

Jackson chuckled, looking at his husband with an amused smile.

“Why wouldn’t I be? For once, they’re reporting the truth.”

A sneaking suspicion niggled at Mark. He frowned at his husband.

“You planned it. You did that on purpose, don’t you?” Mark wanted to scold him but he didn’t sound mad at all. On the contrary, he was happy. He felt like the weight on his shoulders finally disappeared.  

“Not really. Those paparazzi happened to be there. I just gave them a good picture worth printing and I told them who you are and what you are to me. Aren’t you happy about it?”  

“Well…” Mark stuttered, tearing his gaze away. His cheeks flushed because he was _indeed_ happy. Yugyeom, Youngjae, and Bambam giggled, clearly mocking him. Mark glared at them, pouting.

“You guys are not helping!”

 

Yugyeom draped his arms around his brother’s neck, smacking his cheek with sloppy kisses. Mark’s attempt to appear mad failed again and he finally laughed. Jackson approached him and stopped before him. He leaned down to drop a tender kiss to his forehead.

 

“I love you, angel.” Jackson whispered. Mark stared at him with a bright face, smiling softly.

“I love you too.” He whispered back. “So much.”

For a moment Mark forgot that he wasn’t alone in this room. It wasn’t until he heard Bambam snorted loudly that he realized he just showed a public display of affection. His cheeks turned crimson.

“EW. Get a room!”

“Shut up, kid.” Jackson glared at him playfully. “Now go make your own breakfast. I need a moment with my angel.”

Yugyeom made a face. “GROSS.” 

 

The three of them jumped out of the bed, leaving the couple behind. When the door finally slammed shut, Jackson locked eyes with Mark’s and a big smile broke across their face.

It was perfect. This, right now, was perfect.

 

* * *

 

After waiting for a whole week, finally they were ready for their second honeymoon. It was the perfect time to go on a vacation because Mark had just finished his mid-terms and he really needed some time to get away. After the news about Jackson’s bride became a hot topic, going to campus was a challenge. Just like he'd imagined, his friends were relentless. They bombarded him with a lot of questions, especially Kihyun and Minhyun who had endless questions about Jackson. There's always people following him, his personal space was gone in a blink of an eye and albeit he liked the idea of being known as Jackson's husband, he still needed time to get used to all the attention.

Mark was looking forward to their second honeymoon because he really wanted to spend some time with his husband. He didn’t know where they’re going because Jackson had refused to tell him their destination; no matter how many times Mark had begged him, saying only that it was a surprise.

Jackson still had to work today so they left after dinner. A car was waiting in front of their house and Mr. Han opened the door when Jackson and Mark stepped outside. Mark slid in first and a moment later Jackson settled beside him. Jackson took his hand and ran his fingertips over the palm, the simple touch making him curled closer to him.

 

“Angel.”

Jackson hit a button and the privacy glass behind the driver began to slide up. The next moment Mark was tugged across his lap. He leaned down to kiss him but Mark put a finger across his lips, stopping him. Jackson growled and Mark giggled.

“I'll let you kiss me if you tell me where we’re going.”

“Never.”

Mark pouted. “Then I'm not going to kiss you again!”

Jackson gave him a lopsided smirk and Mark knew that he already lost the game because there's nothing that could stop his husband.

“You will, angel.” He said calmly, but his arms banded around him in that possessive, commanding way that made Mark's heart swelled. “Kiss me. _Now_.”

 

And Mark did what he'd wanted to do since they slid into a car. He shoved his hands in Jackson's hair and kissed him fiercely. Jackson kissed him back, growling when Mark tugged his hair harshly. Mark loved the way Jackson kissed him, as if Mark was his oxygen, as if he'd died if he didn't. Jackson parted his lips and sucked on his tongue, successfully drew a loud moan from Mark. His hands were sliding over his back and slipped underneath his sweater, gripping his waist tightly. Mark shifted, moving to straddle Jackson. He could feel his erection against his lower abdomen and bravely rolled his hips down, making both of them moaned in delight. Feeling brave, Mark grinded down and he threw his head back when Jackson instantly thrust upward.

 

“Angel,” Jackson grunted, gripping Mark's waist so tight it would definitely leave bruises but he didn't care. “Don't start what you can't finish.”

Mark whined, staring down at Jackson with half-lidded eyes. His face flushed and it took everything in Jackson not to take him right at this moment.

“I want you,” he whispered, sounding desperate. “Please. Please.”

 

His deep and dangerous growl was the answer Mark needed. Mark wrapped his arms around his shoulders and deepened the kiss. Jackson licked into his mouth, nibbling on his lower lips. Mark's whole body quivered and he didn't really care that they're currently in the car and that Mr. Han could totally hear them. He just wanted Jackson and right now he didn't have time to feel embarrassed.

 

“Lift your arms, angel.”

Mark did as he's told and Jackson was quick to strip him off his clothes. He urged his husband to do the same as he wriggled to get his jeans off. Jackson didn't even get a chance to completely get his jeans off when suddenly Mark rocked his hips against him again, stroking himself with the hard length of his cock. Jackson's breath hissed out between clenched teeth. Jackson leaned forward to bite the shell of his ear.

“Someone's impatient.”

“I need you, Gaga.” Mark said breathlessly.

“I've got you, angel.” Jackson whispered against his lips. “I've got you.”

 

Jackson reached out to snatch a small bag across them and took out a bottle of lube. He uncapped the bottle and poured just enough on his fingers. He gripped Mark's thighs, his hands sliding upward between his legs, teasing his entrance. One of his thumbs slid inside Mark, sparking a fierce lust.

 

“I barely touch you,” he whispered, his eyes glittering up at him. “But you're ready for me.”

“I'm always ready for you.” Mark answered him firmly, rocking his hips down when Jackson slid his second fingers. He bit his lips, clenching helplessly around him when Jackson added another finger. His husband working him open and Mark couldn't help his loud moans whenever Jackson hit his soft spot. He did it over and over again, teasing him.

“Please,” Mark sobbed, his body trembling. “Gaga, I need you. Now.”

 

Jackson didn't answer him but he reached out to get the lube. He was about to pour it on his erection when Mark's hand snatch it from him.

“Let me.” he whispered. Jackson shuddered, nodding.

When Jackson fell heavily into Mark's palm, his husband groaned. Mark squeezed him. Jackson was so hard and it made Mark trembled. Jackson gripped his tights possessively when Mark positioned him and he slid inside with ease.

“Angel.” Jackson's lips brushed over his shoulder blade. “My sweet, beautiful angel.”

Mark whimpered, feeling so full and overwhelmed. After a moment, Jackson's hips began to lunge, his hard length pumping upward into him. Mark let out a hoarse cry of his name, his entire body convulsing in fierce tremors.

“God, you're so tight.” Jackson gasped, thrusting harder.

 

They were so close, eye-to-eye, only inches apart, cocooned in a small space. Opening his eyes, Mark looked at Jackson from under heavy eyelids. Jackson looked back, his eyes dark. Mark kissed him again as he rocked his hips, feeling the orgasm building. His neck arched as Jackson slid even deeper, a low sound escaping him because it felt _sooo_ good. It wasn't long until Mark came with a moan of Jackson's name, his entire body vibrated. Jackson was tireless, extending his pleasure with the perfect thrusts. When he finally came, deep inside him, Mark cupped his face and didn't break the eye contact. Jackson's blissful face when he came made him felt proud and happy.

 

When Mark collapsed in Jackson's arms, panting and soaked with sweat, his husband bent his head a little and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“I love you, angel.”

Mark hummed. “I love you, too.”

Jackson tilted his chin up and kissed him again. He kissed him softly, reverently, until Mark fell asleep in his arms.  

 

* * *

 

“Angel.” Jackson’s voice was a warm rasp in Mark’s ear. “Wake up.”

Mark moaned, squeezing his eyes shut tighter and burying his face deeper into Jackson’s neck.

“Leave me alone, you meanie.”

Jackson’s silent laughter shook Mark. He pressed a hard kiss to his forehead.

“We’re here, angel.”

Cracking one eye open, Mark realized that the sun was out. He sat up and looked out the windows, gasping when he saw the ocean. They’d stopped for gas once but he hadn’t been able to get his bearings or figure out where they were.

“Where are we?” Mark breathed, thrilled by the sight of the sun climbing over the water. It had to be solidly into morning. Maybe even midmorning.

“We’re in one of our resorts in Jeju Island.” He answered. “Lift your arms, angel.”       

 

Mark obeyed automatically and Jackson slid a tank top over his head. He unbuckled his belt, telling Mark to straighten his body so he could pull his jeans down. A moment later Mark only clad in his boxer and he felt exposed. The air conditioner in the car made a shiver ran through him.

“Why are you undressing me? Can I at least have my tank top?”

“No one’s here to see you but me and we’re going straight into the bathtub.”

Jackson got out first, then held his hand out for Mark. The bracing, salty breeze hit Mark’s face, waking him. The rhythmic surge of the ocean grounded him to the moment and where they were. Mr. Han was nowhere to be seen, which was a relief, since Mark was very aware of his lack of clothes.  

“Mr. Han drove all night?”

“We switched drivers when we stopped for gas.”

 

Jackson picked him up and carried him bridal style. Mark shrieked, wrapping his arms around Jackson's neck. The door was unlocked and they walked right in. Mark took in the décor of the house. It was rustic on the outside and modern contemporary on the inside. The wainscoted walls were painted a bright white and decorated with massive black-and-white photos of seashells. The furniture was all white, and most of the accessory pieces were glass and metal. Jackson carried him toward the stairs and when they reached the top floor, he found the master suite was a totally open space. Bouquets of white roses, white tulips, and white calla lilies covered nearly every flat surface. The bed was massive and covered in white satin. The place reminded Mark of the bungalow in Wang Island. They'd never visited it again and Mark made a mental note to tell his husband later.

 

Mark looked at Jackson. “Have you been here before?”

Jackson nodded, settling Mark carefully down to the bed.

“I have been in this place before. For business reasons. But I've never been in this house. I bought it last month for us.”

Mark stared at him incredulously.

“You're joking.”

Jackson laughed, running his fingers through his hair.

“Never.” He said. “I'm going downstairs to get our bags. Wait here, angel. We're going to shower together.”

Mark smiled shyly.

“Okay.”

“God, you're so cute.”

 

Jackson smacked his lips against his cheek before going downstairs. Mark could only giggle with happiness.

 

* * *

 

Mark took the stairs down to the first floor and found Jackson in the kitchen. His husband told him that he would take care of their breakfast so Mark could enjoy the scenery. So he decided to step out through the French doors that led to the deck instead. The roar of the surf and the biting salt spray hit him at once. Taking a deep breath, he gripped the railing and closed his eyes, feeling instantly happy. The ocean gave him a sense of calm and clarity, something he needed the most at the moment.

A moment later the door opened behind him and Mark took a deep breath before turning to face Jackson with a brilliant smile. His husband approached him with two streaming mugs—one filled with black coffee and the other was chocolate with a marshmallow on top of it. He handed it to Mark with a smile.

 

“Thank you.” Mark said, couldn't hide his happy mood and ended up smiling brightly from ear to ear. Jackson turned Mark to face the ocean again and he moved behind him, pressing his chest firmly against Mark's back.

"What do you want to do today?"

Jackson asked, nuzzling the side of his face. Mark hummed.

“Spending time with you.”

“Brace yourself. You'll be stuck with me for the next five days. No personal spaces.”

Mark chuckled. “I know.”

Jackson bit his jaw. “God, angel. I love you so much.”

“Well, you know I love you too. But I need my breakfast right now.”

“You ruined the moment.”

Mark grumbled. “Blame my growling stomach.”

Jackson laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“You're unbelievable.”

 

They had a quick breakfast before heading outside. Mark's feet hit the warm sand and he felt alive. He watched the palm trees sway gently in the warm ocean breeze and felt kind of peace he rarely caught. Mark ran to the water and Jackson chased him. His husband smiled brightly, his dark hair blowing in the ocean breeze, his face movie-star handsome. Sometimes Mark still struggled to believe that the man before him was his.

 

“Come and get me, tiger!”

Jackson roared like a beast, his deep voice broke the tranquil ocean. Mark ran, laughing as Jackson tried to reach him. A warm breeze blew in, kissing their face and sifting through their hair. Jackson caught Mark by the waist and took both of them down, laughing when they fell onto the sand. Mark's happy laughter and bright eyes were Jackson’s biggest reward. Turning, Jackson pinned him down. His hair hung around his face, dripping water onto Mark's. His little angel wriggled beneath him, sticking his tongue out at him playfully.

 

“I caught you.”

Mark smiled like he was the happiest man on Earth.

“Can I kiss you as my reward?”

Mark wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck, looking at him with a gleam in his beautiful eyes.

“Show me just how much you love me,” he challenged. “I dare you.”

Mark had regretted saying those words because the moment Jackson lowered his head to seal his mouth over his; he'd kissed his breath away and made him completely surrendered beneath him.

 

* * *

 

There's a party in the beach and albeit Mark preferred to spend his time with his husband, he couldn't say no because there would be some businessmen over there and Jackson had to seal some deals with them. Mark was a little bit upset because his husband still found time to work on their honeymoon but he'd promised him that they wouldn't stay more than an hour. It was urgent and Mark couldn’t possibly be mad at Jackson.

As expected, the party was expensive. Mark felt slightly isolated and awkward because he was never good with a crowd.  But he was glad Jackson never let go of his hand. His husband walked closer to him, his shoulder pressed firmly against Mark's. It was enough to calm Mark a little.

 

“Are you okay, angel?” he asked quietly. Mark felt slightly dizzy but he smiled.

“Yeah.”

“I have to talk to clients. I'll be real quick. Is it okay if you wait here?”

Mark nodded. “Okay.”

Jackson leaned down to kiss his lips.

“I love you.”

 

Right after Jackson left him, three women dressed in open bikinis approached him. They were all caucasian; tall, slender, and blonde. They looked like Victoria Secret models and unconsciously Mark took a step back, confused as to why they approached him.

 

“So, he's the guy.” One of them said, speaking in English. She looked at him up and down, her mouth curved into a smirk. Mark's stomach dropped. A sick feeling settled in his gut.

“Do you think you deserve someone like Jackson Wang?”

The girl in the middle spat, looking at him with so much disdain in her eyes. Mark inhaled sharply, clearly didn't expect this kind of blow. He wanted to say something in return but another girl beat him.

“You're too pale and plain. Jackson deserves someone better than you.”

 

Mark froze, hit by anxiety sharp enough to make his whole body trembled. He couldn't breathe and his eyes quickly brimmed with tears. They looked at him mockingly. Suddenly all those negative emotions flooding and Mark would've fallen onto the ground if it weren't for strong arms around him.

 

“ _Fuck off_. All of you.” Jackson snarled, his voice loud enough to draw attention from people around them. He pressed Mark's face against his chest, holding him tight. Mark felt a huge surge of relief, clutching Jackson's shirt so hard his knuckles turned white.

His ears ringing and he couldn't hear anything but he could feel Jackson's body trembled with anger. His husband was so angry and he was shaking so hard. His hands curled into a fist and Mark clung to him, needing the physical contact to calm his wild heartbeat. He knew both of them needed that at the moment. Mark took a ragged breath when Jackson pressed his cold lips against his sweaty temple.

“Let's get you out of here.”

Mark could only nod. Jackson swept him up in his arms and Mark hid his face in his neck. When they're finally away from the bustling beach, Mark burst into tears. He cried so hard and it shattered Jackson to hear him.

“I'm so sorry, angel.” he murmured, pressing small kisses to his hair. “It's my fault. I shouldn't have left you alone.”

Mark pulled his face away from Jackson’s neck to look at his husband.

“It's not your fault.” he said in between his tears. Jackson's face twisted in pain.

“I'm sorry.” He said the words over and over again. “God, it kills me to see you crying, angel.”

 

Mark's chest tightened painfully and their words brought unpleasant feelings in the pit of his stomach. He felt sick and the happy moment he had with Jackson was ruined because of that. Feeling upset and irate, Mark reached up and slid his fingers into Jackson's hair. He leaned down and kissed him desperately. Jackson kissed him back almost immediately, his lips moved against Mark's, growing wetter and wilder. Mark was panting with his hunger for him and needy sounds spilling from his throat. Jackson's kisses were gifts. He kissed with everything he had, with power and passion and hunger and love. He held nothing back, giving everything, exposing everything. Mark's senses were drenched in him, in his flavor and scent, his mind spinning as he angled his head, seeking a deeper taste. Wanting to lick deeper, suck harder.

No matter how close they were, it was never enough. Mark wanted him so much. Now.

 

Mark let out a whimper against Jackson’s lips.

“Gaga, I want you.”

Jackson groaned. “God, angel. I need to be inside you.”

Mark sobbed. “Please.”

 

The next thing Mark knew, he was flat on his back in the sand. Jackson pinned him down, pressing him hard. Mark arched, feeling Jackson's hard erection against his thigh. Jackson kissed him again. His mouth was frantic, his lips swollen like Mark's, his tongue greedy and possessive. Mark lay beneath him, completely his. The rising moon casted a trail over the ocean and that night when Jackson finally slid inside him, so deep and raw that Mark could feel every inch of him, nothing compared to what they’re feeling at the moment. Their moans mingled with wild waves and the night-breeze.

That night they fell apart together and found home in each other’s arms.

 

* * *

 

The sun dipped below the edge of the horizon, setting fire to the ocean. It was their last day and they decided to snuggle at the deck while watching the sunset. Mark curled against Jackson and sighed with pleasure, sinking into the hardness of his powerful body as his husband cradled him. His hand stroked up and down his bare thighs.

 

“This is nice.” Jackson hummed in happiness.

“I wish we could come here more often.”

“I’ll take care of that, angel.”

Mark smiled, taking one of Jackson’s hands and playing with his fingers that were slightly bigger than his.

“I know you will.”

There was a stretch of silence before Jackson speaking again.

“Angel?”

“Hhm?”

“Do you want to build a family with me?”

 

Mark stopped his movement. He turned around to face Jackson. His husband had the most serious look on his face and Mark knew he wasn’t joking right now. It wasn’t like Mark never thought about having a family with Jackson before. He did, a couple of times. He just didn’t know how to bring the topic to his husband. Now that Jackson finally brought it out, Mark couldn’t contain a wave of happiness that flooded him.

Reaching up, Mark cupped Jackson’s nape, running his fingers through the rough silk of his hair.

 

“Yes,” he whispered. “I would love to.”

A brilliant and victorious smile broke across Jackson’s face, making him looked ten times handsome than usual.

“One day?”

“One day.”  Mark promised him.

 

Jackson dipped his head down to kiss Mark, his mouth moving gently, his tongue licking leisurely. One day, they would have a family together. The thought of their own kids running around the house and laughing like they had no care in the world warmed their hearts. Until then, they had each other. And that was all they needed.  

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's already so long and there's no room for epilog. Maybe next time xD

**Author's Note:**

> I'm 24/7 on twitter @baby2steph


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